Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

[aurynne]

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

My biggest "secret" isn't that much of one. I was abused by my uncle for a number of years. My GPs are aware but not to the full extent. My partner knows and is fully supportive. After lockdown, I am going to see my GPs and then I'm going to the Police. I hope it destroys his life and I don't care if it takes his family with him. I've lived with it long enough and now it's his turn. I want him to be scared of that knock on the door. I have nothing to be ashamed of and I'm ready for the consequences.

Yes

Oh I have several! Nothing that would ruin my life (or anyone else's I don't think) but things I'm ashamed of and wouldn't want people knowing.

All done when I was grieving the death of my fiancé) ☹️

@Mulderitssme so sorry you went through this x

I’ve got one from when I was a child. I was sexually abused on a sleepover at a friend’s house aged about 10 and later ridiculed about it by this ‘friend’ in front of our classmates. I’m now a teacher and we had our annual safeguarding training in September where we were informed that peer on peer sexual abuse was now considered to be in its own category. It brought it all flooding back. I’ve never told my parents as it’d really upset them and it was so long ago I mostly don’t think about it.

Do you all know this has been picked up by the Daily Mail and now some of your secrets are being broadcast in mainstream media?

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8340679/Woman-inundated-confessions-people-hiding-terrible-secrets.html

Let's sue for copyright infringement. Lazy fuckers!

Well least it will make a nice change for the DM readers from reading about bloody Covid 24/7.

Yes, I have a terrible secret.

Before getting married to my beautiful wife 22 years ago and having 4 children, I did work as an escort to fund my drug habit, which was also a secret.

From being a latin escort to become a Latin man gay for pay was a no brainer at the time. I did fell in love with a man who treated me like rubbish and hit me constantly.

One day I decided I had enough of drugs booze and being a male prostitute. Went to college trained to become a chef, got a job, met a lady from the head office of my restaurant chain, she liked me straight away, we fell in love and married 4 years later when she got knocked up.

Apart from the fact I'm 50 but look 65 nobody would guess what I did. I only remember those days when I see some famous famous people on TV I use to fuck very hard...

Yes. I used to write for the Daily Mail. Please don't tell my family.

@Brecon

yes

@Lockheart WTF?

DailyMail, I am not a British woman... At least you could get your few facts right. Apart from employing news writers who make a bit more of an effort to find news, that is.

@GoFiguire. I can't believe no one has commented on your revelation!!!

This is why I didn't put what my secrets are on here, someone always tries to make a 'quick buck' out of threads like this

I wonder what the pay is to cut and paste Mumsnet threads onto the DM website? Still get to put "journalist" on your CV as well. Nice work if you can get it?

I am a little surprised Take A Break hasn't trolled us harder. Maybe they have, and I just havent realised. I think the TaB staff may graft harder though.

@throwawaydefinitelyneeded if you don't want to be linked publicly you would do well to have your post deleted asap and not tell the story on the internet, given that the Daily Mail is publishing these posts.

throwawaydefinitelyneeded

This is a fascinating story. I think he may have wanted you as a ‘connection’ to the US. You’d have been his ticket. Whatever you did or didn’t do, was not the reason he did what he did. He was brainwashed into doing what he did and probably believed the atrocities he was connected with were necessary. There is no point trying to understand what they did. We are not wired the save way and won’t be able to make sense of it.

The Daily Fail will pick up the story though and splash it on their horrible rag in the name of ‘journalism’ so you would be better off removing your post if you don’t want that to happen. Rewrite it under another thread, changing details if you think it would help you to find some closure.

The Daily Mail are such wankers.

I wonder how many of these "secrets" are complete bullshit though.

What an extraordinary thing to be in the edges of. I would imagine the man you met was part of him but also that you were being used too. He will have grown up within that environment - in a different one he might have been very different.

No but I often have dreams that something life changing will happen to me and I will have to carry a secret forever, e.g for some reason I am having to dispose of a body! I think I watch too many of those tv shows/movies!

I was bullied as a teenager and it can make you feel very isolated and depressed.
I see that you are focused on how you feel now, but do you wonder about the impact on your victim?
It has not had a dramatic effect on my life afterwards (but it can do), but occasionally I do wonder if that person is doing the same thing in adult life (e.g. if I hear something on the news about bullying like today). I did see her and some of her cronies at a 10 year school reunion many years ago and I am annoyed that I did not have the courage to call her out and see her reaction. Would she deny it? (probably).
If you had some courage you could contact your victim and say sorry for what you did and explain why you did it. It may help her.
You may well also have had some of your own problems (e.g. family, abuse) that caused you to act so horribly, which you could also address.
Sorry if I am being personal, but I think your post was, too.

@NamesNamesSoManyNames
I was bullied as a teenager and it can make you feel very isolated and depressed.
I see that you are focused on how you feel now, but do you wonder about the impact on your victim?
It has not had a dramatic effect on my life afterwards (but it can do), but occasionally I do wonder if that person is doing the same thing in adult life (e.g. if I hear something on the news about bullying like today). I did see her and some of her cronies at a 10 year school reunion many years ago and I am annoyed that I did not have the courage to call her out and see her reaction. Would she deny it? (probably).
If you had some courage you could contact your victim and say sorry for what you did and explain why you did it.
You may well also have had some of your own problems (e.g. family, abuse) that caused you to act so horribly, which you could also address.
Sorry if I am being personal, but I think your post was, too.