Can your kids help themselves to food?

[Littlechocolatepumkins]

DC can already help themselves to fruit.

I was thinking of snacks somewhere accessible so after school for example I can say go help yourself to something. Or if they're hungry after dinner/ before bedtime. Breadsticks, popcorn, raisins etc or plain biscuits. Nothing too tempting!

I feel like i'm allowing DC too many sweets/treats and I need to reduce their intake. Oddly i feel like maybe giving them some control might be a good idea? Or is that stupid?

No.

I’m not controlling about it but they do have to ask most of the time. Breakfast they know what’s suitable/available so I’m happy for them to help themselves then.

Rest of the time they’ll ask as they know sometimes the food may be bagsied for other things, or someone else has their eye on it so they may need to share etc. Is there anything like the hangry feeling you get when you find someone has eaten all of the thing you were looking forward to?

Plus I just see it as polite to ask. They don’t come begging, cap in hand, it’s a shout of 'can I have the rest of the ham for a sandwich' bellowed from the kitchen!

Plus we don’t have £££ so I can’t just replace stuff.

My daughter can reach the fruit bowl but she wouldn’t be able to access cupboards or fridge. Occasionally she will ask for a treat, but thankfully yoghurt and blueberries are just as desirable to her as chocolate and biscuits.
I enjoy cooking and preparing food, but we have a very food is fuel approach in our house so DD understands about food groups and balanced meals. No food is out of bounds as I think that encourages bad habits, instead we just talk about nutrition and being healthy.

Fridge freezer cupboards fully stocked and all 4 children can eat anything they want when they want. No weight issues with any of them apart from the youngest who eats too much so trying to encourage awareness of eating healthy and exercising etc and trying to make sure there is more healthy than unhealthy food in. I am horrified at anyone in my house having to ask if they are allowed to eat something

Ds(14) always asks, I've never asked him to ask, he just does I guess because it's polite .

He'll go look in the fridge and then come and say can I make a sandwich with the chicken, or can I have a drink of milk etc.

Those that let their dc eat what and when they want do you not find you go to make lunch or dinner and half of what you need has been eaten?

I can’t be doing with that. Firstly because of cost of replacing but secondly the inconvenience of being ready to make food now but having to go to the shops for new stuff and pushing back meal times by an hour or whatever.

Mine can. They raid the fridge and bread bin. We have treat-snacks too (far too many of them - DH buys them) but they are limited to two a day of those. When they were on teenage growth spurts and eating the furniture I used to keep a roast chicken in the fridge for them to pick on and big bags of nuts/jars of peanut butter so they could fill up on protein not sugary rubbish.

I just make whatever is in and regularly top up grocery shop during the week. If I think of making something and something isn’t in I pop to the shop or make something different. We eat out a lot and have takeaways a lot as well

Ds(14) always asks, I've never asked him to ask, he just does I guess because it's polite

I don't think it's "polite" for a teenager to ask if they can have a drink of milk in their own home. It's rather odd and sad.

I don’t think it’s sad. It’s considerate. Making sure you’re not going to leave others without.

My DC know I’ll almost always say yes when they ask. They don’t go hungry or thirsty or without treats.

Almost always say yes - so sometimes if you children are hungry and ask for food you say no??!!

I think it depends on the age. I have a 10, 9 and 6 year old. The 10 and 9 year old both help themselves and can cook simple meals (fried egg, beans on toast etc). If they come in and do it while I'm preparing a meal I'll tell them we're eating soon but that's just to make them think about moderating the size of the snack. But we don't usually have biscuits and cakes in the house so snacks are fruit or something savoury like a cheese sandwich. They only get to drink water if it's not a mealtime. The 6 year old still asks before he takes food.

Those that let their dc eat what and when they want do you not find you go to make lunch or dinner and half of what you need has been eaten?

No, because they tend to snack on 'snack' foods (fruit, cheese, nuts, peanut butter, bread, oatcakes, hummus, cucumber, sometimes eggs) rather than 'meal' food. And I shop knowing what they snack on and always have more than the food I need for just that week in the house. When they start eating broccoli and diced lamb for snacks I'll start worrying.

