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Original poster

Can your kids help themselves to food?

112 replies

Littlechocolatepumkins · 03/11/2018 20:42

DC can already help themselves to fruit.

I was thinking of snacks somewhere accessible so after school for example I can say go help yourself to something. Or if they're hungry after dinner/ before bedtime. Breadsticks, popcorn, raisins etc or plain biscuits. Nothing too tempting!

I feel like i'm allowing DC too many sweets/treats and I need to reduce their intake. Oddly i feel like maybe giving them some control might be a good idea? Or is that stupid?

OP posts:
BrazzleDazzleDay · 03/11/2018 20:47

Mine can help themselves. They're all fairly sensible about understanding that it's just a snack and it's always available so don't tend to go overboard.

Pissedoffdotcom · 03/11/2018 20:49

Nope. She has access to fruit whenever she wants it, but she has to ask if she wants anything else. We had a few issues around meal times whereby she didn't eat meals but expected snacks. Now she eats 3 good meals & has something for her supper

Muddlingalongalone · 03/11/2018 20:50

Mine can't without asking. Dd2 would be fine but dd1 would literally never stop eating & is already overweight so unfortunately it wouldn't work for us.

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Families
siakcaci · 03/11/2018 20:50

The teens can. The younger has set meals and snacks.

PhilomenaButterfly · 03/11/2018 20:53

DD gets herself a high fibre chocolate brownie when she comes in from school if she remembers. She's usually home before DS2 and me.

zeeboo · 03/11/2018 20:55

Yep. I like them to ask first to check it isn't something ear marked for lunchboxes or something but they are all sensible.

PreseaCombatir · 03/11/2018 20:57

Yes, they can help themselves. I can’t be doing with asking permission to have a sandwich or whatever, if they’re hungry, they can eat, if they’re not, they won’t. I found having food available whenever means they don’t really pig out, they just eat when hungry or fancy a snack

ohnothanks · 03/11/2018 20:59

Yes although there isn't that much that's appealing... and that they can reach. They would never ever choose fruit. Much to my disappointment.

HurricaneFliss · 03/11/2018 21:00

Yes, it's her home.

lucysmam · 03/11/2018 21:01

Yep, mine can within reason. They do usually ask though & know that if it's close to tea time then the answer will be no.

WorraLiberty · 03/11/2018 21:01

No, mine always asked.

The youngest is nearly 16 and still does, just out of habit.

It started when they were little so I could keep track of who was eating more of what and most importantly, so they didn't eat too close to mealtimes.

Original poster
Littlechocolatepumkins · 03/11/2018 21:02

Sounds like it depends on the child. My hope was they learn to regulate their own intake and "treats" become less desireable. Maybe worth a try. They love a bit of independence.

Food was very controlled when I was growing up (or course as an adult I'm entirely responsible for my weight issues now). I'd like to do it differently with DC.

OP posts:
homebirds · 03/11/2018 21:04

Wow I can't imagine not letting my dc have access to food. Mine have always been able to get what they want and we've never had a problem with meal times. It's not just about food it's about independence and making decisions. No-one really just wants to fill themselves up with crap. They would soon get bored with that.

Original poster
Littlechocolatepumkins · 03/11/2018 21:18

Now I'm thinking about it, food is all out of reach. I don't even let them look into the fridge if there is a pudding or anything good in it. Its all very "forbidden". Then I buy them too many sweets. It makes no sense. But at least I've realised.

OP posts:
WhirlwindHugs · 03/11/2018 21:21

It's worth a try. Unfortunately I agree with others that it depends on the child, one of mine is not bothered and will leave sweets, chocolate etc untouched for ages. Another will just keep going until nothing is left.

They can have fruit whenever but they have to ask for anything else.

Pissedoffdotcom · 03/11/2018 21:28

Definitely depends on the child. DD now doesn't constantly whinge she is hungry because she is having decent meals (plus a snack at school & at home) but before she would happily eat herself silly on crisps or chocolate then refuse meals.

YourMilkshakeIsBetterThanMine · 03/11/2018 21:31

My mw suggested an accessible drawer when DD2 was born so DD1 would have been 3. Bottom drawer with crackers, raisins, bear bloody yoyos etc. for when the baby fell asleep on me or was feeding. So she's had access to that since she was 3 and she can reach the fruit bowl and fridge with a step. She wouldn't take anything like chocolate without asking, just things in the designated snack spots.

DH also has designated snack spots as he would otherwise eat things earmarked for dinner like a whole fucking chicken

Babybearsporij · 03/11/2018 21:31

My DC have free access to the fruit bowl. I used to say they could help themselves to the little frube type yoghurts, but they were all getting scoffed so I had to put a stop to that!

TheDayMyButtWentPsycho · 03/11/2018 21:31

Nope.

In MN standards I'm an absolute arsehole.
I got ripped a new arsehole years ago on here because I vetted what my children ate.

The reason is, I go shopping once a week for enough food to feed our whole family for a week, with snacks, so we never go hungry.
If I were to let my children help themselves, that would all be gone within 24-48 hours.

They eat non-stop as it is, I have to make sure that isn't absolute crap and stuff that we need for lunches but some fruit and vegetables and healthy stuff as well.

user1981287 · 03/11/2018 21:31

no

DaysDragonBy · 03/11/2018 21:32

No, although it depends on the child. My ASD child would eat until he vomits, then eat some more. And do the same the next day. So I limit what they are allowed, even if other DC would probably be reasonable.

LucyMorningStar · 03/11/2018 21:34

Available freely but my DD aged 7 will ask if it's something she can't reach physically. My SDS aged 15 asks my permission all the time and I'm sick and tired of telling him he doesn't need to! It's what he has to do at his mum's so can't get out of the habit.

Original poster
Littlechocolatepumkins · 03/11/2018 21:36

TheDayMyButtWentPsycho you sound practical rather than arsehole-like.

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 03/11/2018 21:36

Full access to anything but it would be different if there were any food issues. We only have to deal with the constant hunger of the teenager!!!

TheBigFatMermaid · 03/11/2018 21:38

DD has not off switch, so we have a lockable cupboard with crisps, choc, biscuits (sometimes), cake (occasionally) and squash (of all things, but she suffers from acid reflux, mainly due to guzzling this), all treat stuff.

She is allowed reasonable amounts of things from this cupboard. She is allowed free access to he fridge, freezer and fruit bowl. At 13, she is able to book herself a meal, so will not starve without access to this cupboard.

When she goes away, as she does a few times a year, the cupboard is left unlocked and DS has free access, but he still always asks if he can have stuff, but mainly he still has to be offered.