The Bluestocking, a unique location for daughters and sisters of earth, frost, feathers, fur, scales and spines

So this week…

• I have despatched DS to uni and 7 days later he is still alive. I’m not supposed to know he has been out to 2 am the last few nights but we have device tracking on all family devices and I was up anyway… I have no idea whether the blanket I dropped off is still intact.
• I have cleared a monumental backlog of ironing, and washed every single item of soiled laundry and bedding in the house. Not so much as a snotty hankie lurking in the dark depths of a laundry basket. Scolded my hand in the process being a twat when the ‘descale’ alert came up because I couldn’t wait 2 hours for the steam generator/iron to cool down … and was convinced the heat-resistant gloves I had bought on Amazon (for £2.99) would obviously protect me. Sometimes I am as thick as shit. Especially at 1 am and two large g&Ts…
• I managed to secure 4 tickets to Oasis in Manchester next summer at the proper price and within 3 mins of sale going live. Well-chuffed as DH took DC earlier this year to the 02. It’s not that I like them especially, but they are a happy part of my pre-baby life and a connection to a very special person (DC’s godfather and DH’s best friend from age 7). We lost him to a bastard brain tumour a couple of years ago at the age of 54. We’ll dance, sing and drink to him all night. He never stopped laughing and celebrating life, right to the end.
• I also got a full manuscript request from an agent at what seems to be very respectable agency. She has asked for the excerpt of my MA novel, too, as it is a little bit out there for police procedural/detective fiction. Am bricking it and now trying to get it a bit more polished, even though she is happy to see it knowing it is only at first draft stage.

So, DH is finally coming home after a week away; the dogs will go bananas when he gets home; and we have date-night tomorrow. Having a great week and taking a moment to appreciate it.

Sharing the love just now 😍

Sounds like you’re definitely HAGAWAP, Anony!

Hedgehog stood in the storeroom doorway for some time. “Edith,” she said. “Fetch the dogs.”

I think 'Edith, fetch the dogs' is going to be what I say to myself [and only myself!] when faced with a difficult problem😁
It would immediately downgrade the problem to something that a Bluestockinger and two dogs would make light work of..

Bon voyage, Woley! have a wonderful time. I hope everything goes smoothly and you quickly ID the Tunnocks equivalents in the local supermarket😃

Lots of good things going on there, Anon, thank you for sharing them💙
Not the scalded hand, obvs, and the Oasis tickets are bitter-sweet because you'll be thinking - and singing and dancing - remembering your dear friend.

I wouldn't go out of my way to attend an Oasis concert, BUT I love hearing their songs. Whatever was in the air in the 1960s that made perfect pop records, the Gallagher boys somehow or another caught it. Gems.

My heart goes out to Madame Gallagher Mère, the poor woman - having to put up with that lot squabbling interminably even into advanced adulthood🙄

It's funny [to me anyway] buying tickets for something that isn't happening till next summer, but it's certainly something to look forward to.

Wow and wow again, AnonyMum. That sounds like quite a week!. Hope your scalded hand is better soon.

And you may not be Anony(mous) for much longer if your writings are accepted! Fingers crossed.

Ooooooo! What a lovely selection I do love their cheeses and I've had at least three of your selection.

Have a good journey, Woley! Exciting times for gerbils, Myrtle, and great news about the second interview.

Dad and I are in A&E on his GP's instructions. He's had blood tests and x-rays but the main concern his his dehydration, and they've still not put a fluids IV in.

Poor Mr Pasta Snr
I hope they take proper care of him ASAP, and that IV fluids make a big difference to how he feels.
He's lucky to have you with him for support. x

Safe travels @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius
Great news @MyrtleLion so hard to get a first interview these days so fingers and toes crossed for you
@PastaAllaNorma hope your dad is sorted quickly and able to go home soon, ideally before the bar brawl crowd start appearing… Friday night in A&E as not much fun.

@DauntlessDamson I agree - cannot imagine being the matriarch of that family! I am sure they will make a cinematic biopic one day but I fear it might play out like a Manchester version of that 70’s tv series ‘Bread’…

I think that Bread was late 80's. Fun fact; the actor that played Joey was actually Manc not Scouse.

Thanks!

Would you believe the A&E information announcement said the wait for beds on wards was up to 50 hours? That's AFTER the wait to be seen in A&E for numerous hours. Bloody hell.

that’s awful. Do you think he’ll need admitting?
Don't forget to take care of yourself too while you’re waiting.

Yes.
When we eventually left, MrPastaSnr was on a drip with anti emetics, paracetamol and fluids. They are waiting for some more test results before putting him on antibiotics.

He admitted to the A&E doctor that he knew he was seriously unwell last weekend but couldn't face dealing with doctors and hospitals because he felt so low, and hoped it would all go away or get better on its own.

Sometimes it's a good thing I'm such an arsey, argumentative sod who won't accept what Dad says. But I REALLY wish he'd acknowledge he needs help - I've been asking him to ring his (remarkably good and responsive) GP surgery since Monday.

It's hard from a 2 hour distance.

For both of you. Glad he’s got the drip and he’s being looked after now. Hope you are getting some rest now.

Oh heck, I missed congratulating @AnonyMumAuDHD !

Errol, I'm very privileged because my brother stayed in the same town, just around the corner from Dad, so he does the bulk of the heavy lifting.

