Trapped in a coffee shop because I’m being too British (LH)

[TaterHater]

I got a text this morning from a friend saying she was unwell and could we change our coffee date for tomorrow (no I’m working) but anyway- reply in the usual manner one does.

I decided to come into town and have a browse but coffee first- I grabbed my order and sat down and said unwell friend is in with a couple of friends and they’ve sat down. She hasn’t seen me yet.

I’m actually rooted to my seat and wondering how to get out without putting a bag on my head- no wait- I shouldn’t be embarrassed she should !

Every fibre of my being says sit and sip the coffee slowly and hope they get out fast or paper bag option.

Stay Audrey- can I make that much whilst sat on the loo using the coffee shops WiFi?

Good luck!!

Be aware that this may well be in the Daily Mail later. Give a few identifying details OP.

have just done a FB check in of the coffee shop and have tagged her in it and simply put “amazing who you bump into when you’re least expecting it”

Have you really done that? That's so PA [impressed]

I'd finish my coffee in my own time, then if she was still there when I left, catch her eye and give a small polite smile.

Get out of there and ostentatiously wave and say “hellooooooooo!” as you leave.

I think the FB tagging is way beyond PA tbh.

Blatant place marking i want to know what happennssss :)

Well done OP - The status is perfect!!!

Can't wait for the update!

I’d pretend I hadn’t seen, but leave in a way that means she can’t not see me. Leave confidently, pretend you haven’t noticed her, and she will feel absolutely awful for it.

Oh heavens, read the room @Audrey9!

What a cowbag. Doesn't matter what you do really, the friendship is over either way. Just walk away and ignore her. She's not worth the mental energy.

Photograph her 'through' the mirror (switch your flash off), and send it with a smiley. Makes your point in a beautifully passive aggressive manner without causing negativity.

Are you still in the loo?

On way out, pause for 20 seconds to stand next to their table very obviously without looking their way or saying a single thing. Fiddle with your phone. Make her wonder what's happening.

ahh bugger, thread's moved on lots while I was on the phone - how rude! lol

Oh quickly delete that tag! Just walk out, slight tap on the shoulder and lean down, say "I'm blowing you off tomorrow for other friends", and then sashay out of of there. Fuck that. Can't abide sly shit friends like this.

shamelessly placemarking.

not now Audrey 😂😂😂

Not now Audrey

Was going to suggest you order a honey and lemon in hot water for her, for waitress to take over and say this is for you from the lady over there. Loving the assertive flounce

Stand in front of the table, fb "So nice to see you looking better" THEN run!

Your friendship is blatantly over anyway so I would just pass her on the way out and say 'Glad you are feeling better' then walk away.

Fingers crossed you get out of the door ok op from a fellow can’t walk normally through doors person.

Awesome thread for a long train journey. Please have a stand up row with her OP. PPPPLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAAZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Are you out yet?? Go on with your day!

(I think you understood me - I wasn't saying you were a pushover, I was saying I FEEL YOUR PAIN 😀)