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AMA
Original poster

AMA I do online kink/domination work

138 replies

Cassie242 · 30/06/2023 16:39

I was posting on another thread and got suggestions to do an AMA from other posters, so I obliged!
Basic info .. I started roughly 6 years ago selling worn items, tights, knickers etc, and now primarily for the past few years I do online domination, mainly financial domination, orgasm control/denial with chastity etc, however still sell items but my main area is now online dom.

OP posts:
zaramysaviour · 01/07/2023 19:42

Thanks for starting this thread! Could you pls PM me the names of a couple of sites that you use? I'm in a D/s relationship so think I'd have much of the headspace/culture part sorted!

Original poster
Cassie242 · 01/07/2023 19:50

MykonosMaiden · 01/07/2023 17:10

Oops sorry, my message was a bit flippant.
To me, logically this seems like a better option to start with, compared to taking your clothes off straightaway. Especially if you have a 'reputation' to worry about.
But people jump straight to the latter. Is it because they don't know this route exists? Or it's too niche?

@HirplesWithHaggis I was talking about people who already want to do this. The camgirl route is the most popular.

Show quote history

Not flippant at all! 😊
It might be thst its a niche and not as well known, I only found out about it initially through other sellers advertising it, and then just researched it as best I could. There were a few YouTube vids of dommes explaining the basics and what they do, giving advice.

For me I knew from the outset that I didn't want to do explicit content etc and so it sort of fitted for that reason too.
One thing I have found interesting is that American subs have a thing for the British accent, so maybe that helped me stand out to some extent too 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
Cassie242 · 01/07/2023 20:02

zaramysaviour · 01/07/2023 19:42

Thanks for starting this thread! Could you pls PM me the names of a couple of sites that you use? I'm in a D/s relationship so think I'd have much of the headspace/culture part sorted!

It definitely helps having that mindset! I'm quite introverted in regular life but in terms of the bedroom im definitely more dom, and find it easy to be that way if its one on one, or via a screen for sure!
I'm aware there are dom/sub couples who live out that lifestyle, no idea how prevalent that is though.

OP posts:
user9630721458 · 01/07/2023 20:25

Many thanks for your replies. Stay safe and protect yourself and your future, I couldn't do it but you have presented an interesting topic with thoughtful replies.

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/07/2023 20:57

Back in the days of Handbag I became friends with a RL pro-Domme in Florida and ended up spending a few days with her and sitting in on a couple of sessions. My god, those guys could take some punishment!! As soon as the sessions finished both sides dropped out of character and had a normal chat.

Original poster
Cassie242 · 01/07/2023 22:55

user9630721458 · 01/07/2023 20:25

Many thanks for your replies. Stay safe and protect yourself and your future, I couldn't do it but you have presented an interesting topic with thoughtful replies.

Aw thank you! 😊
I'm trying my best to reply to all the questions! Harder than it appears lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Cassie242 · 01/07/2023 23:02

Eyesopenwideawake · 01/07/2023 20:57

Back in the days of Handbag I became friends with a RL pro-Domme in Florida and ended up spending a few days with her and sitting in on a couple of sessions. My god, those guys could take some punishment!! As soon as the sessions finished both sides dropped out of character and had a normal chat.

Yes it's an odd dynamic, I've heard that too! These intense sessions and then a totally normal chat afterwards!
I've not done real time, its not really my scene, but mad respect to the dommes that do that! And I've no idea either how these guys stand there getting kicked in the balls 😆 and pay for the privilege.. but each to their own lol

OP posts:
Veryverycalmnow · 01/07/2023 23:21

Do you think any of the men who pay you have wives or is this not discussed? I don't mean this in a critical way.

Is it always men or do you get women contacting you for anything?

Original poster
Cassie242 · 02/07/2023 02:52

Veryverycalmnow · 01/07/2023 23:21

Do you think any of the men who pay you have wives or is this not discussed? I don't mean this in a critical way.

Is it always men or do you get women contacting you for anything?

The regular subs I have don't have wives, two of them are in chastity devices so that would be awkward! Personally i prefer if they're single, not just for the obvious moral dilemma but because they tend to be more committed. The guys buying knickers I would assume they're single as they're getting parcels delivered to their house 🤔 although im sure they'll be some that are.
Early on there was an older guy who talked A LOT .. he would buy stuff occasionally but i got the impression he was quite a lonely, sad sort of bloke, in a sexless marriage apparently and mainly he would just want to chat about his life.

Ive never had a woman buy any items or want to be dominated no, not once. Although a few sellers seem to buy content off other sellers, photos or vids, whether theyre bisexual Ive no idea, but ive never had a female buy worn items etc off me, or ask to be dominated. It would be interested if it did happen 😆 however Im not sure i could dominate a woman, it would be a different dynamic and I'm not sure i would enjoy it, or know what was expected. Men are a lot easier to play with.

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 03/07/2023 01:28

Do you vacuum pack your used knickers? I looked into this a while ago and found myself completely sympathetic to postal/delivery drivers having to handle biological, um, stuff...

Original poster
Cassie242 · 03/07/2023 05:03

HirplesWithHaggis · 03/07/2023 01:28

Do you vacuum pack your used knickers? I looked into this a while ago and found myself completely sympathetic to postal/delivery drivers having to handle biological, um, stuff...

Yes I vac seal them! Either that or a sandwich bag. I try to add little touches too with a hand-written card sprayed with my perfume, so its more personalised.

