Trapped in a coffee shop because I’m being too British (LH)

[TaterHater]

I got a text this morning from a friend saying she was unwell and could we change our coffee date for tomorrow (no I’m working) but anyway- reply in the usual manner one does.

I decided to come into town and have a browse but coffee first- I grabbed my order and sat down and said unwell friend is in with a couple of friends and they’ve sat down. She hasn’t seen me yet.

I’m actually rooted to my seat and wondering how to get out without putting a bag on my head- no wait- I shouldn’t be embarrassed she should !

Every fibre of my being says sit and sip the coffee slowly and hope they get out fast or paper bag option.

Oh dear, poor you. But you need to address this and not hide, or you’ll feel worse and nurse the knowledge for weeks!

I love love AndThereSaw 's text idea!!

Maybe the friends are actually specialist medical professionals advising her on her illness?

You're wasting shopping time though, you need to get some fun out of this and make her squirm or you'll kick yourself later

Well done OP now walk back to your seat and let her see you

I'd take a picture and text it with 'i am very disappointed and saddened'

Get another coffee, be visible. Do not indicate you've seen her. Then nurse that coffee for ages, o she can't leave?

I was right by the loos on a small table
They are on sofas right by the windows so will see me as I leave

I have form for opening the door the wrong way then tripping and falling flat on my minge.

I must channel Audrey Hepburn.

Yes I’m still in the loo

Text her and say that you are in town and if she's feeling better would she like to join you in X coffee shop

OMG, the FB thing is worse than confronting her in person imho.

only just saw your update - you'll have to escape now or she'll think you've been in the loo so long you must have had diarrhoea and claim its the same illness

😂

Oh my goodness, I would freeze to.

Please, do what you can to make sure she knows you've seen her.

If going up and speaking is too much, which I imagine it would be for me too on certain anxious days, call a friend and walk back chatting, give her a really big smile and wave...

As long as she knows you've seen her.

Did you really tag her on FB?!

Ahh what a cop out! She can totally pretend not to see that message

I would have said "Hope you're feeling better. Popped into town for a coffee anyway.. wish you were here!" "OHHH BUT YOU ARE!!!!"

OP you can do it! Get out of the loo and if she hasn't already scarpered walk past her with your head held high and either leave and enjoy your shopping or go back and enjoy your coffee.

when you leave, just go up to them and say "fancy seeing you here... must dash though! Mwah".

Would it be obvious that you've seen her? If not, give her a call and confuse her by the fact she can hear your voice in stereo.

this is hilarious.. sorry OP

Crikey... definitely sit somewhere so she'll clock that you're there and silently watch her squirm. I wouldn't embarrass her or get annoyed with her... making her squirm while you remain nonchalant will be more than enough. Just try not to laugh!

I'd cut her some slack though... maybe she has an excuse it being that she's a sh1tbag.

Pull your knickers up and get out there OP.

Not now Audrey

Am still in loo

Right I’m going out

I thought the FB tag was perfect- a kick in the fanny then run away

If she’s such a liar and shit friend I’m thinking I’d rarely see her anyway. And I tend to get verbal diarrhoea when I’m surprised or shocked so it works for me

Oh god- what if she’s seen it already.

Right- I’m trying to remember how the door opens and I’m going shopping - I’m going for assertive flounce.

Did you really tag her? I like Bevbrook's suggestion. Text and ask hue she's feeling and watch her face as she reads it.
Is she still your friend? I'd ditch her.