Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

[aurynne]

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

Nothing dark here, but there is one that is more embarrassing than anything that I keep to myself. A couple of errors of judgement from when I was a lot younger.

I have certainly had a lot of people confide in me about things that certainly would have rocked the boat in their lives. Mainly paternity, but also a couple of people (in different families) who have family (ie half brothers and sisters) who don't know they exist, some historic sexual abuse (told by the victims), wives who have accepted husbands after they have had affairs but the rest of their family isn't aware of the situation, and one case of incest (between consenting adults) that I am not going to go in to. Now I am in my fifties, life is a lot more boring than it used to be or people don't confide in me in such detail anymore!

@ShhhHush

Nothing I can say to that but my sympathy and

Hope he is not in your life, if so avoid him

Wow so many of you know dark secrets in your families/in other people's families. I can't think of a single dark secret I've got wind of!

I do have a couple about myself. I have one that would cause serious problems in my marriage. Plan to keep that to myself. Also one to do with my career that would make people think differently of me. Something that I sort of covered up, I put myself first and people would be shocked about the circumstances. Both several years ago so rarely cross my mind!

Thinking about it, I know a lot of women who, when splitting up with their boyfriend/husband/partner, have had sex one last time, even if they have new partners. It has always intrigued me. I'd say there is about a 90% rate of women doing the ending I have known do this. Don't know if it happens with men but they don't talk about it. I wondered if it was a 'pity shag' or something else (nostalgia?). It's not a really dark secret but it is their secret

Hell yes
A fair few things that would wobble my relationship
A couple that would end it
A few things that would shame me in my parent’s eyes
I will take them all to my grave, I hope

Yes but it took me many years to tell one of my closest friends and a few more years to tell the other two. My husband knows but never mentions it and my family don't know and never will. Lots of people have dark secrets and when I told one of my three close friends she shared a similar dark secret to me which has made a strong bond between us. That said the other two do not know about her secret. Life can be shit sometimes but I do believe it is true when they say - what does not kill you makes you stronger.

None here

My big secret is I fancy the chef Rick Stein who is nearly twice my age! Does that count?

Gym I fancy Jake Gyllenhaal who is 14 years younger than me! Almost young enough to be my son. I don't talk about it!!

Unfortunately yes I do

I think 75% will
But maybe a fifth of that biggish

I have had people confide but I guess the one lesson from fiction is be careful who you tell
Or better still tell nobody

No. I hate to lie or to live a lie. I am of course speaking of things I have control over. to those who have had suffered at the hands of others.

Unfortunately yes I do. There are some things that just by thinking of them, I go red.

ie red from shame. Nothing illegal but I behaved in ways I wished I hadn't.

Yes but it's not my secret to tell.It would destroy someone's life,ruin a family and a relationship and I'd be blamed by many for not telling said secret but I don't see the point as it's in the past,not illegal and everyone deserves a 2nd chance but mostly there is absolutely nothing to gain by opening my mouth other than causing heartache and misery.Ignorance really is bliss.

I keep thinking of more. I have a few on reflection.
They would surprise people but are far in the past.

Yes

I know some big secrets that I have been told and could never share. Find one particular difficult. The person who told me felt so much better for sharing it. It is their business.

No.

@sashadjas "@aurynne are you fishing for writing material? My apologies if I'm wrong but you don't sound real..."

I wondered how long it would take for the journo-hunters to come out of the dungeon. A simple search on MN would have showed you that I have been a member for over a decade and I have always had the same nickname.

The other option is that I am "not real", in which case I must be a very good AI bot, because I have even fooled myself

@AllNaturalIngredients thank you for sharing part of your secret. Sending you a big hug!

Yes :(. Nothing that’s my fault though

When he was a medical student, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is supposed to have sent a message to the 10 most respectable men he knew saying "Fly at once all is discovered." Next day 9 of them had left home unexpectedly. No wonder he went on to write the Sherlock Holmes stories.

Yes I have something or rather someone in my life who is, how shall we say- very taboo, controversial and great Daily Mail fodder. He almost ruined my life anyway but we have both moved on from that time. Living with it all is very stressful. I hope one day I will be free of the situation but not any time soon. I cannot possibly discuss it with anyone except my DH and my therapist. I don’t think there are many women in my position put it that way and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I do get insight into a world the general public does not have much access to but it’s awful really. I have a branch and trinkets made for me from the original Mulberry Bush

I doubt many peoples lives follow the plot lines of popular fiction or a Hollywood film script, unless your are Lord Lucan.