Speaking of postal workers, I still get that nervous energy when if I'm sending recorded delivery and the person at the till at the p-office asks 'whats in the parcel?' 😆 .. when I was primarily selling items I'd be in there a lot and would invariably get the same lady, I used to convince myself she was suss but looking back I doubt she would have guessed, or cared really.

OP posts:
WunWun · 04/07/2023 14:08

When you register as self employed, what do you say you do?

Do you report underwear selling as just selling clothes?

Original poster
Cassie242 · 04/07/2023 18:06

WunWun · 04/07/2023 14:08

When you register as self employed, what do you say you do?

Do you report underwear selling as just selling clothes?

I'm wary to give out legal advice as I'm not qualified to do so, I have a friend who thankfully sorts out the tax side of things for me! I put online adult model or something similar, however HMRC don't care what you do (as long as its legal of course) their objective is to get taxable revenue but a lot of people worry about what to say!

Personally when I started earning a lot with the financial domination work I wanted everything above board regarding tax. I'm not sure how that works however if someone is just selling one or two pairs of knickers a week for some extra cash and when/if that needs to be declared, and at what point it's classified as a business compared to someone selling innocuous stuff on Facebook marketplace for extra cash, I have no idea.

My suspicion is that most sellers who are selling the odd pair of knickers here and there probably aren't declaring it as earnings but thats just a suspicion. Whether thats right or wrong hopefully someone could clarify.

OP posts:
User63847484848 · 04/07/2023 21:36

You can make £1000 a year before you have to declare it as a business.

Original poster
Cassie242 · 04/07/2023 23:14

User63847484848 · 04/07/2023 21:36

You can make £1000 a year before you have to declare it as a business.

Ah! Thanks for your input 😊
Genuinely no idea how many sellers are declaring, when I started out the majority seemed to be doing it as a side hustle, very few were seeing it as a full time job.

And you'd get a lot doing it for a few months then disappearing, others had been selling for years and had built up a regular clientele, those sellers definitely viewed it as more of a business. When I started out they were the ones I would hassle for advice, the ones with 100s of reviews, and by and large they were really helpful. I wish I'd asked them now if they were paying tax etc 😆

OP posts:
Creepyrosemary · 05/07/2023 05:06

Please pm me where you sell your knickers.

dancinginthesky · 05/07/2023 06:13

Do you ever worry about your dna ending up in the wrong place from selling used underwear etc? Like falsely being associated with a crime

Original poster
Cassie242 · 05/07/2023 06:31

dancinginthesky · 05/07/2023 06:13

Do you ever worry about your dna ending up in the wrong place from selling used underwear etc? Like falsely being associated with a crime

Can't say I worry about that no! That would be very convoluted although would make a good episode of Shetland 😆

One thing I used to worry about was what if a buyer's wife or gf opened a parcel or read some messages and being involved in some domestic, thankfully that's never happened. Another worry is payments as companies like paypal or cashapp have a habit of freezing accounts if its flagged as adult content, which is why I withdraw money as soon as it goes in.
Recently my one 'oh shit' moment was with a sub in chastity where I literally lost his key and had a minor meltdown for a few days, that was pretty scary. Im quite OCD in terms of being super organised so that sort of thing rarely happens!

OP posts:
User63847484848 · 05/07/2023 07:09

But you said you don’t do things in person? So why did you need a physical key?

Original poster
Cassie242 · 05/07/2023 08:11

User63847484848 · 05/07/2023 07:09

But you said you don’t do things in person? So why did you need a physical key?

I do a key-holding service, via a po box type company. Not in person. It sounds more complicated than it is 😆 its not something I do very often however. Only had two guys ask for this in 6 years.

OP posts:
User63847484848 · 05/07/2023 09:32

Right so there’s only one key that gets sent in the post? sorry just trying to figure out how it works!
seems kind of high risk! But can’t be a spare otherwise why would you have panicked about losing it

Original poster
Cassie242 · 05/07/2023 10:42

User63847484848 · 05/07/2023 09:32

Right so there’s only one key that gets sent in the post? sorry just trying to figure out how it works!
seems kind of high risk! But can’t be a spare otherwise why would you have panicked about losing it

Its fine! I was trying to keep it uncomplicated as I assume a lot of posters won't know what we're talking about 😆
Basically you get two keys with a device, I'm mailed one, the sub has the other as an emergency key, my method is usually a glass smash box at home. This sub decided to put it in a lockup instead to avoid 'being tempted' apparently, and it turns out that idea wasn't exactly a good one, hence my momentary panic. I can't go into too much detail but we've arrived at a solution that suits us both now.
He pays me a key-holding fee per week.

OP posts:
Chocolateship · 05/07/2023 10:43

Do you genuinely not get creeped out by these blokes?

TolkiensFallow · 05/07/2023 12:46

I think this might be my favourite AMA. Good for you op.

Original poster
Cassie242 · 05/07/2023 13:48

Chocolateship · 05/07/2023 10:43

Do you genuinely not get creeped out by these blokes?

Generally no.. more amused or bewildered at times 🤔 there are times when I honestly think "this is bonkers!"
Occasionally I do get the ick if someome doesn't respect boundaries or is one of those blokes just after free chat.. they're usually the creepiest ones actually, the free-loaders and you can spot them a mile off.
I think ideally you have to be pretty broad-minded at times, I've pretty much heard it all, for better or worse!

OP posts: