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Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 12/05/2019 00:18

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions? My team of unqualified but experienced Agony Aunts and myself have a 100% success rate. We're very friendly and never judgemental. Even if you're riddled with the clap.

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WaxaCuntee · 14/05/2019 22:07

We could play hide and seek on the threads! Except I'm off to project's now. Bye

DogHairEverywhere · 14/05/2019 22:12

Perhaps we should have a special sign on a thread where we spot a thighlander. Maybe just post a ⛏ (axe) or 🧟‍♀️ (zombie)

ProjectGainsborough · 14/05/2019 22:15

Oh boo Pooter, that’s traumatic. I don’t think you’re a smug racist.

ProjectGainsborough · 14/05/2019 22:17

I’d be up for that dog. Any kind of sinister icon would do. I’ll start doing it (except I never post).

DogHairEverywhere · 14/05/2019 22:19

theWorld, yes, yes, chocolate first, then any special ingredients, even better as i could legitimately ban the dc from eating them.

CarolinePooter · 14/05/2019 22:25

Thanks project I was just refusing to be browbeaten, really gave me horrid schooldays flashbacks! Much nicer here.

Nowaypast · 14/05/2019 23:01

I've had to be sociable tonight. It was horrible. Except for the bit where I followed a man to outside toilet and he looked very worried. That cheered me up a bit.

Project why do you have to move? If you and Pooter both don't move won't that cancel the need for either of you to move? Or something.

Just you need to stop faffing about with signs and fashion some sort of exploding doorbell, or finger-amputating door knocker. I find either of those efficient deterrents to visitors.

I'm getting properly worried about thigh now - I think either Margaret's got her, or she's overdosed on McCain baked potatoes.

thislido · 15/05/2019 00:10

Ah yes, the World Book Day thread, I looked it up last time you mentioned it. It was very heated and suffered from people leaping in with fairly spurious examples and arguments, mostly without having read what had come before which made it really hard to follow and people were arguing at crossed purposes and misunderstanding each others posts - I remember having to open it on my laptop because it was too hard to read on my phone!

I like Bert as a mumsnet character, I generally find her contributions thoughtful and well argued and she was generous with her time/thoughts on a thread where I was trying to work out what I thought about something once; perhaps it also helps that I agree with her on quite a lot of things. I can see how the dogged persistence could feel like being browbeaten although I seem to remember you giving as good as you got! I suspect that if you could read it back one day without remembering that you were one of the posters it might seem a bit different, but obviously that's not possible unless you develop some kind of memory loss. By the way I also think it's perfectly possible to express the views you did without "being a racist" in the typically accepted sense of the word.

I'm worried about Thigh too. I know belief driving usually works, but it was a long journey. Maybe she's been arrested for sheep rustling?

CarolinePooter · 15/05/2019 07:45

Of course lido there is no nuance in AIBU. I will defend to the death the right of others to disagree with me!

thislido · 15/05/2019 08:02

Yes and being cured of AIBU is no bad thing. I never see any AIBU threads in ‘Active’, just the ones that pop up on ‘Trending’ because I’ve hidden the topic. I found it too depressing a picture of human nature!

CarolinePooter · 15/05/2019 08:17

This x 1000!!

Nowaypast · 15/05/2019 09:06

Yes, there's nowhere near enough people like us around.

WaxaCuntee · 15/05/2019 09:29

So Project what do you think? It's me! The viewings will be up now and I'm quite sure an offer will be forthcoming

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thislido · 15/05/2019 09:32

Wax can you get back tonight and tweak it so she’s having a leisurely wank? Maybe prop a chip cone up in the other hand?

CarolinePooter · 15/05/2019 09:34

Oh wax you are an artist!

WaxaCuntee · 15/05/2019 09:35

Oh yes this that is a great idea. I'll do my best but it's a long way in the tractor.

thislido · 15/05/2019 09:37

Oh, true. And a lot of red diesel. Maybe Proj can do it with the grape scissors.

CarolinePooter · 15/05/2019 10:03

noway I remember doctors years ago would add mysterious acronyms to medical notes. One, NFN, stood for Normal For Norfolk.

I will never be actually normal, but maybe NFM , Normal For Mumsnet?

Then I could be pooter NC NFM

pineapplebryanbrown · 15/05/2019 11:03

I'm baaaaaaaaack! I have to read everything now and catch up. My phone broke, am transferring all my data now which will challenge me a lot so catching up on the laptop.

On the roads everyone was really jealous of my Kia Rio and kept trying to drive into my boot. The driving on blind corners and blind summits was insane. I got chased for hours through Welsh valleys and was a bit relieved just to get back to common or garden knife crime here a Londres.

We covered why Project is selling her house 11 threads ago.

A) She hates work and being a manager and getting rid of the house may give her more freedom to shizz around in Thighland

B) Her son, the Dark Lord in Training needs to further hone his skillz to become me and has to go to an "Approved School" to achieve this. I'm very proud of him.

OP posts:
pineapplebryanbrown · 15/05/2019 11:07

Oh - lost all my photos on my old phone. WHO MADE THAT FUCKING CUNTING RULE?

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CarolinePooter · 15/05/2019 11:07

Wecome back thigh !

pineapplebryanbrown · 15/05/2019 11:12

The arse situation is urgent but manageable. I've done about 17 shits this morning, I think it's all the country air coming out of me. Plus the McDonalds and Krisy Kremes (4) I had yesterday to get me through the drive.

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CarolinePooter · 15/05/2019 12:38

thigh you are fit to return to thighland now you have no more shits to give!!

thislido · 15/05/2019 12:44

Hurray! You’re back! I always have a good shit once back on home turf, I think it’s only natural, and your unconscious was probably worried about Margaret stealing your DNA via stool samples.

I don’t suppose your photos are in the cloud somewhere?

thislido · 15/05/2019 12:46

OMFG finally the adverts we deserve

Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in