How would your spouse/partner react if...

[Dinodrivingacar]

You accidentally reversed your car into a wall and caused some scratches to the bumper? Then went to some garages to price up quotes and get booked in. You will pay for repairs. For info, it's a fairly new and decent car.

I assume that means he's talking to you again @Dinodrivingacar ?

Has he apologised for his abusive behaviour? How are you feeling about your relationship?

I think his Christmas present should be divorce papers (light hearted), or at the very least therapy for his behaviour.
Hope you are ok.

That is NOT a normal reaction at all.

I think his Xmas present should be divorce papers (totally stone cold serious)

I'm enraged. He tried to end the silent treatment yesterday with another bollocking cos I went out without giving him a kiss. I told him it's not all on his terms and how was I supposed to know my punishment had ended and he wanted kissing. So then I got silent treatment again for the rest of the day. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Only thing he has said to me since is about the driving lessons.

Bloody hell, OP is it worth it?

Tell him that you're buying him the below for Christmas

https://www.wob.com/en-gb/books/david-richo/how-to-be-an-adult-in-relationships/9781611809541?cqsrc=googleeads&cqcmp=19658855488&cqqcon=&cqmed=pla&cqqplac=&cqnet=x&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-fm8iPvBggMVyeh3Ch1Tjw01EAQYAiABEgKjZZD_BwE#NPB9781611809541

What positivity does he bring to your life?

I would be enraged too if my DH gave me the silent treatment. Although he doesn't because he isn't a giant man baby.

I, after 35 years of driving, due to peri,failed to put he handbrake on the car and husband came home to find it had rolled back and knocked a wall sideways. He told me, I cried mostly in disappointment at myself. He said don't worry and we got it booked in at the garage. We both know , each of us has messed up over 30 years of marriage and caused wasted money. We all make mistakes we can't change. After that we carried on with normal conversation. I forgive him , he forgives me , you deserve the same op.

I did this before, he just sjrugged and said I know a good garage

OP this is abusive, you do realise that? The silent treatment is an abusive control tactic. He's not just being "childish", it's not that light and you shouldn't treat it like it is. Second the divorce papers for Christmas, also stone cold serious.

In 17 years my husband has never once given me the silent treatment. Even when I reversed his car into and absolutely demolished our garden wall, and decimated his beloved tulips. He just laughed at me and continues to call me Wrecking Ball to this day.

It's not supposed to be like this. You're worthy of better; and peace, respect and happiness in your marriage.

I scraped and dented my new car. My OH said "make sure you buy some paint and touch it up so it doesn't rust". No big deal. If I'd got the reaction you had, I'd be moving out and ending it!

Mines would probably have laughed, then a bit later tried to helpfully mansplain to me various ways on how to not hit walls 🤣

I think my dh would be mildly pissed off and probably exasperated. I wouldn't get silent treatment for days though.

If yours is getting you driving lessons just ask him if it's the same teacher he used following the numerous bumps and scratches he has made to his car ? Then you can be equally courteous in letting him know that you have booked him some lessons on not to be a sulky hypocritical man child... its also called counselling and he is in desperate need of learning how to 'adult'.

Op you are married to an abuser. I'm so sorry.

My DH's response to all accidents is FFS. Flies off the handle. I have learnt to ignore and walk away .

Both me and my wife have bumped and scraped all of our cars at one time or the other and all that happens is that I see if it will T-cut out, or if it's plastic, pour boiling water on, until it pops out.

We've had a couple of wings repainted and one bonnet, after it was keyed to the metal at Cragside National Trust, which was - unexpected.

The only time we've argued about it it was when she knocked a post over and tried to blame me, when we got out!

He would say 'don't worry, easily done' then find a way of fixing it.

Yes, my first thought is, "Is everyone OK? Good, it's a bit of metal, which can be fixed."

Everyone with a car scrapes it at some point, there's no use getting angry about it.

This is not ok, you deserve so much better.
I hope you can start on a path towards a better future 💐

He's abusive and unkind to you over a mistake, it's really noticeable that you seemed to be worried to tell him about it as well - you don't need to live like this