I used to be on the game

[Oldhooker]

I was a hooker for about 15 years. I now have a flat in Kensington and live in the Cotswolds with my two children.
My clients were very wealthy so I suppose you could say I was a high class hooker. I saved up enough to be able to escape that life and have two children and a husband.
Life is as boring and as settled as it gets.

Which is why I probably won’t. I have been thinking about it for years but never done it.

I’m so sorry you were abused in this way. I’d like to ask what do you think about those that say ‘sex work is work’, a free choice women should be able to make, versus those who describe it as prostitution, always exploitative and not something a woman who has free choice (ie no financial issues or trauma) will do?

Very much so.

Did any of the clients get feelings for you or even admit this to you?

5K for an evening? Did you stay overnight

What you went through as a child is obviously traumatic. Have you had therapy/ counselling for it?

That is a very interesting question.
Obviously, at first, I was exploited. I am a good actress and used to pretend I was a glamorous film star in a Hollywood movie. My mother and some clients were charged. Massive trauma at the time.

But the, despite these awful experiences I continued. What does that say about me? Am I a bad person? I was free to make my own choices but I still continued in that line. I was making an enormous amount of money from it. You could say I was then beginning to exploit men who paid me to be their “girlfriend” for the night.
The fact that I stopped before my looks stopped me means I realised that I was disgusting. I still feel dirty and probably borderline OCD. I still think people can smell it on me.
For me, it became a free choice. So why shouldn’t women be able to make that choice if they practice legally?
i had little formal education. What else was out there for me?
I was a voracious reader, and was keenly interested in current affairs and history. Probably all I was able to do. My mother used to destroy my books which was upsetting. After I left home, I was able to get myself a degree. I don’t think I would have been able to do that very easily working all hours in a supermarket.
Work in a supermarket was all I was able to do. I could have been working there forever.
For a lot of women, however, they are sucked into it because of addiction so there is no free choice.

It is a very good question but extremely complicated.
so the short answer is “I don’t know”. Maybe that would be a better book than “my life with my knickers down”

Often.

Don't write a book if you want to stay anonymous. Belle de Jour got hunted by tabloids for six years until she eventually made it public herself - and she only did the actual job for a year and a half.

Have a read here if you don't know already
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brooke_Magnanti

If you do go ahead, you need an agent and an accountant.

I am ashamed to say “”sometimes”. That is why, as a run on from the last question “did they get feelings for you” I was able to get money out of them. Often it was “I have seen a nice dress/necklace”. I think the business term for it is “upselling”
Most, not all, were foreign and had untold wealth. Was I exploiting them? Were they exploiting me?I really don’t know.

What a horrible childhood OP. I’m glad you’re happy now.

on the main point I’ll be honest I think the time where people were interested in buying/ reading these stories has passed. Quite a noughties genre.

but at least that means you can keep it quiet

I think you carried on doing it after you left home because it was all you knew. We're most comfortable with familiarity hence people staying in abusive relationships or potentially dangerous behaviour like escort work because there is an emotionally safe aspect to it if you're familiar with it.

An interesting life to say the least OP.

What do you think your husband’s reaction would be, and do you seek some relief in telling him so you don’t have to carry such a heavy secret?

Also, if you were only dealing with the wealthy, were you ever approached by women? I’ve often wondered if that happens.

Instead of a book, is there not an online anonymous blog, secrets of a high class hooker , kind of almost taking the trauma back and telling some stories “based” on true stories, without having to be anything other than anonymous?

I have worked with clients who have absolutely managed to retain their anonymity when their books have been published - if you self-publish/hybrid, you also keep control of the whole process in a very different way to working with a traditional publisher.

The first step is definitely to look at what you'd like to get out of it - I've worked with people who don't want to publish at all, they just want to tell their story for their own needs (whatever those may be), and I've worked with some who start Hollywood casting in their heads before a word is written!

Thank you for the interesting thread @Oldhooker 🙏🏻
In one of your posts you said:
But there is a reason men are unable to form a proper relationship and they have to buy the girlfriend experience. So, no. I would never have wanted to be in a relationship with my clients
Are you willing to explain the reason that these men are unable to form proper relationships?

I disagree that all 13 year olds are “pretty”, except perhaps to the sort of man more interested in her inexperience than her face. The spotty, blobby, greasy-haired 13 year old that I was during that year of the first bra, then periods, was not by anyone definition “pretty”.

Sorry OP if your account reflects your youthful experience. I’m not sure I buy the pitch, and definitely wouldn’t buy the book.

That tv series with Billie Piper playing a prostitute was quite good, though I only saw a couple of episodes.

They were exploiting you definitely not the other way round!

I never saw it but wasnt it criticised as portraying the Happy Hooker myth

Another very good question.

There were lots of reasons to be honest there were some who were as messed up as me, and had had abusive or difficult childhoods. Or had been shamed by previous partners. If anyone watched a series called “band of gold”, think Curly from there.
Mostly they were just a bit strange or awkward. If you know any men who never married, you will almost always think “a bit weird”. They were mostly like that.

I looked like a child until I was in my thirties. So maybe that had something to do with it.
I would say a lot of the men were very self absorbed and I had to listen to a load of nonsense from them.
My mother allowed women to do things to me and made me do things to women.
I was never asked by women after I left home but I know people who have.
I probably would have done. But the most profitable clients were those who want the girlfriend experience.

I would guess women would not want this. They were probably just curious.
I know people will be disgusted by this.

If I were you OP and if you thread is genuine, I wouldn't write a book I would seek therapy. Writing a book will stir up all sorts of experiences you have buried very deep and I can't see that being a good thing for your mental health considering what your up-bringing was like.

I think you are right to be honest. I have omitted some of the more horrendous detail, and maybe that would have to be included in the book.
probably the main reason I would not do it, would be the worry of someone finding out and the lifestyle I have managed to build crumbling.

Thank you for answering my question OP.
I'm so sorry for what you've been through, nothing about your childhood was your fault🌷💙

Does the secret you carry about your past affect you do you think? Do you ever want to tell your DH? (I am not saying you should BTW, just wondering about the impact on your MH)

Yes, if I were you that would be a major worry of mine too.

If that happened it could seriously mess up the lives of your children as well which would be another excellent reason not to write a book.

Op have you managed to gain a healthy physical relationship with your dh?
My first dh forced me daily...its difficult now to allow myself to enjoy sex...