Can your kids help themselves to food?

[Littlechocolatepumkins]

DC can already help themselves to fruit.

I was thinking of snacks somewhere accessible so after school for example I can say go help yourself to something. Or if they're hungry after dinner/ before bedtime. Breadsticks, popcorn, raisins etc or plain biscuits. Nothing too tempting!

I feel like i'm allowing DC too many sweets/treats and I need to reduce their intake. Oddly i feel like maybe giving them some control might be a good idea? Or is that stupid?

No. Those that do let them clearly have children that would be sensible or they don't have crap food in the house. Mine would eat all manner of shit all the time and not eat meals. They have to ask as I don't want them eating right before a meal. I can also test if they are actually hungry or just want to eat crap. If the accept the fruit, breadsticks or rice cakes they are hungry..If they say no they are just after crap. I do let them have junk, crisps a few times a week, small pack of cookies after school, small pack of sweets or small bar of chocolate after tea but they do need guidance.

The only times I say no is about an hour to hour and a half before tea, if they are using it as an excuse to not go to bed or if they have had loads. Mine sometimes have tea ( not tiny amounts), small dessert, fruit and then DD can ask for more and I think it's just greed.

Mine don't. Things like yoyos and yoghurts are pudding in our house. I try and keep snacks savoury and not close to meals.

Mine (4&8) always ask. Not sure if we have ever explicitly said they have to ask but they do.

They have three meals and an afternoon snack so don't really need to eat in between. I usually say yes to fruit/cheese/yoghurt/toast/crackers unless it's near a meal time.

Nope table service here not a buffet but I have a 5 year old and a toddler 😂

Older DC is allowed to get herself water though

TheBigFatMermaid - and others describing similar - how do you plan to move from that situation to DD managing her own intake as she grows up? Or school etc where she has her own pocket money. (I understand where you are coming from - I could probably do with a locked cupboard for myself!)

Yes, it’s their house too. I don’t buy sweets/chocolate anyway so they will make toast, cereal, fruit or peanut butter or something along those lines

Fruit is free access anytime.

Eldest always asks if he wants something. He has eyes bigger than his belly so this suits me.

Youngest is too small to reach anything and would happily spend all day snacking, so is a happy coincidence.

Fruit is full of sugar so I don't understand the virtue signalling that your kids have unlimited access to the fruit bowl but can't help themselves to a snack.

Quite simple in my case. Because they won't, because it's fruit 👍🏼

It's not virtue signalling? It's clearly healthier for a kid to be grazing on apples which has not just sugar but a decent whack of vitamins, fibre etc than haribo.

I mentioned it because I'd be happy if my kids helped themselves to fruit several times a day. (I didnt say they do!) I dont think think that's virtue signalling.

Nope

My Ds is 11 so has control of lunch at school.

He takes medication which reduces his appetite in the day so he eats more in the evening. If I am just cooking tea it’s no. Sometimes I send him in the kitchen to see what he fancies, then depending if I need it or I consider if I need it before I go shopping or too much of one food group I suggest alternatives.

I also might send him for a drink.

I'd be happy if my kids helped themselves to fruit several times a day

Several sugar hits is bad for teeth. Too much fruit is bad for digestion.

It's clearly healthier for a kid to be grazing on apples

It's not healthy to graze on fruit.

And no ones suggesting kids have haribos.

They just take it anyway and most of the time I don't mind. Usually things like toast, cereal, yogurts, pasta, toastie. They are 10 and 9 and I know I would hate to have my food controlled.

Tonight ds made pasta and pesto and dd had a bowl of crunchy nuts.

Sometimes when I hear them mooching in the kitchen when it's near to meal times I tell them not to eat anything and sometimes they will ask me for something specific. I am fairly relaxed about food though.

Free access, but they ask if it is something they need help with (sandwiches etc). They know not to eat if I am cooking dinner

Kids Are 4 and 7. They get their own cereal of a morning, then get a snack from me at around 10am. They always ask for biscuits or other sweet treats. Sometimes I say yes, most times they have to have fruit or nothing.

If I let ds1 have free reign he'd eat us out of house and home and quickly get overweight (like me). Ds2 probably wouldn't be an issue.

When they're older and I'm at work, and they're at senior school with their own keys and stuff I think they'll help themselves.

Yes - cereal bars, crackers and maybe other bits are in an accessible cupboard for this reason. Fruit is always out and available. They can get cucumber and my eldest can sort carrots for a snack. They always ask first, though.

Mine used to ask until they were about 14 - three meals a day is usually sufficient but then activities etc meant missed meals so they could ask for something. After about 14 it was pointless. My son and friends would come in and swallowed the contents of the fridge.

Now as young adults, if they’re home, they help themselves to whatever there is. I’d expect them to check before helping themselves to something that looked like it was for supper but otherwise a free rein.

We do have a treat large Le Creuset casserole with chocolate, sweets and biscuits people have given when they’ve come for supper etc. I don’t buy those and rarely have but we still have an amount. They can eat it if they want but my husband is the worst culprit and will sneak a square or two of Green and Blacks after supper.

Nope or they would never stop snacking and dinner would go to waste.

My kids wood survive solely on toast, crackers and yogurts if I let them grab food when they wanted, so they have to ask. If they could avoid mealtimes and just eat crap, they would. They’ve already torn through their trick or treat stashes as if they’ll self destruct by the end of the week.

They can have what they want whenever really. If we’re cooking and they come into the kitchen looking for food, we’ll tell them how long until dinner and they usually say they’ll wait.
We are pretty relaxed about food though.
We do have crap (crisps/biscuits/sweets etc) in the house along with other healthier options and they’re sensible about making decisions.
The older 2 (13 and 14) usually make themselves pitta and hummus when they get back from school, or cheese and crackers, and then will have a yoghurt or some biscuits.
Then eat dinner later, they just have a slightly smaller serving than if they hadn’t had a good snack when they got in.
We can afford to top up as and when so I’m not having to ration out things like bags of crisps/pitta breads or anything.
The youngest (7) one will tend to come and find me if he’s hungry and I’ll suggest a few things that he can go and get himself.
On the whole, if they’re hungry, they can have something to eat. If they just fancy something nice, that’s okay too, I do the same sometimes.

No. Mine are 6 and one of them would eat all day if allowed. I like them to ask so they are not stuffing themselves with fruit or snacks just before lunch or dinner. Food is within reach but I prefer them to ask, which they do.

Mine ask. Fruit is always available free-range, but other stuff isn’t.

They’re very capable of making toast, getting the biscuit tin out etc but I just think they’d eat more rubbish and less balanced meals, and I don’t really want to encourage snacking, to be honest. I don’t think people need snacks in general.

When they’re secondary school I’ll expect them to be more self-regulating, I suppose, and understand more of the costs of food and the implications of weight gain if you eat too much generally. They get good messages about it all so I’m hopeful.

Almost 14 y/o helps herself and 5.5y/o asks for anything other than fruit.

They’re both great eaters and very healthy weights.

Snacks or sandwiches yes, unless it's within an hour of a meal, but they do need to ask first so I can check the time and so I know what has been eaten - it's very frustrating thinking I have something I've bought when it's already been eaten.

I keep sweet/tempting items that don't need to be in the freezer or fridge in a visible place in the front room so I can keep an eye on it (recently added to quite a bit from recent festivities) and that I restrict more heavily for all of us. It's kinda blended into the background now that they don't even ask most of the time so that they barely ask anymore unless it's the usual time for it though I think if one of mine were more fixated on sweets I'd probably need a different plan.