Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

I was in a relationship with a drug dealer

129 replies

roseblushes · 21/12/2021 14:49

And spent a lot of time in that world around other dealers, seeing what it was like.

Stuck in isolating and my friend suggested this would be a good AMA to do. Not sure if anyone would be interested but happy to answer any questions!

OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:13

@babouchette

This thread is so interesting and I admire your frankness.

Did he ever try to get you involved with any criminal activity?

How did the relationship end?

He would sometimes ask me to drop him off to places or to take him to pick up large quantities of drugs, the answer was always no. Apart from that he never asked for me to "help" in any other way.

It ended because it was all getting too violent (or I was only just realising) and he was becoming overly possessive over me. I also educated myself and became aware of the weight of what he was doing, it was not something I wanted to be a part of and goes against my morals. I felt really guilty and so stupid when I realised.

I also worked on myself/my self esteem and started getting over my attraction to men in positions of power/higher status.

Leaving him was really hard and I still think about him everyday.

OP posts:
FFSFFSFFS · 21/12/2021 19:14

What is women's status in the industry?

In entertainment women are almost always portrayed either as "eye candy" who appear to not have the power of speech and just hang on men's arms until shushed away or totally ignorant of the whole thing.

It always annoys me how women are presented as just props....

In real life it is as sexist an industry as it seems. To be clear - I'm not advocating scholarships to increase female representation in drug dealing - but I've always wondered.

Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:14

@TheRigatonini

Thanks OP, just saw your update *@roseblushes*..! How high up in the chain was your ex?
Not at the very top, but high enough up that he wasn't actually doing any of the selling himself and had people working for him.

His name was quite well known by those involved in the drugs scene and those who weren't.

OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:19

@FFSFFSFFS

What is women's status in the industry?

In entertainment women are almost always portrayed either as "eye candy" who appear to not have the power of speech and just hang on men's arms until shushed away or totally ignorant of the whole thing.

It always annoys me how women are presented as just props....

In real life it is as sexist an industry as it seems. To be clear - I'm not advocating scholarships to increase female representation in drug dealing - but I've always wondered.

So, you are right. To SO many of them, women are just eye candy and cheating is rife. Referring to women as "it" and thinking with their dicks, women basically being used as sex toys.

I always saw women being treated really well to their faces, but hearing the men talk about them amongst themselves was disgusting at times.

Women did have the power of speech, especially the girlfriends. They would be taken seriously in that sense, if they had something to say. But then again they were more likely to be dismissed than a man.

I say "they" because my ex treated me well until the end, but then I have no idea how he spoke behind my back. He has a reputation for sleeping around now, I think he does see women as objects and I wish I saw that at the time.

It is a sexist industry, dominated by men. Women are essentially walking holes and a status symbol. The more attractive the women you're sleeping with/in a relationship with, the more "clout".

I also only ever came across one female drug dealer and she was lower levels.

OP posts:
RobertSmithsLipstick · 21/12/2021 19:19

Did your parents realise what he did for a living?

MirrorMirrorApplePie · 21/12/2021 19:23

How much money would you say he was making?

Great thread by the way - thanks for your honesty!

Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:29

@RobertSmithsLipstick

Did your parents realise what he did for a living?
They knew that he used to be involved in drugs, i told them his cover story. They know now that it was a lie all along.
OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:30

@MirrorMirrorApplePie

How much money would you say he was making?

Great thread by the way - thanks for your honesty!

It's hard to say. He hid money in a lot of different places, i remember one time him hiding a bag of money at a friend's house with £150k in it
OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:36

I forgot to add in regards to the treatment of women, it was a big deal at one point as it came out that a lot of the men had secretly being recording themselves having sex and sending it to each other on snap chat.

OP posts:
BiscuitLover3678 · 21/12/2021 19:36

How many levels up the chain are there? Do you know how many people are involved and do they work in certain areas or up the whole country?

Flaxmeadow · 21/12/2021 19:40

What drugs was he involved in dealing? Heroin? Crack cocaine?

Do you feel ashamed now for having been with someone who destroyed lives and communities and that you also profited from it?

Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:43

@BiscuitLover3678

How many levels up the chain are there? Do you know how many people are involved and do they work in certain areas or up the whole country?
It's not very clear cut. So many people do so many different things. There are countless people involved, on all kinds of levels and way more than you'd think. Absolutely all over the country too, quite literally everywhere.
OP posts:
BiscuitLover3678 · 21/12/2021 19:43

Is he scared of going to jaol? Do you know why he does it?
This might sound like a silly question but does he still have a normal life, like waych tv and go out for dinner ans stuff? 🤣

Also where does he put all his money? In a busines?

BiscuitLover3678 · 21/12/2021 19:44

@roseblushes

I forgot to add in regards to the treatment of women, it was a big deal at one point as it came out that a lot of the men had secretly being recording themselves having sex and sending it to each other on snap chat.
That's so awful! Did you hang out with a a of the other women?
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:44

What drugs was he involved in dealing? Heroin? Crack cocaine?

Mainly weed and cocaine. Also diazepam, codeine syrup and viagra. Sometimes crack, never heroin or anything else.

OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:45

Do you feel ashamed now for having been with someone who destroyed lives and communities and that you also profited from it?

Incredibly ashamed, it keeps me up at night. I wish I knew then, what I knew now. I tell myself that I can't turn back time, but can do my best to be a good person and give back to the community now. The people I used to be friends with think I am utterly ridiculous and dramatic for feeling this way.

OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:47

Is he scared of going to jaol? Do you know why he does it?

He always said he wasn't scared but I think he was. He definitely was.

He does it because of the money, it's all he knows now and it's literally his identity at this point. And. I know he loved the status, having people kiss up to him and be scared of him.

OP posts:
Flaxmeadow · 21/12/2021 19:47

Sometimes crack,

Was he involved in prostitution or even forced prostitution, eg grooming gangs?

Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:48

This might sound like a silly question but does he still have a normal life, like waych tv and go out for dinner ans stuff? 🤣**

Haha yes he does! Does pretty normal things, eating out, watching Netflix, going to the cinema, spending time with family, house work etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:49

Also where does he put all his money? In a busines?

I don't want to be too outing, but some of it would go through a business. But I'd say tbd majority of it was unclean money that you can't do a lot with. He also invested a lot of money in things like crypto.

OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:50

That's so awful! Did you hang out with a a of the other women?

Yes I did and it was terrible. The waters were so muddy and nobody could get clear cut answers. Some of the men ended up getting beat up for being "snitches".

OP posts:
Original poster
roseblushes · 21/12/2021 19:50

@Flaxmeadow

Sometimes crack,

Was he involved in prostitution or even forced prostitution, eg grooming gangs?

No nothing of the sort. I have never encountered that and really don't know anything about it. If anything like that was going on, it was entirely behind my back, but I am almost certain it wasn't.
OP posts:
2irishmums2be · 21/12/2021 19:53

Did you take drugs when with him? Did other people take drugs in his house ?

chinabumps85 · 21/12/2021 19:54

I don't know why I find this thread so funny😂 maybe because I'm in South London and it's really not unusual to be in relationships with drug dealers. It's more or less the norm

MummyJasmin · 21/12/2021 19:54

With regards to how many levels there were....was it similar to an mlm/pyramid structure? Grin more people they recruit the more money?
Also what demographic (and/or social class) would you say customers were?
Thanks for your honesty. I have no idea about how these things work! It's interesting to say the least.