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My friend thinks she's French

182 replies

CleghornLeghorn · 01/06/2022 19:22

I have this friend, i've known her on and off for years, one of those let's do lunch once a year types.

Anyway, we decided that we'd do lunch yesterday as both our calendars aligned. She turned up and i shit you not, speaking with some mental half French half English accent. I just sort of went with it as it was so bizarre I had no idea what the hell to say to it. She even made reference to drinking wine with lunch ''like they do at home, you know in Paris'' ... it was the oddest thing.

Anyway, after the most bizarre lunch of my life, I called a mutual friend and apparently this has gone on for the past 8 months - she pretends to be French. She has even at one point shaved her eyebrows off and drawn them back in like Edith Piaf, she wears bateau neckline striped tops and cycles around town with baguettes in her basket.

At least she's got over her ''I'm Claire from Steps phase though'' - would you go NC? this is mental.

OP posts:
viques · 01/06/2022 20:08

AdaColeman · 01/06/2022 20:03

Well, I think she sounds fantastique! What fun she must be having, tres drôle!
Camembert pour déjeuner, lashings of vin rouge, chic clothes, what's not to like?

You are making me remember the episode of AbFab when they turned up at a French farmhouse……..

Onwards22 · 01/06/2022 20:08

No, you must not go NC with her. You must continue to meet her for lunch once a year and then report back! She sounds fantastic value.

Yes!!!
😂😂

You are a better person than me OP.
I would have asked her exactly what she was doing and why she was speaking with an accent when she never has before.

Onwards22 · 01/06/2022 20:09

You could do a Joey from friends and start speaking French back at her (but not actually French).

HousePlantLandlord · 01/06/2022 20:10

FetchezLaVache · 01/06/2022 19:24

No, you must not go NC with her. You must continue to meet her for lunch once a year and then report back! She sounds fantastic value.

100%. She’s gold.

noirchatsdeux · 01/06/2022 20:10

I'd be really annoyed if any of my friends did this...because I am half French (French father).

Suppose it makes a change from being hated, though.

IDreamOfTheMoors · 01/06/2022 20:11

Mumoftwoinprimary · 01/06/2022 19:33

Has she ever believed that she might be Hilaria Baldwin?

That’s brilliant, @Mumoftwoinprimary 😂😂😂

You mean, Hillary???

ShirleyPhallus · 01/06/2022 20:11

Does she speak French or just let the funky music do the talking?

Phobiaphobic · 01/06/2022 20:12

She sounds completely mental. But perhaps worth having around for the sheer entertainment value.

Peoniesandcream · 01/06/2022 20:13

Sounds like a mental health problem...

Eightiesfan · 01/06/2022 20:14

This is priceless! Please start arranging weekly lunch dates and report back to us. I’m sure if you set up a crowdfunding page, we will all contribute to your costs. 🤣

Pieceofpurplesky · 01/06/2022 20:14

Please let this be real, if it's not it would be une tragédie

KirstenBlest · 01/06/2022 20:14

Is her name Marie?

IstayedForTheFeminism · 01/06/2022 20:15

She sounds brave and stunning and should be supported to be her true authentic self.

Or something.

ancientgran · 01/06/2022 20:15

CruCru · 01/06/2022 19:29

That sounds hilarious (or irritating, it depends). I used to know a massive white guy with dreadlocks who everyone called “Jamaican Al”. I’d assumed he was a white Jamaican but then found out that he’d never been there - he’d just started putting on the accent and then never lost it.

I grew up in a very multicultural area and one of the things we found hilarious was boys we went to school with and who had the local accent suddenly started speaking in a Jamaican patois at about 14 or 15. It was very bizarre.

zafferana · 01/06/2022 20:18

This thread made me laugh so much I just had a coughing fit all over the cat 😂

LocalHobo · 01/06/2022 20:18

A fellow school mum had a French DH and her DS had a French name. I assumed she was also French from her accent and the pronunciation of her name. Turned out she was from Liverpool.
I thought this was a unique situation but obviously not.

TreePoser · 01/06/2022 20:23

Oh very Hilary Baldwinita
I wonder what the psychology behind this is. It's fascinating really.
It's like acknowledging that the version of you other people see is too boring so you try and project a fictional version on to them and don't quite grasp that they know it's not TRUE

MissyB1 · 01/06/2022 20:24

Next time you see her try to slip in
“Good moaning”
”I shall zay this only once”
”are we aloon?”

dropthevipers · 01/06/2022 20:25

Afrodizzyak · 01/06/2022 19:46

I love her! What an imagination she must have. Most of us lose this after ten years of age so she is something special.😁😯

Yep. Stark staring bonkers is what she is.

TroysMammy · 01/06/2022 20:25

I'm visualising a cafe scene from 'Allo 'Allo.

Eightiesfan · 01/06/2022 20:26

KirstenBlest · 01/06/2022 20:14

Is her name Marie?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ameanstreakamilewide · 01/06/2022 20:27

ArtVandalay · 01/06/2022 19:29

I feel the baguette/breton top detail made this entirely unbelievable.

Yep.

All she's missing is wearing a stripey top, topped with a string of onions.
🇫🇷 🧅 🚲

adhdforme · 01/06/2022 20:27

How could you make it through lunch and not ask her WTF is up with her accent? 😂

Could you please ask her over to yours for a Jubilee street party this weekend so you can update this thread? To one up her on the accent front I recommend you speaking in a very 'Queens English' accent 😂 You can always say it's in hour of the jubilee.

On a highly unlikely note - has she been in a car accident recently? Perhaps she's developed 'Foreign Accent Syndrome'. It's a real thing apparently....

www.healthline.com/health/foreign-accent-syndrome

TyrannosaurusRegina · 01/06/2022 20:28

Well we do live in a period of time where you can identify as anything and it must be accepted 🤷‍♀️

She sounds brilliant though 😂

Teael · 01/06/2022 20:28

She sounds wonderful, OP! Let her be her true authentic self!