Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

To continue Torn's tacky and grim thread...

401 replies

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 20/08/2018 20:02

Girls were finally allowed to wear grey cords at my school in winter when I was 15. I have never worn a skirt in winter since.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
SneakyGremlins · 21/08/2018 22:30

Torn, PLEASE.

TornFromTheInside · 21/08/2018 22:31

Oh God, my ribs are hurting... Sneaky keeps kicking me in them!

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 21/08/2018 22:34

Unfortunately, Grems, he doesn't have an off switch. Not one that I've found, anyway.

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 21/08/2018 22:36

I bet I could find one Halo

TornFromTheInside · 21/08/2018 22:37

Well I do sleep!

SneakyGremlins · 21/08/2018 22:38

Alone, presumably?

cuddling a "1000 worst jokes" book?

TornFromTheInside · 21/08/2018 22:39

Did I just hear the snapping of rubber gloves?

TornFromTheInside · 21/08/2018 22:40

I'm never alone with my Darth Vader teddy bear.

SneakyGremlins · 21/08/2018 22:40

Gloves? Yeah, we'll go with that.

SneakyGremlins · 21/08/2018 22:41

I have a teddy named Mr Smuggles who has "I love you" written on his left foot who I sleep with every night.

I'm very manly, me Grin

TornFromTheInside · 21/08/2018 22:42

I have a little donkey called Mr Smuggles! he used to be a drugs mule.

MrsCatE · 21/08/2018 22:45

The drink you speak of: was it as nice as “It's Frothy Man" Cresta? This whole thread is pervetastic Viz stylie. Or probably just my filthy mind. Fnarr fnarr.

SneakyGremlins · 21/08/2018 22:46

"used to be" 🤔

SneakyGremlins · 21/08/2018 22:47

Hi MrsCat Grin

TornFromTheInside · 21/08/2018 22:49

Who's millie tant?

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 00:06

Who's millie tant?

So you've never read Viz!

TornFromTheInside · 22/08/2018 00:08

Was asking who here would be her! Do keep up!

SneakyGremlins · 22/08/2018 00:09

You're a Bad Liar Torn

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 22/08/2018 00:09

Probably me.

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 00:13

Well I do sleep! No you fucking don't Torn. You post 24/7.

Can I raise you all: Ooo. We used to get proper wasted on this!

To continue Torn's tacky and grim thread...
KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 00:14

I'm deffo one of the Fat Slags. Those girls had a great time! (obviously, I'm WAY thinner than they were, although with larger breasts)

SneakyGremlins · 22/08/2018 00:20

No idea what you're on about Confused

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 00:28

Is that to me, Sneaky? Or are you commenting on someone further upthread?

This thread is not the most linear on here!

SneakyGremlins · 22/08/2018 00:33

Who is Millie tant and who are the fat slags? besides my mother

KeepServingTheDrinks · 22/08/2018 00:52

oh So YOU haven't read Viz Sneaky?

Viz was a comic aimed at adults back in the 1980s.

The ones mentioned on here are female characters, but it was a comic aimed mostly at boys. There was Billy the Fish, which was about football (I didn't like/get that one). There was Sid the Sexist (which I REALLY liked). He might have been from Newcastle (there was a distinctly northern theme to the whole thing).

There was (now I might get this wrong) Biffa Bacon(???) which I think was a take off of a strip on the Dandy, where they just used to lay into each other and punch the shit out of everyone. They might have been the inspiration for "Shameless"

The Fat Slags were my favourites. Two girls (of generous proportions) and their tag-line was (along the lines of) "oh, I don't fancy yours much... here come the fat slags". They had a lot of sex. One of the pictures that really stays with me was them going to MaccyDs and trying to slide in on the benches where the tables are screwed in and complaining that they design them small cos they can't get their bellies in. Or them sunbathing topless (because brown boobs are dead sexy) but complaining about men "raping them with their eyes" (all the men are oblivious).

I don't know if it's google-able, but Viz is well worth checking out!

Millie Tant epitomised a certain kind of 1980s feminist. She objected to letter boxes (red and pointed, like a phallus) and if she was hospitalised, demanded to be treated by a black, gay, female, dwarf doctor etc. Her 'strip' wasn't that funny. Unlike the fat slags, who were hilarious.