How would your spouse/partner react if...

[Dinodrivingacar]

You accidentally reversed your car into a wall and caused some scratches to the bumper? Then went to some garages to price up quotes and get booked in. You will pay for repairs. For info, it's a fairly new and decent car.

I’ve done similar, scraped car door when pulling out of the drive. Was really upset and nervous to tell dh (having previously been in an abusive relationship). He was completely fine, very calm and reassuring that it was only a car, so no big deal. He sorted the repair and never mentioned it again. Shit happens, and something as simple as damage to the car, where no one has been hurt really shouldn’t cause a huge upset, or deserve the silent treatment.

This is shit. You sound frightened of upsetting him or giving him something to disapprove of. Don't put up with this, seriously this is awful.

My DH would say at least no one's hurt. Cars can be replaced.

Silent treatment is great you can say what you like.

Does the piggy cunt want a cup of tea? Nope OK. Little cunt. Nasty cunt. Childish cunt.

He's not talking to you so won't reply.

Seriously though sad that these men care more about their cars.

Lbv OPs partner is a total dick who should be EXP not DH. But you realise your partner's response is also ridiculous and ott? He shouldn't be punishing you for decisions that don't hard him

Fuck me, if I was married to your husband he would never speak to me with how often I accidentally scratch the car. I damaged mine the other week and like PP's, my DP just laughed at me and checked I was ok. Hasn't mentioned it since...which is a very normal response.

I'd be re-evaluating your relationship.

Checking I was ok would be his first reaction and after confirming that I wasn’t hurt or upset, he’d probably joke about it. If I was upset, his first reaction would be to comfort me. It’s just a thing. It’s easily fixed and nobody was hurt.

His reaction is emotionally abusive. He’s punishing you. It’s not something that happens in a healthy relationship and I suspect that he’s probably quite unpleasant to you in other ways as well.

Mine would be a bit unimpressed but it’s my car and my money and he would know that I would feel awful about it. He’d probably offer to help me pay for it

My husband has two cars and I reversed one into the front of the other which is a 20 year old Porsche that's his pride and joy, luckily I was having our 12 week scan the next day so I got away with it quickly, he still can't laugh about it today

I missed this post. This is definitely not normal Op. Do you realise how awful he is? Or has he got you to the stage where you’re normalising it?

Oh he sounds so awful, irredeemably awful. You deserve better.

Call me a twit and still tease me nearly 10 years later about gate posts jumping out into the road.

I retaliate with how I've never written off a car and he has twice! (As a teenager)

Your DH however is being a complete cock. Accidents happen. You shouldn't be scared of his reaction

As with most of the responses here, he would make sure I was OK and then get it sorted

As my dad used to say 'it's only a hunk of metal'

I hope you are OK @Dinodrivingacar

Your DH's reaction is not normal - in my world.
Mine would be like at least no one's hurt, it's a car, can be repaired.

Can you ask him why he was sympathetic to your sister in law (his sister?) but is acting like this towards you?

So it's YOUR car, not even one you share? He's completely out of order. Unless there's a backstory where you're really struggling for money and the amount you need to spend on repairs will be incredibly difficult, he's hugely out of order. Even if that IS the situation, he still shouldn't be giving you the silent treatment. That's immature and abusive.

I did this once I scraped my car on a wall accidentally not long after we were married and my exh lost his rag at me shouted and swore then drove dangerously when we had to use his car to go out later that evening. It was an indication of the type of behaviour to come. Trouble was it was the same sort of reaction that I was used from my father if we did anything wrong so I didn't recognise it as abusive behaviour. It's not good op. Please don't tolerate that sort of behaviour from him.

You should never have to work up to telling your husband something like that.

Nobody should live in fear. You deserve better than that.

Exh told me I would never pass a test... Took me 8 times to pass such was his voice in my head... I actually wrote off my car in June. Head on crash not my fault.. Current dh was there asap with nothing but support... A crisis however small and how it is handled says a lot about a relationship imo.

Mine would say “oh no” go and look at it and work out if he was able to sort it. He certainly wouldn’t shout at me or give me the silent treatment

He's abusive OP. I hope you can leave him. 💐

Mine would give me a hug. I’m sorry yours hasn’t done that. It’s an accident and these things happen.

Silent treatment is an abusive behaviour.

My DH would be devastated as his car is his baby, but he wouldn't be a dick about it, if I had it booked in before he even knew about it he would then check he liked where it was booked and tease me endlessly about it until the day I die, he would be anxious until it was visibly fixed, but I am pretty certain as much as he loves his car he wouldn't shout or show any anger towards me, he's not like that. But yes he'd be pretty gutted and I can't speak for what would go on in his head! But ultimately the only reason I have to drive his car is because we have to preserve the mileage on it which means he commutes in my car and I school run in his! So he knows he has to be patient (as I have scraped the wheels...)

I think I'm starting to realise his behaviours arent normal but he is very convincing in his defence and also I don't know any other men that aren't the same so it's hard to judge...

He'd be fine if it was my car or joint car that I was going to sort. If it was his car he might be a bit grumpy (as would i if he damaged my car) but not for long because bearing a grudge over it doesn't change anything. We'd discuss the practicalities of getting it sorted then forget about it.

My dad however would have absolutely blown his top and ranted and fumed for days. Then brought it up in every argument for years after. And he wonders why we (me mum and sister) don't confide in him.