Well well well!!
I've just joined mumsnet, was going to post something about SimpleMinds in the Music question, decide to do a search to see if it's been answered before and what do I find?? Direct access to Jim Kerr's brain via Liz Jones in the Sleb Twaddle...
I wasn't asking for that much... 
Anyway... I've read her columns now (didn't know her before) and I think
1/ It's Jim Kerr, I'm pretty sure... about the alcohol thing, see interview on YouTube on the Wright Stuff. I think he probably did have to give up. Also he might say he is single if they don't want it known. I admire your tenacity, anyway 
2/ Really, about her personality, don't you think all it boils down to is that she is an extreme control freak? Which is not her fault. Reading an interview of her with the Guardian, she actually looks like she has textbook Asperger's (obviously, the way it presents in women). She might be happier if she looked that way. She would still have the same problems, but she wouldn't have all this hatred/self-loathing. God I'm a control freak as well, and reading how unhappy she is, is forcing me to want to help 
Good on her for making full use of her abilities in her career, drive, focus seeingeverythinginblackandwhite passion ...
I'm taking note.
Anyway some bits of the columns I found quite touching, so best of luck to them.
Hope she's happy too...