Mushroom. Fucking. Risotto.

[CompleteBarstool]

We're on a rare trip away, been looking forward to it for ages especially about having some lovely food.

Now I discover tonight's veggie option is mushroom risotto. Mushroom. Fucking. Risotto.

What's the meal that makes your heart sink?

I once had to have the vegetarian 'option' that was turnip crumble. It was disgusting.

Everyone else got a proper hearty stew. I got bits of turnip under a sweet crumble topping. As a main course. It was mad.

Stuffed peppers
Fake meat/meatless anything (don’t get me started on the demise of the proper bean burger)
Jackfruit
Mushroom burgers (love mushrooms but who wants a big sloppy undercooked slab like that)

On the other hand I love tofu, a proper bean burger, veggie lasagne, cauliflower, butternut squash and goats cheese.

@Geamhradh
Haha. A cauliflower steak is exactly what you're thinking it is/hoping it isn't! A slice of cauliflower usually roasted.

Trouble is OP, most people are meat eaters. Therefore, if you want a wide range of food to choose from, either go to a vegetarian restaurant or eat meat 🤷‍♀️

@Kanaloa i did buffalo mozzarella or parma ham with fennel roasted grapes (incredibly pointless, would not bother again), the apparently dreaded linguine with tomato sauce and cherry sorbet and salted caramel almond milk ice cream. I’m part Italian so am used to pasta being a nice dish for a lunch together and to be honest just wanted a fun lunch with friends!

By which I mean my inclination was to make something ridiculously fancy but had to keep reminding myself my friends would be happy if fed and watered so stop trying to be Ottolenghi and plonk some pasta down there n that situation 😄

Mushroom risotto is fine, but boring. It’s something I make often at home exactly to my own taste and at virtually no cost, so not what I want to have when eating out.

My personal nomination here is vegan dishes made with fake meat and fake cheese. Except for places that are actually going all out for junk food for vegans (and this has its place), I find this utterly lazy. Making pizza with vegan cheese, for example. It’s crap and does not melt but reverts to oil. Please can we have more vegan pizzas actually made with interesting vegetables! It can be done - there is somewhere near me that always offers multiple flavours with no pretend stuff in sight. Everywhere else, it’s a marinara or processed fake crap.

@Geamhradh

Wtf is a cauliflower steak? (I'm in Italy so mushroom risotto would be pretty good tbf, the first vegetarian meal I was offered was a ball of mozzarella rolling round a huge plate with boiled cabbage on the side- as others have said, we've come s long way, but. )

On a Greek island I explained to a cafe owner I was vegetarian and would like a cheese salad.

I was brought an entire plate of white cheese followed by a whole (massive) raw white onion and 3 green olives.

Mushroom anything. I'm a vegetarian too and it's a pain but I just can't stomach them. It's a texture thing. I had something with a porcini sauce that was blitz up and it was bloody delicious.

Could be worse, when I lived in France and Spain I ended up paying for very expensive green salads more often than not because there was nothing vegetarian on the menu.

@GrrRightBackAtYou your story about Malaysian airlines reminds of my flight to Thailand with Emirates.

They treated all veggies to the delicious vegan option and whilst my DH and DDs got a mid flight cream tea, I got…a raw carrot. I’m not kidding.

Please can we have more vegan pizzas actually made with interesting vegetables! It can be done - there is somewhere near me that always offers multiple flavours with no pretend stuff in sight.

I just ask for a veggie one with no cheese on. That’s never been a problem anywhere I’ve been.

My MiL's Sunday dinners....2 pm, overcooked everything, package gravy.

My FiL's fry ups - granted all that grease makes them slip down easily...(I swear the eggs were deep fried)

My mother's idea of spaghetti - boiled to death pasta reheated in tomato soup.

@allthegoodusernameshavegone

So sorry op, my dinners gonna be vegetable tagine with fruity cous cous and feta parcels on the side. I can’t wait

What time shall I be there? I'll bring a pud

That’s pizza minus an ingredient though. I’m thinking of pizzas designed without meat and dairy. The pizzeria near me has done white pizzas with courgette pesto or mushroom-based sauces in the place of tomato, for example. Utterly gorgeous, different from the usual, nothing taken away.

Also, I’m lazy and if ordering by app I want to be able to select from what’s there. There are loads of pizza places delivering with extensive vegan selections - all of which replicate the rest of the menu, but with fake cheese, etc.

That’s pizza minus an ingredient though

How would that be any different if it were just listed without cheese on the menu? Last time I was at pizza express I had the Veneziana with no cheese. I’d have ordered it off the vegan menu with all the same ingredients and no cheese listed. It was really lovely.

I agree that just substituting vegan cheese for proper cheese isn’t a great option. I don’t really see how changing the tomato sauce for something different makes things better.

All the talk of pizza has just reminded me that Prezzo do (or at least did as it was a couple of years ago now) a lovely vegan pizza. A friend had it and I tried some.

It's making me hungry thinking about it.

I love mushrooms and don't mind a risotto but I don't like carb heavy dishes . I wish more places would do just wonderfully cooked vegetables . I absolutely loath sweet potato .

Cauliflower steak. Sprinkle it with whatever you like mate it’s a slice of cauliflower.

I was on a group trip in France once - Lourdes back in the days when I wasn't a prolapsed Catholic - and breakfast was fine but every other meal, I mean absolutely every single one, was a runny omelette. I like omelettes, I make them when I want a quick meal that is nutritious and tasty, but I went off them for a long time after that trip.

I like both Spain and Italy when it comes to being a veggie. So many choices and all so bloody tasty. I holidayed in Italy when I was a veggie. Ten days and with the food and way too much gelato I put on half a stone!

Goats cheese 🤮
And yes, most quiches are a grim slab of cold egg.

As a vegan, it's anything with cauliflower. I can't bloody stand it. Especially when it is the main feature of a dish.

When the vegan option is just some vegetables. Even worse is when the offending vegetable mush costs the same as the other main menu items. It’s really not that hard to use tofu, seitan, tempeh, soya chicken… If a place can’t be fucked to dream up a decent vegan menu item then I’ll either steer clear of it or just order a drink and/or some chips.

You see this less now, I think, but veggie/vegan burgers always being served in a wholemeal bun!?!?! Why?? And I like brown bread!

I’m veggie. Goat’s cheese is the Devil’s smegma as far as I’m concerned. 😟

I too groan inwardly when I see a mushroom risotto as the vegetarian option. So boring and usually badly done.

Also vegetable curry.

Most of the time I end up ordering ham, egg and chips without the ham ( which will instantly out me to anyone who knows me in real life!)

This is the veggie menu of a hotel we sometimes stay at, some options are more inspired than others but there is plenty of choice and the pasta is delicious.