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Original poster

Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 12/05/2019 00:18

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions? My team of unqualified but experienced Agony Aunts and myself have a 100% success rate. We're very friendly and never judgemental. Even if you're riddled with the clap.

OP posts:
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36
thislido · 15/05/2019 12:47

Think what we could do with that

DogHairEverywhere · 15/05/2019 13:35

Thigh you're home!
I guess you saved up yesterday's shits for today. Always difficult to really relax in the motorway service toilets.
The photos may well be 'in the cloud' have a look on google photos (sign in with your gmail account, you're bound to have set one up at some point, it's almost impossible not to have done). I've twice managed to resurrect photos when all seems lost this way.

DogHairEverywhere · 15/05/2019 13:36

this 'machines to suit any need', ooh, i will make a list.

DogHairEverywhere · 15/05/2019 13:36

Why do some posts post twice? Is it something I'm doing?

thislido · 15/05/2019 13:37

Well this isn’t our summer uniform.

Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in
thislido · 15/05/2019 13:38

It’s only posted once for me!

CarolinePooter · 15/05/2019 13:40

lido if it isn't it should be!

DogHairEverywhere · 15/05/2019 13:42

What have you googled recently for 'them' to think those monstrosities might be of interest to you, This.

DogHairEverywhere · 15/05/2019 13:43

Strange, its only there once now for me, but it was showing a double post before. Perhaps i need to take more tonic with my gin.

WaxaCuntee · 15/05/2019 13:49

Or more gin with your tonic dog

WaxaCuntee · 15/05/2019 13:50

Welcome home thigh! We are so glad you are okay and not been kidnapped or anything.

WaxaCuntee · 15/05/2019 13:51

This those dresses are impressive! Not at all practical though for our type o work

thislido · 15/05/2019 14:18

I don’t imagine they wash well.

I can’t think any of Googling could have led to them. I mainly wear shapeless sacks/elasticated waisted things that don’t require ironing. Well, as I look down I realise that arguably they do require ironing, but who has time for that.

Sometimes I log into my friend’s Facebook and google weird shit to influence her adverts. I used to update her status too but “XX is hot for the Lord” drew a reaction from one of her religious bosses. Since I l’ve lived in Thighland she’s been receiving amazon emails recommending she purchase the slanket she viewed, I must have sent her a link.

justdog · 15/05/2019 18:21

Welcome back thigh, as you say it must be a huge relief to be back to the land of casual stabbings and gun crime...

DanglyTassles · 15/05/2019 18:53

Welcome back thigh I had to do work and shizz today, i can't wait until Project sells her house then supports us all.

I was so worried about you, but apparently that's not a good enough reason to call in sick! Huh? Who even makes these tight-as-fuck fucking rulz? Sad

ProjectGainsborough · 15/05/2019 18:57

Yay thigh! God I love arriving back in London. Even though I don’t live there anymore. There’s something so soothing about the smell of the north circular and knife crime.

wax I love my topiary lady. Do you think you could make her be flicking the v’s at the yummy mummy next door?

DT I’d seek tribunal - your managers are clearly BU. Anyone could see how traumatised you were.

ProjectGainsborough · 15/05/2019 18:59

Summer uniform. I’ve been thinking - what about a string vest and a can of special brew? Non drinking thisters can switch for.

Trousers optional.

ProjectGainsborough · 15/05/2019 19:00

*Non drinking thisters can switch for Lucazade.

Cunting phone.

DogHairEverywhere · 15/05/2019 19:08

I'm trying to imagine how I'd look in a string vest, and to be honest, even at my least judgy-ist, i would disgust myself at seeing all my blubber oozing through each hole, it might even put me off my snax. So can i please veto the string vest. The special brew can stay, of course.

thislido · 15/05/2019 19:25

I fear I might be chilly in the string vest. But you can wear one.

Nowaypast · 15/05/2019 19:31

Hello thigh what a relief to see you back, thought Margaret had done for you.

I'm quite liking the Rab C Nesbitt vibe of a string vest and a can of special brew. We could opt in the hat hankie for very hot days. Dog we're not actuality supposed to look at ourselves are we? I think I last troubled a mirror, um, who knows when?

justdog · 15/05/2019 19:42

Project the north circular certainly smelt this morning, warehouse fire and all that (interspersed with gangland shootings and the casual stabbings near Brent Cross obviously ...)
took me approx five seconds more to get to work, due to 'delays': how very inconsiderate.

In fact. I am now suspicious that it may have been a thighlander, testing the response time of the local fire station...

Nowaypast · 15/05/2019 19:49

I did it for your own good just, it's very important to know all that you can about your local fire men brigade.

CarolinePooter · 15/05/2019 20:26

Lucozade is yuk. Can I a carry a cup of tea instead? Not sure about the string vest, I am always chilly. A liberty bodice would be better, they are pretty cosy, but would need a cardi to keep my arms warm. Trousers of course, and slippers. Yes, that sounds fairly radical, and would definitely mark me out as a thighlander!

waxacuntee · 15/05/2019 20:32

I'm up for string vests! And any alcohol at all is good. I like flip flops best and maybe some chainsaw trousers to complete the look or if it's hot just pants, big pants though nothing skimpy obviously.
I'm glad you like the topiary project. Can't be arsed to go all the way back to yours now though, it's been a long old day full of cunts!