Weirdly, since Mum died I appear to have been elevated in status, so I can challenge Dad's stoic bullshit in a way my brother can't. When I come in steamrolling Dad's expressed (going to get him killed) wishes, apparently I can but my brother thinks he can't at all

It's a bit bizarre. They see each other every day and I'm 100+ miles away, but in terms of the nitty gritty, they will both tell me stuff (sort of at emotional gunpoint) that they won't tell each other. I assume they tell each other what they tell me, seeing as they spend so much time together. But no, only I get to hear information from them... Because men. Ffs

Even emptying out the rotten food in Dad's fridge, my brother thinks he should run each option past Dad but if I say Absolutely Not, Bin It, he complies meekly. And Dad never queried anything I declare past its date.

Where was this power all the earlier years of my life?

Thanks for new thread @AsWithGlad :-)

@PastaAllaNorma I hope dad is doing better now he’s having proper care.

Good morning all! I've been following the tribunal mainly but have just caught up with the doings here - loving the gerbil thrills (and their sensible toileting arrangements), well done talented doggies B+B and your noses. Good interview news @MyrtleLion , great stuff about your writing @AnonyMumAuDHD ! @PastaAllaNorma hope your dad improves soon. (And it's interesting when your "role" in the family seems to change, isn't it?).

Are the geese arriving?! Oh, my favourite part of Autumn. I haven't seen any yet but we do get them heading over our house. Eyes will be peeled.

I'm on my hols after a particularly frantic run in over past few weeks including seeing both DC off to their respective new adult(ish) lives and what felt like a ludicrous amount to do at work. DH has been having an annoying time at work (redundancy expected for some, but we don't know who yet). It's been going on all year so we both needed a break.

Now we're here, it's quite warm and I can feel myself gently decompressing.. work is starting to feel a long way off. Hurrah! Yesterday my main "achievement" was a short swim in the sea. I hope for similarly low key wins today...

Have a lovely day all

Decompressing with a sea swim somewhere warm sounds just the ticket, Shiny.

Pasta, it may be that apart from anything else, it’s a bit easier for you to lay down the law because you’re not there all the time. Dealing with fridge contents etc every day might seem more like micromanaging IYSWIM? (Of course I may be off base with this).

Are you ok now @Chickadeeinme?

Wish I could say I was shocked, but I’ve heard similar stories from friends sitting in A& with their parents. Most took them home to wait for a call re a bed (if it were not a Saturday, I’d have suggested calling his GP to expedite).

Hope he is home and you have both at least had a tiny bit of sleep and can start harassing the hospital again today. Take care of yourself too. Easy to focus on your dad and forget to look after yourself at times like this. You need rest and good nutrition too.

A swim in the sea is a wonderful thing, Shiny! Good on you.

Errol, you're probably right, distance helps.

Anony, the GP did expedite things! She was great - indeed, everyone has been great, but far too many patients, too few staff, too few beds. Each individual health care professional has been terrific in the face of pretty daunting working conditions.

He's still in a bed in a triage bay but after a night of IV fluids is much more coherent. They've started the IV pain meds and antibiotics as well now the anti emetics have done their job.

Bore da, lovely Bluestockingers!

Pasta, sorry to hear about your Dad's trials with the hospital. Is this what awaits us all now, as we get older? I do worry about this.

The "being in charge" thing I recognize from (distant) family members' dynamics. Men’s weaponized incompetence seems to become easier and easier to achieve in direct proportion to the number of available females there are to carry the caring load. It therefore becomes easier (trans: necessary) for said women to become forceful in the execution of said "caring" duties, because we don't have the time to mess around with use-by dates. If any of that makes sense? The men need someone to do it, and the women need to do it as quickly and efficiently as possible, so "no, I'm throwing it out" becomes so easy to say.

I should add a caveat: my sister found the same thing with my mother as she got older, so it's not entirely a man thing. I was, of course, here, so dealing with things second-hand or at a massive distance. I found saying "no" by phone and email pretty easy.

(Sorry, family dynamics... we did not have "happy" family dynamics)

Exciting news Anony I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Safe travels Woley, I'm sure you'll have an amazing time.

I'm quite tempted to go and potter in my garden this morning as it has been taken over by a weed (something plantain). I was thinking if I dig the weeds up, I can plant my ragwort and some other seeds at the same time. It's probably totally the wrong time of year but my garden always does its own thing anyway.

I have been waiting for my two month follow up appointment with the orthopaedic surgeon about my torn tendons since April. I called yesterday and a miracle happened. I had an appointment for 2 November five minutes after the call handler sent an email to the department.

So sorry to hear about your dad, @PastaAllaNorma. I’m glad he’s now improving.

I'm glad your Dad is improving, Pasta. Dehydration is such a worry for those monitoring older people. I have an elderly relative who wasn't drinking enough because she "didn't want to be going up and down to the bathroom all the time" and then wondered why she kept getting UTIs🙄 Fortunately, she is well supported now and her carers (as well as her visitors) know to ensure she has plenty to drink while they are there.

I'll help with the packing for the move. I popped into the new thread earlier and it's all looking good. Colin is on guard there - although I'm not sure what he is guarding against.

Absolutely fine thanks @ErrolTheDragon :-)