Sneezed and farted

[MonoClue]

So, as the title says.
I don’t have to be anywhere today so got up and made my first coffee of the day. It’s got that first chill of autumn here so I decided to take my coffee back to bed and enjoy that lovely snuggly feeling of a duvet and MN lie in.
I got back into bed and got comfy; it was blissful!
Anyway I had a sneezing fit, one of those that you seem to be constantly sneezing. Annoying as hell.
But every time I sneezed I let out a short but violent fart, and because of the way I was lay in bed they rattled up if you know what I mean. (It was weirdly pleasant )
So of course being a grown up I got the giggles. Between sneezing, farting and giggling like a mad woman I had tears rolling down my face and all I could think was “I snapped and farted”.
My DD came in to check on me because I woke her due to the prolonged sneezing, stood watching me then shook her head and walked away rolling her eyes.
By this time I was a sneezing, snotty, farting, giggly mess who also desperately needed to pee.
Please tell me I’m not the only one. I keep thinking about it now and start giggling again whilst my DD just shakes her head sadly and murmurs about nursing homes.

How childish

Are you me ? 😂

I sneezed at work once and I KNEW I’d fart. Clenched soooo tight that when I finally sneezed, I properly hurt my bum hole. And farted anyway.
So for two days I just giggled until I cried Andy anus hurt

Not sure about Andy’s anus hurting. But mine did!

I think I’ve met Andy Anus, he’s a bit of an arse

Definitely a tight arse 😆

I tend not to "snart" as it's called in our house but my kids do especially my 10 yo DD! Quite often she does it when she comes in my bed in the morning. I find it hilarious as she gets all offended if you laugh at her farting anyway. And her being offended just makes it even funnier!

I've no idea where she has got this attitude from cos we all like a burp and fart.

I also like to say "Uber" as I burp! The kids reminded me yesterday that I hadn't done it for a while!

Ha ha this has me creased! I think farts are hilarious! Especially unexpected ones!

Daily occurrence with me

Wow. Are we actually that childish we laugh at farts?

Jokes, that's actually made my morning laughing at farts is one of life's great pleasures.

Plus the tighter I try to squeeze to stop the fart coming out the higher pitched the fart noise 😂 I actually squeaked out my bum in Aldi !
I was desperate not to fart

Andy anus!! In stiches here.

Once I was so so so hungover I was vomiting so violently I farted at the same time. Oh the shame. DH (then fairly new bf) found it hilarious and has never let me forget it. He's such an Andy anus.

I'm actually perfectly lovely . A friend sneeze farted and managed to get snot on his wife at a party once. I laughed so hard I farted. It was a vicious circle

I love a good fart story, I find them hilarious

Keep em coming (the stories, not the farts)

Cupcakery the image of you squeaking round Aldi has finished me off this morning, may never stop laughing!

The sneezing and farting would have been enough to have me laughing. It was the accompanying fanny ripples that finished me off

It's an every day occurrence at my house, we fart we giggle and then fart cos we are giggling it's a vicious circle, And I've just nearly peed my pants reading this to my dp

Fanny ripples! Laughing even more now

If you cough and fart at the same time, the correct term is "through cough". Perhaps you've had a "through sneeze".
I also find farts very funny. I also present the joke my 4 year old told me this morning: -
"Why did the duck?"
"Why did the duck what?"
"It's BOTTOM!!!"
Then he ran away giggling.

Fanny ripples

Farting is always hilarious.
As a former teacher I remember how quickly a quiet, hardworking class can dissolve into hysterical disarray in reaction to even the smallest fart.

The power of farts is considerable.

I "through cough" occasionally these days. I thought it was old age but judging by you lot it appears not.

Isn't a fanny ripple a"Queef"?

I keep laughing and saying to DH "Just imagine 30 little bums in DS' reception class all randomly tooting off"

I coughed and farted in front of my sister (I am quite heavily pregnant) and her horrified reaction made me laugh and slightly wet myself. Apparently she's never having children now

I once had to stop and let dp past me walking up the stairs because i was letting off a little pufft with each step

DF treated me and my DM to a Toby Restaurant yes that long ago, my DF coughed, sneezed and farted all at the same time, which me and DF wet ourselves at, but with every laugh he farted again!! I was in so much pain, my DM's face made me worse! Thank goodness the couple on the table next to us had the same humour. Apparently, the waitress had to walk run away (I worked there at the time and know the waitress will have gone out to the back courtyard to probably piss her pants laughing), I know that the Chef was told as he asked me about it the following day, I couldn't speak for laughing I Queefed yesterday and DH wet himself laughing, we are all children in our family

I find farts hilarious.

My DD was taking part in some terribly serious horse thing at the weekend - all very proper

Every time her horse jumped she farted loudly. I was absolutely beside myself.