My friend thinks she's French

[CleghornLeghorn]

I have this friend, i've known her on and off for years, one of those let's do lunch once a year types.

Anyway, we decided that we'd do lunch yesterday as both our calendars aligned. She turned up and i shit you not, speaking with some mental half French half English accent. I just sort of went with it as it was so bizarre I had no idea what the hell to say to it. She even made reference to drinking wine with lunch ''like they do at home, you know in Paris'' ... it was the oddest thing.

Anyway, after the most bizarre lunch of my life, I called a mutual friend and apparently this has gone on for the past 8 months - she pretends to be French. She has even at one point shaved her eyebrows off and drawn them back in like Edith Piaf, she wears bateau neckline striped tops and cycles around town with baguettes in her basket.

At least she's got over her ''I'm Claire from Steps phase though'' - would you go NC? this is mental.

No, you must not go NC with her. You must continue to meet her for lunch once a year and then report back! She sounds fantastic value.

This is where self-id takes you.
I wonder if she can apply for an EU passport based on "identifying as French". 😂

Did she... actually think she really was Claire from Steps, in the same way she now believes she's suddenly French???

I don't think she's even been to France in her life🤔

That's brilliant! 😂😂😂

no, so she wasn't quite as certain about it but she used to tell people she was Claire from Steps, despite not looking like her at all and being 10 years younger than her.

I too think she's fantastic value

Frankly I've started to embrace my inner weirdo recently and worn some quite mad outfits

Once a year is not enough. If you could see your way to meeting quarterly I'd be here waiting for an update.

I feel the baguette/breton top detail made this entirely unbelievable.

That sounds hilarious (or irritating, it depends). I used to know a massive white guy with dreadlocks who everyone called “Jamaican Al”. I’d assumed he was a white Jamaican but then found out that he’d never been there - he’d just started putting on the accent and then never lost it.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=uRfRaSSjsa0

Gosh it would surely be worth learning some French to speak to her, pretending you fully expect her to understand it all. Perhaps you could even learn the words to Steps songs in French and say them to her like they're just normal conversation.

Well, I'll be honest with you, Breton tops and bateau necklines make a pleasant change from the ubiquitous polyester floral monstrosities and white trainers that everyone else is wearing. Please tell me that she wears a beret.

No, you must play her at her own game and turn up dressed in full Mexican poncho

She sounds like she may need help though.

Carrying her croissants 🥐

Has she ever believed that she might be Hilaria Baldwin?

She sounds fabulous although possibly psychotic.

How could not question her?

Is she unwell? She really used to tell people she was Claire from steps, that's just odder than a box of frogs 🐸

The baguette thing pushed it over the edge for me, sorry op 🤔😂

I’m going to channel my inner Alan Partridge here and ask whether she chomps on onions and goes haw-he-haw-he-haw?

Naughty! 🐸

Oh, it's harmless enough! She's just having a laugh.

Sacre bleu

I'm mostly irritated by the term 'our calendars aligned' my god.

I love her! What an imagination she must have. Most of us lose this after ten years of age so she is something special.😁😯

Can you meet her for lunch again tomorrow?