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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why people with lots of money dress their kids so badly?

407 replies

FrankieNeverRelax · Yesterday 18:26

Every toddler group I go to the people with lots of money have toddlers running around with crazy unbrushed hair, weirdly layered clothes none of which match, clothes that are too big, itchy looking knitwear. Is it just my area or is this everywhere? Obviously “badly” is just my opinion!

YABU - I don’t experience this
YANBu - I have experienced this

OP posts:
JacquelineShit · Yesterday 18:32

YANBU

But I've noticed this about some of the wealthier women I've worked with.

They tend to favour big A shaped creased/crumpled skirts with blouses and cardigans of different patterns/colours that don't match, and then great big thick trainers with knee length woolly socks.

It actually looks like they cover themselves in glue and run through a jumble sale every morning.

BeDandyDenimSloth · Yesterday 18:36

I think toddlers should be in clothes that are comfortable and practical other than that I don’t care and don’t judge how children are dressed

Bikenutz · Yesterday 18:37

“It actually looks like they cover themselves in glue and run through a jumble sale every morning.”

@JacquelineShit 😂😂😂😂

TheGreatPotato · Yesterday 18:38

They are secure in themselves and aren’t worried about impressing others.

CurlewKate · Yesterday 18:40

Because they don’t feel the need to spend a lot of money on their children’s clothes?

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 18:41

It’s a bit weird to be judging how toddlers dress. If they are comfortable, especially at a toddler group of all places, who cares.

ASimpleLampoon · Yesterday 18:41

Looking frumpy is very aristocratic. Remember Princess D i when she was a teenage Sloan Ranger before the designers got their hands on het? The 50 year old Secretary hairstyle. Long skirts and wooily cardis.

Stompythedinosaur · Yesterday 18:41

I think more confident people care less about dressing their dc in a certain way, because they don't expect to be judged by it.

Original poster
FrankieNeverRelax · Yesterday 18:41

BeDandyDenimSloth · Yesterday 18:36

I think toddlers should be in clothes that are comfortable and practical other than that I don’t care and don’t judge how children are dressed

im not judging the child I’m judging the parent brushing their hair and dressing your child in clothes that at least fit them is pretty bare minimum to me 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
MammaTo · Yesterday 18:41

I say this as a “poor person” but I always wonder if they don’t care what they dress their kids like because they feel they have nothing to prove. Not in a bad way, but more of a “what are we trying to prove in our outfits” way.

SabbatWheel · Yesterday 18:42

TheGreatPotato · Yesterday 18:38

They are secure in themselves and aren’t worried about impressing others.

This, all over.

It’s how I manage to schlepp around Sainsburys in my yard clothes on the way home from the stables. I don’t give a fig what you think of how I look, because it doesn’t matter.

LastChristmasI · Yesterday 18:42

Because we don't spend any time worrying what we/our children look like.

DoNotWalkInTheRain · Yesterday 18:42

ASimpleLampoon · Yesterday 18:41

Looking frumpy is very aristocratic. Remember Princess D i when she was a teenage Sloan Ranger before the designers got their hands on het? The 50 year old Secretary hairstyle. Long skirts and wooily cardis.

But that look was fashionable in her circles at the time - it would not have been seen as frumpy in 1980.

PonyUp · Yesterday 18:42

The urchin look is very in with the upper middle class.

MarcellaGrace · Yesterday 18:42

What do you think is normal, OP? Gleaming-haired toddlers in little matching outfits and box-fresh designer mini-trainers?

sprigatito · Yesterday 18:42

Some of them cultivate this image very carefully, to align with the assumption @TheGreatPotato made.

Bikenutz · Yesterday 18:43

Does the toddler group you go to offer messy play? Maybe they dress them for practicality and not put them in anything precious just in case it gets covered in paint / glue / food / snot.

Also, perhaps moneyed people save by using second hand / hand me down clothes for every day use.

Original poster
FrankieNeverRelax · Yesterday 18:43

LastChristmasI · Yesterday 18:42

Because we don't spend any time worrying what we/our children look like.

I feel like you could at least brush their hair and buy clothes in their size 😂

OP posts:
CurlewKate · Yesterday 18:43

Also-reverse snobbery is a thing. I was very guilty of it when mine were small.

NormasArse · Yesterday 18:44

DoNotWalkInTheRain · Yesterday 18:42

But that look was fashionable in her circles at the time - it would not have been seen as frumpy in 1980.

Show quote history

It really was!

44PumpLane · Yesterday 18:45

I think when you have money you worry less about what others think of you. And also you don't need to spend money on clothing to prove you have money.

Relatively speaking my husband grew up poor and I grew up middle class, and he really has this thing about making sure the kids have the same as everyone else and nothing could have a stain on it.

An example being the kids would go in to school in a brand new school cardi and get pen on it from art, in my mind you wash the cardi and continue to use it- they are small, it's clean and ironed and they will continue to mark their school clothing, he was all for replacing every item as soon as it got a small pen mark because his upbringing made him feel judged.

MarcellaGrace · Yesterday 18:47

FrankieNeverRelax · Yesterday 18:43

I feel like you could at least brush their hair and buy clothes in their size 😂

Show quote history

Why? They’re naturally a mass of tangles and grow like weeds. Who do you think is judging them on their presentation ? Or is it your own insecurity taking ?

LifeBeginsToday · Yesterday 18:47

They have nothing to prove. No one is judging their ability to care for their child based on how they are dressed.

Dandeloosha · Yesterday 18:47

As long as the kids are comfortable and warm enough does it really matter?

Thatsalineallright · Yesterday 18:47

That might be me 😂

I got loads of hand-me-down clothes for my DC, so they definitely ended up mismatched.

Not sure how money comes into it really, except perhaps that the original clothes are maybe more expensive and so better quality and last longer, therefore surviving to be handed down.

I also inherited lots of hand-knitted jumpers that have lasted through over 10 children in the wider family by this stage.

Have you heard of the Vimes' boots theory? (From a Terry Pratchett book). It's an economic theory that people in poverty have to buy cheap and subpar products that need to be replaced repeatedly, ending up more expensive in the long run than buying more expensive items from the outset. Maybe it's got something to do with that?

Or people with money just have no taste, who knows! (Though just to say I'm not actually rich, I'm on a teacher's salary, but have some wealthier relatives here and there).