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Original poster

What are your definitions of vanilla vs kinky!

101 replies

GlamGiraffe · 12/12/2022 22:34

Id be fascinated to know people's thoughts on this!

I've always thought my relationship was quite vanilla, however conversations with a couple of friends (like you do) have said they think I've had a kinky marriage

What do you think counts as generally vanilla compared to kinky.?

Ps long term member not a ţroll!

OP posts:
Penaltyshootoutfan · 12/12/2022 22:36

Vanilla is a feather, kinky is the whole chicken

honestly you can just google this lol if you want a thrill

DramaAlpaca · 12/12/2022 22:38

As you're a long term member, you'll know the Sex topic is that way ---->

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 12/12/2022 22:40
Xmas Biscuit
wlwkei · 12/12/2022 22:42

DramaAlpaca · 12/12/2022 22:38

As you're a long term member, you'll know the Sex topic is that way ---->

Quite

Original poster
GlamGiraffe · 12/12/2022 22:55

I actually thought it was a general cheat topic imo. Although sex related it's something I'd consider general chit chat.
It can be confirmed I've been an active member for years, just search me or ask mn
@MNHQ, Please confirm I'm a long term member and move the post of necessary.
Sorry for offence cause d @DramaAlpaca @Penaltyshootoutfan @dickiedavisthunderthighs

OP posts:
Original poster
GlamGiraffe · 12/12/2022 22:57

Google doesn't help add its a subjective matter with a varying scale.

OP posts:
ArcticSkewer · 12/12/2022 23:03

in a long term marriage? Kinky would be multiple threesomes or moresomes. Sex club visits or fetish nights. Possibly pegging although that's more mainstream these days. Dogging.

Vanilla would be s+m at home with just partner, homemade videos (either for self or streamed anonymously), anal.

Long term marriages get really dull otherwise. I'd expect it went beyond missionary or else both would have died of sheer boredom

ArcticSkewer · 12/12/2022 23:04

vanilla might be anything one off eg 'oooh we had a threesome once'

TinFoilHatty · 12/12/2022 23:07

The sex topic is where you can all whap one out in peace, it is over there <points>

PacificallyRequested · 12/12/2022 23:07

Vanilla would be s+m at home with just partner, homemade videos (either for self or streamed anonymously), anal.

I'd say all of that was kinky.

TinFoilHatty · 12/12/2022 23:08

ArcticSkewer · 12/12/2022 23:04

vanilla might be anything one off eg 'oooh we had a threesome once'

I adore your username, most excellent.

JamSandle · 12/12/2022 23:09

What's vanilla and what's kinky is very individual and subjective I think.

ArcticSkewer · 12/12/2022 23:10

PacificallyRequested · 12/12/2022 23:07

Vanilla would be s+m at home with just partner, homemade videos (either for self or streamed anonymously), anal.

I'd say all of that was kinky.

yeah, it's all just very individual I guess. I just think a long marriage is really dull otherwise so it's just normal rather than kinky to try most stuff, just you and a partner at home.

pigonalipstick · 12/12/2022 23:11

Wow I wouldn't say anal is kinky. But OP if you're legit why not tell us what it is that made your friends react?

Lockheart · 12/12/2022 23:12

Everyone and every relationship is different. As long as everyone involved is happy and consenting there's no right or wrong answer.

BloodAndFire · 12/12/2022 23:13

Using an exclamation mark instead of a question mark isn't so much kinky as sickeningly perverted.

Stichintime · 12/12/2022 23:16

Vanilla, a hand job... kinky, a blow job. But really I'm sure you can work this stuff out yourself!

CherryRipe1 · 12/12/2022 23:20

Where do you draw the line between a bit of slap n tickle/hanky panky to full on leather or rubber gimp suits, gags and suspension bondage etc? As another poster said as long as safe, sane and consensual.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/12/2022 23:21

I think the whole concept is repulsive. Judging (and it is judging, in both directions) sex is a really bad idea. Something is either consented to freely and enthusiastically, or it isn't. Whether that's what everyone is doing or just you.

If you and your partner are happy, who the fuck cares what MNers think?

Original poster
GlamGiraffe · 12/12/2022 23:27

@pigonalipstick my best friend was talking about a man she'd met at work -not in relationship terms, and how he was really kinky as he liked dressing up,just Ann summers type costumes not s+m gear and how this was very kinky. I thought it was pretty standard. Another friend said something similar, so I wondered if this was generally representative. I'm not talking about bdsm or bondage etc.

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 12/12/2022 23:45

Vanilla is a feather, kinky is the whole chicken

Yes!

Alternatively, vanilla is just undoing one or two toggles; kinky is removing the entire duffel coat.

Mrspatmoressouffle · 12/12/2022 23:47

I’d have most of mumsnet clutching their pearls and claiming I should leave my partner if I said some of the stuff I get up to, OP.

I accept that my kinks are really quite extreme but blowjobs being kinky as a PP suggested is ludicrous in my eyes

Peggingsoundsgross · 12/12/2022 23:47

I don’t think a blow job is kinky 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think I’m very vanilla as the thought of pegging or even anal is pretty gross to me. Not arsed about dressing up or haven’t used toys etc…even when younger…guess I’m very boring 🙈🤣

Mydogatemypurse · 12/12/2022 23:47

I was vanilla throughout my marriage, infact not even interested. Now... i love it, have experienced so much

Peggingsoundsgross · 12/12/2022 23:48

@Mydogatemypurse What changed?

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