Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions? My team of unqualified but experienced Agony Aunts and myself have a 100% success rate. We're very friendly and never judgemental. Even if you're riddled with the clap.

Great News Project, does this mean you can stop being a manager now?
You may need to give Thigh some top tips for selling up if she's off to Wales. Obviously, Ttwat will fashion a bush into a shape, but did you bake a lot of bread, and make a lot of coffee? Or did you just cause an accident to close the road, whilst they were viewing?

We had a flurry of viewings after Brexit was postponed, so obviously, in my Theresa May persona, that was a good call.

So my top tip would be cancel (or at least postpone) Brexit.

Just to be serious for one unusual snapshot in time (sorry for tedium) ... is anyone else struggling to load MN the last couple of days?

DT yes, it's been playing up lots. There's this thread, that I've had a moan on and it was down for a while yesterday.

Yes, it’s been really creaky.

Ah ok thank you, I was suspecting my devices unfairly!

Couldn't get on at all yesterday morning.

Thigh I'm not sure I will ever live in London. I was born here but I grew up in the middle of nowhere, so I know what that's like. Maybe, one day, but I think being retired in London would be amazing, everything is bloody free! Also services are much easier to access here.

I do live in a very, very quiet place though, surrounded by a lot of green space, and currently I have considerate neighbours (own a flat). Could never afford a house here though unless I won the lottery.

I actually still get butterflies sometimes as I walk home, I love living here so much.

The ads are suggesting relocation options

Well done Project, selling up is so stressful - once we took over a year to sell a house and the strain of pretending to be clean and tidy nearly finished me off. Anyway - how soon before I get my share of the profits?

I like your new name wax/topiary. I want a new one now. Can you thighlanders help me find one? My thought processes are currently slightly below par thanks to Friday night gin.

Thigh I'm very impressed by the level of your organisation - rebooked for September already? . Who'd have thought Wales would be a success?!

MothersRuined?

Here’s some inspiration thelondonginclub.com/2013/06/16/names-for-gin/amp/

Would you all rethink my eligibility for thighland if I confessed to a serious crush on rag n bone man?

There’s no judgement in Thighland

Would you hold onto his beard during sex?

How about an actual rag and bone man? He’d be able to collect you stuff.

Oh ! Noway should I admit that he lives locally to me and is a friend of a friend!?
I don't know him myself though.

Tell us everything immediately, we love to hear about disgusting crushes. Why do you have a rag and bone man in this day and age?

no is it Steptoe? Or the son?

You still get them outside of London! I saw some the other day, they had an electronic bell to announce their arrival!

Ooh I could do it with the son, they could also take away all the shit cluttering up my house. Little did I realise this is what I should have been aiming for in a partner! Rubbish clearance, it all makes sense now.

Look at this advert, they're trying to send me to Hitchin. No, I don't like Hitchin.

Where's DT? Has she abandoned us?

Oh I couldn't possibly tell you everything, my stance as a strong thighlander with principles and such like would be blown to smithereens. I believe that all you need to know is "I would". Anyway - any suggestions on the name front?

Topiary I need to be introduced to the friend of a friend!

DroolAndTheGang is a lovely name or SkullFucker, that's very beautiful.