Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

[aurynne]

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

[TwistinMyMelon]

I now have 3 echo dots in my house. Someone asked me if I was scared about privacy. If someone listened in on our conversations it would just be me a dd taking about poo. We lead the most boring lives ever. If I dropped dead tomorrow the most scandalous thing to be found in my house is a recycling bin slightly overflowing with wine bottles as I missed putting out the bins last week.

[JanewaysBun]

I accidentally broke my flat mate's straighteners age 18 (tbf she had left them under a desk) and didn't fess up as I didn't have any money to replace them!

[sashadjas]

@aurynne I'm not a "journo hunter", neither do I have any dungeon, and by not real I meant the question posed didn't sound real - I'm not such a technosaur that I thought you were an AI bot...it was the way the post was worded, that's all. And I did apologise for possibly being wrong, I was genuinely asking a brief question because it was easier. I'm so sorry to have caused offense, I'll just fuck off back to the journo hunter's dungeon I don't have cos, y'know, I'm not one...

[Maverick66]

Unfortunately ....Yes 😢

[kennyjenny]

Yes not my secret but my parents that would ruin someone's life. I think about it a lot and wish it would come out but I know it should be kept hidden.

[123Dancewithme]

Yes

[shinyhappypeeps]

definitely - but sometimes you need to exorcise the demons - especially when you realise your whole life you have been expected to act in a certain way and are perceived in a certain way by family/friends/co-workers...and the façade is suffocating you.

[Chipsahoy]

I was asked to keep a big one yesterday. That would tear our family apart.
I had years of hiding secrets but then told a therapist and eventually other people. Seems I'm back in the same boat except this time, this secret isn't mine.

[WearyandBleary]

Gosh yes I’ve got a few actually. From dark and stupid periods. I could have ended up in prison frankly. Certainly friendless.

Now I’m a fat middle aged housewife and no one would suspect....

[Namechangerextraordinaire1]

@JanewaysBun along the same vein, I agreed to help give my friend highlights with one of those cap things where you pull the hair through the holes and bleach it. This was years ago, we were only about 16 at the time. Being stupid teenagers we didnt really prepare much and she was wewrijg a brand new top. I accidentally bleached the back of it and didn't say a word. She mentioned it but didn't explicitly blame me and i pretended I had no idea how on earth it could have happened as it wasn't there when I had done her hair. I'm sure she knows it was me obviously not earth shattering or a deep dark secret, but yours reminded me of it so thought I'd share

[emilybrontescorsett]

I’m intrigued to know if anyone’s dark secret lies in protecting someone who has committed a serious crime. There must be people who know someone has or is involved in committing rape or murder but hasn’t come forward or has given a false alibi.

[Chipsahoy]

Reading over this, there is definitely some people who feel things are secret that actually I would just consider to be private. It's OK to not tell people about things you'd rather keep to yourself. Your past, your mental health etc.

[IncrediblySadToo]

No

I do wonder though if lots of people think their secrets are more important/life shattering than they really are 🤷🏻‍♀️

🌷to all of you whose 'secrets' are horrible things that happened TO you x

And 🌷to anyone whose 'secrets' keep them awake at night it in fear of their lives being shattered.

[Settle59]

Realistically, nothing that would ruin my life

[steppemum]

I am absolutely amazed at all these secrets.

I have nothing! The things I did as a student are so tame by today's standard.

I am assuming that they fall into veyr different categories though

1. I was an idiot when young and wouldn't want people to know now as I would be embarrassed. Things like drink/drug related things, partaking in an orgy etc.
   
2. very private things that I choose not to share and would be upset if they came out eg rape /incest/ abortion
   
3. illegal activities
   
4. things that effect others eg paternity of your kids
   
5. current infedelities (honestly can't see why an old infidelity with an ex is an issue now, unless it resulted in one of the kids not being theirs
   

I would love people to change names and just give a one sentence expanation, becuase I am astonished at the sheer number of people who have things to hide and I would love to know what sort of things we are talking about.

[Sittingontheveranda]

Maybe there is a deep seated sense of shame and regret for many? I am ashamed about something I did in two past relationships. Not illegal but I did hurt people very badly and I screwed up one of the relationships in particular.

[RickOShay]

My secret is something I did to somebody much more vulnerable than me. I could possibly have received a prison sentence. It’s awful.

[Sissymate2]

@DamnYankee

[chatnicknameyousuggested]

I work in a rather niche post in law, and any sinister secrets are flushed out pretty early on. To tell the truth, it's actually pretty surprising what you can own up to. However, anything slightly criminal and you are out. We are not allowed social media accounts as there could be a risk of inappropriacy or blackmail.
Not in the UK, by the way!

[heaveneggs]

Yes, I dated someone about 20 years ago that is now in prison for an abhorrent crime. Only one friend I have contact with now, knows this. I would absolutely not want my family, new friends or school parent friends to know this. I’m not sure if people from “back then” would realise it was the same person as crime is fairly recent.

[Summerofdespair20]

Nothing life changing, but I have plenty of friends with things they have confided, eg cheating on their husband/wife, I suspect a lot of people have that type of secret.

[ChesterDraws222]

I'm a compulsive liar.
Or at the very least I used to be. I catch myself thinking about saying ridiculous things and stop myself these days but DH believes some dark stuff about me that isn't true. I don't know why I do it and I'm ashamed of myself and really truly do hate myself for it, I think I'm just a bad person.

[NCagainwhenwhenwhen]

It probably depends on your job. I have done a few things that might not be great if published when I was Prime Minister, but otherwise no-one cares......