Welcome to the Advice Clinic - Please come in

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Do you have problems? Would you like to hear solutions? My team of unqualified but experienced Agony Aunts and myself have a 100% success rate. We're very friendly and never judgemental. Even if you're riddled with the clap.

Ha, getting nervous now wax, as an accessory to crime. Well don’t be. We’ll never get the ZA on the road if we bottle it.

The ZA will be a problem in our house because I like Waitrose and Fuckboy likes Lidl.

Waitrose or M&S.

Time for a Trial Separation Caroline

I was thinking that the local hospital might go on fire and it would all be the fault of me!!!!

I'm brave now and ready for killing and arson and all manner of crimes but not skulling.

Is skulling a crime?

I am extremely angry this evening. EXTREMELY ANGRY.

Send help.

Pooter Lidl is just because we can't afford Waitrose, it's not a valid choice for the ZA!

Oh justdog. What do you need? I have gin, bottle of rose, knives, cats and bubble bath. Any of those?

*wax8 skulling might be, but not in prison!

just what is it???

Umm where do I send help to?

Do people still need rescuing? Should I get my haunted dragon or whatever it was?

wax probably not the actual skulling but maybe forcibly removing eyeballs. Although if you put them back afterwards it’s probably ok.

just have the ants sent their mates?

I don't feel at all angry, I've had chips and a wank and I'm here to help

This nobody knows if you put the eye balls back I suppose, no evidence

I keep getting this advert. I hope it’s not a worrying message about Thigh. Perhaps Dog is lonely. Dog you friends are here!

Reg!

We’ve lost Thigh

Send all of the afore mentioned items please wax and the address is as before: a house (near the fire station) in London, near a park, postcode FML 123

Chuggers at the door, set bone idle shit dog off, when I had Just. Settled. Justbaby. Fucks sake!!! Now justbaby is squawking, bone idle Shit dog is barking and I am close to tears, wondering why the fuck I didn't invest in gin before I was tied to the house...

I gave her 70p to just piss off (she did promise that god will save my soul in return, brilliant, a good investment then) now I don't think I have enough money to pay for parking at stupid work tomorrow. Ugh ugh ugh

Not even the ants have sent their mates. Kill me now!!!

You need to crayon a large FUCK OFF sign for your door. Do it now to help release the anger.

I might actually do that. Shall I do it and post a pic??!!! I am sleep deprived and a full time working single mother (the scourge of the earth...) what's a little fuck off sign in the grand scheme of things???

I think I'll keep the cats here Just. I'm not sure they are safe there. What is Chuggers?
I bloody hated anyone waking my babies, I would actually kill them so I'll send extra stuff too like some nice chocolate (your favourite ones) and a big hug. Whisky and tequila in the garage I think, on their way! Fuckin Chuggers! ?

In fact I am going to fashion one now...

Do the sign, yes!

Charity muggers