Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions? My team of unqualified but experienced Agony Aunts and myself have a 100% success rate. We're very friendly and never judgemental. Even if you're riddled with the clap.

Rag did you have to got to work again today? It’s really too much. How did the gin go down?

If you value your bowels, don't eat unsoaked chia seeds.

I'm off to "a pint of science " I feel appalling due to respiratory infection, mad sore throats and a raging cold.
I hope it won't be an annoying little shit telling me stuff I already know. But there is the consolation that they sell whiskey in pubs, thank the inner thigh.

Sorry about your bowels, those of you thisters who are rectally challenged. It's my top half that's giving me grief.

Perhaps if we grafted our good bits together.................

Ooh naked good idea. I'll swap my left elbow for a working knee and cracking set of norks. Mine may be pert but I've always wondered how big bosoms would act as buoyancy aids. I aim to emulate our great Thigh

Hello, please may I lurk to distract myself from stalking my arse of an ex on social media a recent breakup, I have gin and strawberries to offer round.

Hi mummy0ftwo, welcome! This a good place for abandoning your troubles. Why bother stalking the ex? Usually we just murder them and dispose of the bodies!

Good idea, I will ponder that as soon as I have polished off the half box of chocolates I fortuitously found along with the gin, sod the strawberries

mummy just don’t, you know it will make you feel worse. Do something that’s actually nice like watch a film or have a bath. Thigh offers a correspondence course on serial killers if that would take your mind of him?

Off

thislido you're right, that much chocolate would make me feel sick and as its a school night I have curtailed the gin to a mere sniff. Serial killers correspondence it is.

Oh chocolate and gin is fine. I meant the stalking!

Stalking is ok as long as it leads to murder!

I think this is correct with her advice !

Mummy welcome. Stalking is only fun if it doesn't upset you. I quite enjoy doing random peoples family trees and often ask innocent questions like "how old was your uncle Bernie when he was blown up in WW2? Was it Poplar he was born in?"

Never answer those kind of questions, but do ask them. It's super funz!

I might try that at work tomorrow thigh, anything to bring a little intrigue -paranoia to my co-workers day

Every one who is serious about a career in serial killing must begin by stalking though? But perhaps not your ex mummy, find another victim.

Thigh please don't doubt your omnipresence and cult leader type qualities. We would crumble as a nation without your leadership, and indeed, your bowels.

Yes I've had to go to work again would you believe? I suspected mid morning that one of the trainers might be a thighlander - she kept mentioning tits in what I thought was an abandoned fashion. I attempted to approach her doing the thigh walk, but all that happened was I looked stupid ... (I didn't really do the thigh walk, but she did really keep mentioning tits). On the plus side, I did tempt some of the young ones to the pub after work so I might have a potential source of future recruits for us.

TL you did indeed save my life, thanks.

Cat I'll donate 3 cup sizes to you, will that too. I need different feet if you'd like to swap, mine are spherical.

Rag call your boss a cunt and see who laughs, those are the recruits.

My feet are cylindrical but it's not a competition!

Never mind feet, I'm bloody cylindrical,

but purely for research purposes, I'm a martyr to the cause.

I've thought of a new game - grooming - bear with me. Should we sally forth and spot a good poster with the correct amount of aggression and insouciense (TL what word do I mean) then we report back and observe them as a team. We don't call them cunts to begin with. Some weirdos find that too aggressive as an opening salvo.

Speaking of weirdos where's Proj?

There were a couple of posters at the end of the Tinder date/card that I liked.

Cat what's your kidnap status? I hope you feel sufficiently loved by your thisters now. I had my house breached by a big titted imposter for you. DT spent days on a pubepet with a vat of rum circling the ocean.

Many thanks for the 3 cup size donation Thigh, much appreciated and now very popular. Amazing buoyancy aids however, can no longer dive under water; the amazing norks force me back up.

Re kidnap status - in the true spirit of our great Thighland I've managed to effect a reverse kidnap and now ruler of my domain. All Thighlanders welcome, we'll find a work around re no visiting rule.

Cat due to my tit donation I'm down to a G so have some to spare should you need more.