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Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

500 replies

aurynne · 18/05/2020 07:59

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

OP posts:
NerforMuffin · 18/05/2020 11:12

Yes.
Several Blush

MaeDanvers · 18/05/2020 11:15

Nah. There’s some stuff I’d probably not enjoy seeing trending on Twitter or something but it wouldn’t ruin my life or anyone else’s. I k ow a couple of people who do have that sort of secret though and it’s made them quite arseholish - I guess because they fear exposure or something. Which I’d not do.

ConnellTheUnicorn · 18/05/2020 11:15

Yes, several. But I can't think of how they would come back to haunt me unless I became famous. So I guess I better not.

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Classicbrunette · 18/05/2020 11:16

Yes I have and have had several dark secrets. One of which came to light and made my life better.

Scruffyoak · 18/05/2020 11:16

Yes

Simonfromharlow · 18/05/2020 11:17

I have some things I'd prefer people not to know but wouldn't call them dark secrets

houseplantlover · 18/05/2020 11:21

Yep

shockthemonkey · 18/05/2020 11:22

Fascinating thread.

Maggie, were it to happen, by the time you got dementia nobody would believe you!

No dark secrets personally, but like many people I am terribly selective about who I share certain things from my past.

Rightbutno · 18/05/2020 11:24

No
I've done things I regret or were mistakes. (Mainly from when I was younger) Or that I think are fine but other people might not! But nothing my partner doesn't know. And mostly nothing my sis and best friend don't know. Certainly nothing life ruining just slightly embarrassing if everyone knew.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 18/05/2020 11:26

No, I'm an open book, things I've done in the past that could become 'shameful secrets', I just tell people about and then 'poof', it's gone, it has no power over my life, I've set it free.

I'm a very strong believer in a 'no secrets or shame' attitude to life, it's very liberating.

thegreylady · 18/05/2020 11:26

I have a couple of things I am ashamed of in my past but nothing life ruining .

Connie222 · 18/05/2020 11:28

Yes

Connie222 · 18/05/2020 11:30

@madcatladyforever this is why dementia terrifies me. I used to work with people with dementia (young and old) and some of them told thing from their past which made their families never see them again (obviously things that were often wondered about or made sense when the person said them so it definitely wasn’t a flight of fancy).

MaggieAndHopey · 18/05/2020 11:35

@shockthemonkey do you know, I hadn't considered that! You've made me feel a bit better.

riotlady · 18/05/2020 11:43

Yes and no. I have a “dark secret” in that something horrible happened to me and very few IRL people know because I don’t like talking about it. But it wouldn’t ruin lives if it came out or materially change anything, it would just be upsetting.

Besom · 18/05/2020 11:48

I feel sad for people walking around with a lot of shame and guilt.

terrelontane · 18/05/2020 11:51

My darkest secret is that I keep a bottle of really good whisky in my office so that I only have to share the cheapo stuff with my DH, who can't tell the difference but always wants to drink what I'm drinking.

I also don't tell DH what I really think of his family members, as that would only cause him hurt and not be productive in any way.

HollowTalk · 18/05/2020 11:52

Oh I want to know all these secrets!

angelsonbareskin · 18/05/2020 11:54

Yes.

angelsonbareskin · 18/05/2020 11:56

It would probably ruin my life. which is why it will always be a secret.

Kelsoooo · 18/05/2020 11:59

I did.

A couple in fact.

They came out.

My life wasn't ruined. It was hard, and damaged and forever different. But not ruined.

In fact, I now look forward to my future in a way I have never done before.

At some point, the good I've done (and will continue to do) since will outweigh the bad I did.

Ninkanink · 18/05/2020 12:00

I have several things that are massive regrets. They are not actually big things at all but In my darker times I do feel some guilt. I always ask the universe for forgiveness, and try to send out positive vibes to redress the balance.

None of those things are bid enough to be a secret that could be ruinous, though. I doubt anyone would care as much as I do.

Notajogger · 18/05/2020 12:02

No. Embarrassing & stupid stuff when I was young but probably nothing out of the ordinary.

OhCaptain · 18/05/2020 12:05

I just tell people about and then 'poof', it's gone, it has no power over my life, I've set it free.

If I set mine free I could genuinely go to jail. At the very least it would 100% send other people to jail. Not that some don’t deserve it but some of us don’t!

Alittleshortforaspacepooper · 18/05/2020 12:05

I once had a really good sex dream about my DH's friend, and occasionally it pops into my head when I'm having alone time.

Is that interesting enough?

Fuck, middle age has really made me boring.