Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions? My team of unqualified but experienced Agony Aunts and myself have a 100% success rate. We're very friendly and never judgemental. Even if you're riddled with the clap.

^^ couldn't possibly

Well like with most things, I swing both ways you see! I used to feel the cold and need additional warming at all times but now I am suffering from what I call old-bagitis which seems to suddenly infuse me with an internal radiator turned up to ten.

But then I can't win because I throw off covers/clothing and drink icy drinks then will suddenly announce 'It's freezing' and so the cycle continues.

I imagine I am a bit tricky to live with!

M3Ion ooh you are so gorgeous when you talk experimental design!

That one sentence contains more sense than all the dysentery, oops dissertations, I have read all day.

this can you believe, that this very day, I was IRL invited on mastermind? Despite the pleas of my kids I couldn't think of a topic that I could possibly go on there with......until you posted........

Evening thighlanders, I can't tell you how much I've missed my slanket, my bed and my countrymen (that's you folks) today. This work shizz is a bit of a palaver - one day in and I'm knackered and more clueless than I was this time 24 hours ago. I'm also, as I feared would be the case, the oldest new person by decades. I don't know if I should see that as an achievement or as someone in HR filling required quotas.

Anyway - I too have internal heat regulation issues. Some years ago, I felt the cold so much I was in the habit of sleeping in a sleeping bag (with a hood) under the duvet. That was the year that my youngest dc was conceived and I still don't know how dh got past the zip and the polyester lining. These days, the window is open 365 days a year, the sleeping bag is long gone, and hot flushes are the only excitement troubling my sleep.

I need a holiday after my one day at work - can we give the pube carpet another outing please?

Naked! what's your specialist subject? It should be Thighland, no one can say you're wrong about anything and you'll win! Is there a monetary prize because I've got that earmarked.

Rag I had hoped you would enjoy your new job of drinking and being a cunt. Try harder at reverse improving tomorrow, keep their expectations non existant.

Rag is your dh secretly a Hasidic Jew, did you check the sleeping bag for a suspicious hole? He sleep jizzed you.

TL I actually would very much like to o on MM with SKs as my specialist subject. I often have to shout very loudly at the TV when they get facts wrong. I would be delirious with joy if I could be an FBI profiler.

Yeah I didn't really get the chance to reverse improve today. I'm thinking I'll take gin in tomorrow and offer it round at breakfast time. That should get me a few new friends and perhaps some recruits for thighland into the bargain.

Suspicious holes were a bit tricky to discover once I was safely ensconced inside it, with added duvet protection. But he got in there somehow and I have 14yr old proof of it. Or at least - I have 14yr old proof of it in a fair somewhere in the country.

Thigh

Why not apply?

[email protected]

Naked I'm too lazy and how would you cope without me. Is your specialist subject me?

I'm a bit cross that no one has asked after my bowels recently A lack of adoration?

I've given up sultana bran but moved on to something far worse. I've been buying pots of instant porridge and throwing berries in. Of course it's delicious and therefore I have several pots throughout the day.

The results are alarming, exploding and instantaneous.

I'm starting to wonder how much you all love and adore me. You're all becoming very independent and I suspect eyeing up my crown. Confess now those who dream of being Thigh II.

We've lost our joie de mort, we need fresh flesh, new recruits. Have we become pleasant? Dull? My bloodlust is not quenched, I need power.

I'm going to put an APB on AIBU, one of you will have to put a link back to here.

Hello Thigh 'Sorry to hear about Your Arse' (In the form of card)

We do adore you and wish for more murders! Personally I don't like crowns they look heavy but yours look lovely on you!

Where are you going? I will link it but I'll have to do it soon before I have to go out, because I can't do it on my phone.

An APB on AIBU. Hope it's the correct tone. Didn't mention murder.

Found it!!

What an excellent recruitment drive Thigh

Taps fingers waiting for arrival of JaneROchester and her snax.

Well I will have to go out to 'work' [puking emoticon] in a minute, hoping for some new folks in here when I get back!

Off for a massage, I have to pay people to touch me.

Where are out new recruits? They seem slow, but I suppose we can’t criticise lack of movement.

What is APB?

I don't about yours thigh, but my bowels are trying to kill me.

2.5 weeks of temper tantrums.

Does anybody know a good bowel whisperer?

Oh yes, your bowels, Thigh. I’m always interested. Is it the berries or the oats, do you think.

My adoration remains high. Didn’t I save you yesterday by suggesting tit inflation? I could t even contemplate running a nation, your crown is safe. Don’t ever die. We’d have to get one of the scientists to stuff you and install some kind of AI, like a malevolent Alexa.

M3 I’m of the view that bowels are at least 50% psychological.