Monster, my children will ask for food if not hungry, I can’t imagine they’re the only ones to do this! Sometimes they ask because they want crap (biscuits, crisps etc) and I’ll say no as they’ve already had some that day or I’ll say no as dinner is in 10 minutes.

Please don’t make out I’m refusing food to a hungry child.

Mine are only ten, they have access to the fruit bowl, not because of virtue signalling but because the odd apple or banana isn't going to do them much harm. I have other treats like dried fruit bars that aren't as filling and are needed for packed lunches. One of mine is a natural balancer the other would snack on high calorie food and skip meals if I let them. They don't have free rein on food because it is a family resource I manage, I imagine when they are older they will help themselves more.

If I am in the middle of cooking dinner then yes I will say no and to wait until dinner. If they have had enough sugary treats for the day I will say no to that, you've had enough for today, would you like a rice cake or similar? I don't expect them to learn how to manage food intake without any guidelines or help.

No, not without asking. If they say "I'm hungry" and it's not close to a meal I will say "go and get an apple/yoghurt/cracker" etc. But they don't just go and get food without asking.

Almost always say yes - so sometimes if you children are hungry and ask for food you say no??!!
The horror of a child being momentarily hungry before a meal!

DD14 is allowed to help herself to food, but she still always asks.

Ds 6 and Ds 3 would ask for food, and at that point I might say ‘go and get yourself a snack’ but they wouldn’t just help themselves. This is purely because they won’t eat meals properly if they’ve eaten too much snacky stuff, I don’t think they really need it. They can have fruit if they want, but I think they’d still ask

I know @Orlande
My DD had a melt down the other day because dinner was going to be 20 minutes and I wouldn't give her a snack. Ridiculous 🙄 literally snacks are for between meals... Glad she can't help herself yet! She'd never eat dinner it's hard enough anyway to get her to!

Also re: fruit. My kids are only allowed 2 pieces a day otherwise they get the shits 😂 would much rather give them a piece of ham or cheese or some crackers or something...

Things like fruit, veg sticks, yoghurts and crackers, yes, crisps, sweets and biscuits no unless there's no meal en route.

DS1 is great at making fab choices when it comes to snacks, but DS2 would live on biscuits if he could, so the push towards fruit is mostly for his benefit than for DS1.

In theory, mine can, but in reality they can’t because I make sure they have filling snacks and meals.
I always let them know that the next meal will be ready soon so not to have any snacks.
Otherwise, they’d just eat everything out of the fridge and the cupboards.
After school, I give them some proper food otherwise they keep snacking until dinner.
If they have a ‘light’ dinner, then there’s always some dessert, otherwise they’ll snack until bedtime.

DS is 2.5, he doesn't at home due to the way the kitchen is.
At my DMs there is a 'snack drawer' (that everyone uses) that he can reach where the crackers, biscuits, and buns are kept but he doesn't really take stuff unless over people are eating too.
He much prefers carrying potatoes around the house! (DM has a potato cupboard)

Mine are 9 and 11 and help themselves to assorts, cereal, toast, sandwiches, fruit, yogurts etc. The 9 year old loves cucumber and cut up apples. She can get the knife, small chopping board and sits on the floor to chop up get snacks.

Yes and I wish my son would.

I don't think it's "polite" for a teenager to ask if they can have a drink of milk in their own home. It's rather odd and sad.

nothing odd and definitely nothing sad to report here. I've said to him a million times of course he can have a drink or if there's loads of milk you don't need to ask. Very rarely I tell him we are running short of milk and can he have a juice, yoghurt instead. Maybe it's because I don't have masses of milk in all the time as I like it fresh, we don't take in coffee and dh rarely uses milk it at all so if I buy too much it sometimes goes down the sink.. He's just very well mannered and considerate and checks its ok and he's not leaving anyone else without or drinking milk needed for breakfast.

Yes they help themselves. They do have to check for 'junk' and will often ask if something is part of a meal plan before eating. They also will often ask when/what is for lunch/dinner and adjust any snacking accordingly.

They are 14 and 8, we are relaxed about food, I do meal plan but there is usually something kicking around if they are hungry. I just don't buy much 'junk' food so it is easy to not eat it.