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Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions? My team of unqualified but experienced Agony Aunts and myself have a 100% success rate. We're very friendly and never judgemental. Even if you're riddled with the clap.

Hurray. That calls for a thighland celebration! Not together just on our own of course. I'm going to have a glass of wine and some olives with garlic and chilli!! No more work for any of us ever again!!

Is that right?
Well Done Project!! Our Saviour!!

Is nobody coming to the party??
Fuck it we can do that another day then, I'm off to the sleeping quarters.

I'm very happy for you Project, am too tired to party after cruel work making me work and shizz.

I can't wait to live at your house with all the beloved thisters! We mustn't cross paths with each other though or it might class as visiting. We'll each have our own slanket corner, territories marked with our individual piss.

Proj I’ve had a large ice cream in celebration

I know what I can offer - a nice celebratory snooze, I'll throw in a piss!

Yay! Enjoy the snax n piss. I’ve just got in from a very long day, so am celebrating by taking my manager mask off, drinking beer and scratching myself.

Is this your manager mask?

Thigh, you’ve been suspiciously quiet about the plumber. He didn’t have an ‘accident’ at yours did he?

I don’t know who Aurora is but you could go with her look tomorrow.

Also, where the fuck has Barry gone? Will he be your assistant when you go freelance?

It’s this one lido

Oh good god, am I going to be followed round Mumsnet by scary teenager ads now?

Barry is resting. Do you think people will hire me for freelance jobs if my assistant is an abusive slanket?

Result. My first freelance job can be a tester for harvester

I’m not sure I’ve ever been into a Harvester but imagine Barry would be perfect for testing their customer service.

Wax’s mask.

The plumber fixed the toilet, praise Thigh. I was considering shitting on pizza boxes in the garden and I'll save that great idea for another time. I'm so glad you've sold our house Proj we really need the cash, thanks. I've been celebrating with an extra post prandial snooze. People could say I'm sleeping my life away, but I wouldn't hear them due to being asleep.

TTWAT! Excellent new name.

LOOK

That OP is a Thighland dater.

I have a ticket to Strictly the Professionals at 2.30 at Hammersmith tomorrow if anyone wants it. I can't be arsed to go. It's an e-ticket so doesn't break the no visiting rule.

I'm getting adverts to be a secret diner at a Harvester. Think I'd have to drive to the fucking airport so it's ok, forget it.

TL are you ever going to leave London? I'm already tired of the fucking noise and traffic.

Excellent mask TL, great find.

Reg I didn't even realise that I'd called myself a twat but I not mind and will stick with this for now.

Is it just the one ticket thigh? My DD absolutely loves all that but I wouldn't be able to send her on her own unfortunately. Do you have the comebackfromholidayblues ?

TT just one ticket unfortunately.

I do have post holiday blues and have rebooked for September.

Same place Thigh? It must be good then and now you have something to look forward to! Was Margaret satisfied with how you left the place?

Also thigh, whether you rent or own your palace, you will get 5 palaces for the same price in Wales, I think another thister is on the move!