AMA I do online kink/domination work

[Cassie242]

I was posting on another thread and got suggestions to do an AMA from other posters, so I obliged!
Basic info .. I started roughly 6 years ago selling worn items, tights, knickers etc, and now primarily for the past few years I do online domination, mainly financial domination, orgasm control/denial with chastity etc, however still sell items but my main area is now online dom.

Does it hurt? What’s your safe word?

Do you have to register as self employed? Would you go back to a 'normal' job and how would you explain the work you are doing at interviews?

What do your partner/family/friends think you do?

How much did you sell the contents of your bathroom bin for?

I don't think it is that easy. I imagine it could be very emotionally draining, having to interact in just the right way with each individual client. Having others judge you for interacting with sleazy men, as evidenced in this thread by a couple of posters. Being criticised for taking money from "married men and families". Maybe having to lie to friends and family about how you earn your money. Having to deal with your partner's attitude, as OP found.

There's not much physical risk. But emotionally, you need a certain temperament and attitude, or it could be very damaging.

Hope this helps! To be honest nowadays I tend to focus on the dominaton side, and sell knickers etc every now and then. In the beginning when I was just selling items I would charge 30-40 quid for 24hr wear knickers, 20-25 for tights, bras were more expensive as I find it dificult to part with those elusive comfy bras!

The problem with phone sex lines and cam sites is they ususlly tend to take a sizeable cut of earnings, so personally I would sell items on the selling sites and advertise phone services and charge an amount for say a 15 min, 30 min call and avoid the middle guy. Ive seen sellers listing phone chat, voice messages etc if you want to guard your privacy. Always get paid up front for any request however, that's a biggie to remember.

I don't want to give the impression that it's easy, like I say the first few years I also had a 9-5 and was doing the selling to make extra money. It's only been the past 2-3 years that I've been making a lot of money, but it took a long time, building up clients, and researching the domme niche, especially findom, to get to the point where I could do this full time. Its been a bit of a slog especially early on. Literally my aim at the beginning was to make some extra money and work around my job, I had no expectations beyond that.

It depends.. I obviously spend it on day to day stuff, and I do tend to save as much of it as I can really. If there are certain things I want, perfume, stuff for the house, whether that be household items or stuff like bed sheets, i stick it on my wishlist. Or anything frivolous that I'd like but don't want enough to buy myself, I'll put that as a wishlist item too.
From time to time a sub might ask if I've bought anything nice, and i tend to say I've bought some sexy lingerie or expensive shoes when really Ive bunged the money in my savings account, but that's boring! 😆

Are you registered for self assessment and completing tax returns?

Yes I'm registered as self employed. At the moment i definitely wouldn't go back to a normal job, not out of choice anyway 😣
In terms of what I would say in that scenario I would i suppose have to be as vague as possible about an online business, if questions were asked.

My current partner knows what I do. My parents think I'm still at my last job.. with covid and working from home, and the fact that some from that sector who I'm still in contact with are still doing it remote, makes it easier to swallow, plus they live at the other end of the country so its not a situation where we see each other all the time or are in each other lives so much. My close friends all know about what I do, they're all supportive and one or two nag me for details.. they think its all a bit bonkers i think, but in a light hearted way.

This was 4 years ago! I honesty cant remember, but probably too much!

It's definitely not easy, and its taken a long time and some luck really to find a niche and a handful of high paying regulars. Im under no illusions im anything special, just a mixture of hand work and a bit of luck too.
There are also days when I don't particularly feel like Mistress lets say X .. for whatever reason, stress, ill, I'm not in that head space, so sometimes I'll power through, other times I'm honest and just say I'm not well and luckily the regular subs will be sympathetic. Like I say i try to weed out the needy or demanding subs as they're more bother than its worth, and I'm in a position where i can turn these types down if im getting that vibe that they'll be hard work.

Yes! We have to really, even cam models if you're earning enough have to register. I guess not everyone does, but I try to do everything by the book, so to speak. Its not worth the risk.

Do you think there's a paid online demand for subs in the same way that there's a demand for Dommes?

Do you have any history with poor mental health, or do you worry that doing this work might affect your MH in the future?

Same

I tried selling my underwear on one of those sites once. I didn't actually manage to sell any but I did get men in the DMs wanting to chat about it. Was that your experience OP? Do knicker buyers want to chat about it a lot?

@Cassie242 is it ok if I dm you (assuming I can work out how to!)

I don't know how it works on the app, but on the desktop there are ... to the right at the bottom of each post. Click on them and you get a range of options, the second of which is "DM".

Oops sorry, my message was a bit flippant.
To me, logically this seems like a better option to start with, compared to taking your clothes off straightaway. Especially if you have a 'reputation' to worry about.
But people jump straight to the latter. Is it because they don't know this route exists? Or it's too niche?

@HirplesWithHaggis I was talking about people who already want to do this. The camgirl route is the most popular.

Interesting! Ok.. so my observations are that there are probably more what we call insta dommes than actual subs if you're looking at places like twitter etc and very few paying subs vs these insta dommes. You'll tend to get a lot of guys wanting free attention, and when I say insta dommes I mean the young women who pop up online and just demand money with no real idea of the scene, and a load of fake subs who don't want to pay, just like the idea of it.

Then you have the super high end dommes who have the clip stores and hundreds of thousands of twitter followers who get a lot of the attention who can demand payments up front before any correspondence is made. I'm kind of in the middle, I don't use twitter or the other social media spaces and it just attracts fake subs. I've got a handful of regular paying subs and can't be arsed with chasing potential subs, or chasing that who twitter, OF scene.

Fortunately I don't! I suppose I'm more an introvert than extrovert in social situations, and like my own company, im terms of depression or anything of that sort thankfully I've not experienced that.

Oh for sure! There are guys on the buying sites that just want free chat and not buy anything. What helps is clicking on their profile and looking at their reviews, how many they've bought, if someone has 0 reviews or purchases then they're probably a time waster. And if they were just after free chat they would be blocked!