Terrible Christmas present ideas.

[samidolls]

Every year my cousin and I try to buy each other the worst Christmas presents we can think of. It all started about 15 years ago with a calendar - her majesty's prisons of Great Britain.

Since then there have been many others:
Nicholas cage cushion
Pat butcher wall clock
A vomit scented candle
A giant wearable pugs head
A membership to a dogging club (fake!) to welcome his new wife to the family
Reindeer threesome hat
Eagle/wolf underwear
Etc

Anyway I need inspiration this year! We all have kids now so I'm trying to stay on the clean side of things, but anything weird or wonderful you could recommend?!

cat's bum tea towel holder

My brother bought my son a worm farm one christmas. You had to layer soil and then dig up some worms in the garden and watch them mix the soil up.

Or a Vladimir Putin calendar

My parents once gave my then-6 year old a roll of parcel tape because he was always using all the tape in the house for junk modelling everything from the recycling bin. I swear it was his best present...

I just find it all so wasteful.
Why actively buy something that’s going to end up in landfill?

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba For the love of god please tell me this is a joke and no such thing exists ?

My )late) MIL once bought me a candle snuffer.........

@HazelandChacha

I just find it all so wasteful. Why actively buy something that’s going to end up in landfill?

The recipient is just as likely to use a Cliff Richard calendar as one with other pictures, and will gleefully wear the socks with their sister's face on. Giving a terrible present is no more wasteful than any other.

Inflatable zimmer frame, for if he's ever needing some support.

Mystical unicorns gin liqueur from Home Bargains. It's pink and sparkly, and I think it's meant to taste like candyfloss. (It didn't.)

Partially used bar of soap, ideally a bit cracked and grubby and with some hairs embedded in it.

DH and I do charity shop shit for Christmas, its great fun. The rules are, £10 to get as much shit as possible, has to be from a charity shop and bought in December.

Its a win win because most of it ends up back in the charity shops, in the bin or some we do keep, like the proper fondue set and its a good laugh trying to out do each other!

I managed to buy a black and white minstrels record one year. We happily threw that in the bin but I was so embarrassed buying it!!!@

Personalised toilet roll. toiletface.co.uk/product/personalised-toilet-paper/ What a bargain at £7.89 + p and p! Personalise a toilet roll with a photo and a message up to 100 characters.

I just find it all so wasteful.
Why actively buy something that’s going to end up in landfill?

My last comment was in reply to that. Worst case scenario is that it lands up in landfill, but the charity still gets some money too!

You need this - hot priests of the Vatican calendar 😂

calendarioromano.org/

Surely that encourages vow breaking?

Top of everyone's Christmas list

I agree this is all horribly wasteful but if you're having fun with it.....

My suggestion is the polo mint jigsaw which I strangely want even though it's really £2.69 for a bashed up packet of polos.

A secondhand copy of Michael Aspel’s Supersaver Cookbook.

Embroidered toilet roll

Scorpion lollipops or a tub of Carolina Reaper chillis

My dad and my secret santa (DP family) are getting a polo mint jigsaw.

Love it.

This

www.redbubble.com/i/throw-pillow/Ainsley-by-FlyNebula/23142985.5X2YF

I want to buy the hot priests one so badly for a shall remain unnamed very religious person