I am so so so sorry this happened to you. ❤️🩹
Sadly, I know both how you feel and the process very well, having gone through it myself just a little less than two weeks ago.
I had a missed miscarriage, found out at what should have been 8 weeks, and same as you, the baby had stopped developing at 6+2 - literally just two days after we’d been for an early scan and seen a heartbeat. So I really, really understand how utterly devastating and surreal this must feel. ❤️
In terms of what happens next on the NHS, this was my experience, although the exact process can vary slightly between hospitals/EPUs.
I called the hospital where I was due to have my booking appointment and spoke to a midwife, who gave me the number for the Early Pregnancy Unit (EPU). I called them, explained what had happened, and they booked me in for the following day.
At the EPU I had a counselling/consultation appointment where they went through everything with me and explained the different options. Because I was still quite early, all three options were available to me:
• Expectant management – basically waiting for your body to miscarry naturally.
• Medical management – medication to bring on the miscarriage.
• Surgical management – a procedure to remove the pregnancy tissue from the womb.
You should be talked through all of these and given the opportunity to decide what feels right for you, unless there is a medical reason why one particular option is safer. Current NICE guidance actually recommends expectant management initially in many cases, but medical management should be offered if waiting isn’t acceptable to you.
Personally, I knew immediately that expectant management wasn’t for me. I am absolutely not a “wait and see” person 😂 and the idea of potentially waiting days/weeks for it to happen was just too much for me emotionally.
I also initially didn’t want surgical management because I had a 4-year-old at home and really didn’t want to be away from her, potentially overnight, or have a procedure under anaesthetic if I could avoid it. Surgical management is generally a short procedure and many people go home the same day, so I don’t want to make it sound scarier than it is - it just wasn’t what I wanted for myself.
So I chose medical management, which for me involved taking the first medication at the EPU and then, 48 hours later, inserting four tablets of misoprostol at home. I then started bleeding and passed the pregnancy at home.
For me, the physical side was honestly much less frightening than I had imagined. I had bleeding and clots and some cramping, but it was manageable with pain relief. Obviously everyone is different, and they should give you information about what to expect and when to seek help.
After medical management, I was given a follow up appointment at the EPU for two weeks later, which is this upcoming Friday, where they told me they’d do a scan to confirm everything has passed. They also told me to take a pregnancy test about 3 weeks after the medical management which should be negative. I have been doing some tests over the past 10 days or so and can see them fading which has been oddly reassuring.
And just to say this because I know your mind is probably going to be going absolutely everywhere right now: none of this was your fault. Seeing a heartbeat and then finding out a few days/weeks later that the pregnancy stopped developing is a particularly cruel kind of miscarriage because you genuinely thought everything was okay. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this.
I’m only a week and a half ahead of you in this process, so if you want to ask anything at all - practical questions, what the medication was like, what the bleeding was like, what happens afterwards, or even if you just want to talk to someone who has literally just been through the same thing - please feel free to PM me. Honestly, don’t hesitate. You’re not alone. ❤️