Terrible Christmas present ideas.

[samidolls]

Every year my cousin and I try to buy each other the worst Christmas presents we can think of. It all started about 15 years ago with a calendar - her majesty's prisons of Great Britain.

Since then there have been many others:
Nicholas cage cushion
Pat butcher wall clock
A vomit scented candle
A giant wearable pugs head
A membership to a dogging club (fake!) to welcome his new wife to the family
Reindeer threesome hat
Eagle/wolf underwear
Etc

Anyway I need inspiration this year! We all have kids now so I'm trying to stay on the clean side of things, but anything weird or wonderful you could recommend?!

Gregg Wallace's autobiography

A giant photo pillow with your face on!

@MarshmallowsOnToast
🤣

I was gonna suggest "Girls and Corpses", but OP wants it child friendly.
look up "weirdest magazines".
There's one called "Serial Killers" 😳

@Twinstudy 😂😂😂😂

Mug with your face on!

A set of glittery acrylic nails from Superdrug.

What about a Christmas planning book?
It’ll be completely useless by Christmas Day but might be of use next year so not a complete waste of money all together.

(The thought of spending money on something that is going to be laughed at and thrown away within minutes brings me out in hives. It’s the tight Yorkshire woman in me.)

@foxychox you win!! Brilliant idea 🤣🤣 best hurry getting one of those last 15!

Hive cream

a box of Ferrero Rocher but replace each chocolate with something else: crunched up toilet paper, Brussels sprouts, lump of mud, pebble, a hairball etc

a copy of "Mein Kampf"

If he is an avid football supporter, then a football-related item of clothing from just about any other random club you can think of. The more unlikely the better.

I bought someone some batteries and the packaging said "gift not included" for some reason I found it hilarious.

The gift of nothing

If money is no object OP, you could get that beautiful 12 days of christmas centre piece thats on Ebay and crops up on here every year (the chap hasn't sold it yet, can't think why)

One year a friend gave us dog poo bags with Trump's face on them and "Dumps for Trump" underneath as a gag gift. We thought they were brilliant and gleefully used them everywhere.

I don't want to Google 'G Paltrow's vag candle', but someone please tell me that is NOT a real thing!! Or at the least, that it's not what it sounds like!

It is a real thing......

There must be plenty of discounted Trump merchandise.

@Nidan2Sandan

Lynx Africa giftset, I can't think of a worse present

Really? My husband says that it's not Christmas unless he receives one of these.

And some undies.

Tweed by Lentheric.
Or L'Aimant

a bag of random stuff you've recently decluttered.
the more broken and useless the better

@Theunamedcat

You can actually buy a crapping dog calendar

Who the fuck??

And a crapping cat one... 🤷‍♀️🐈‍⬛💩

I may get the cat one for my neighbour. She has three cats who believe our lawn is their toilet.

My children gave my brother this t shirt last year for his birthday.

Unisex 3D Funny Printed T-Shirt Mens Summer Graphic Short Sleeve Tee Shirts Tops www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07TBCK481/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_2C2XPSE91JN2K28Q6RNB

Its a bit special.

try again!