To wonder why people with lots of money dress their kids so badly?

I agree, and surely it would get all tatty, and knotted if not brushed. That wouldn't be easy to get out. I think it's a bit neglectful to never brush a child's hair.

I grew up in absolute poverty and my family always put a lot of emphasis on appearance. I am pretty comfortable now and don't give a shit about what I wear unless the occasion necessitates some effort. I don't even brush my own hair...
Kids grow out of clothes in five minutes so if you buy something in the "correct size", you have to replace it a week later. It's more important that kids are warm, comfy, not worried about getting messy and had some opportunity to have a say in what they wear. Which does mean they look a bit odd on occasion.

And yet if someone from the local council estate sent their kids to school with unbrushed hair and wearing scruffy holey clothes they would be accused of neglect.

The kids get dressed themselves, usually.

Spot on.

Some of the wealthier women I know would consider it chavvy to have smart looking kids.

They go for the scruffy boho look to signify they're middle-class.

It's very well curated in areas like Mayfair for example.

My dd has wild curls and refuses any hairstyle at the moment… I brush it every morning (with great effort!) but she won’t have it in a ponytail or plaited so within seconds she looks like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards. Curly is so difficult for that. I’m certain I’m judged for it! She looks a bit feral half the time! And yes, usually a mismatched dress and wellies of her choosing / insistence. I pick my battles with a 2.5 year old. I feel like you’re less describing posh and more just toddler chaos!

I don't agree with this. I've seen poorly fitting shoes, like loose fitting uggs etc. I find it goes with the whole "too busy/cool/crunchy to care" look.

We have plenty of money. I don’t really care about clothes, that’s why. I wear the same 4 outfits. My kids do too. Some of them will have holes in the knees that need patching and last year’s scruffy coat. I have plenty of money, in part, because I’m not blowing it on new clothes and shoes and a new car on finance and salon appointments.

My kids enjoyed looking a mess. They would mess up their hair deliberately as soon as I brushed it, picked mismatching clothes in contrasting bright colours and as soon as they could dress themselves insisted on doing so, frequently ending up with their t shirts inside out.

They were happy and healthy, so I didn't give a shiny shit what they looked like. My favourite photos of them when they were little have them covered in mud, looking a mess and with a smile like the sun.

We’ve got loads of money. All my 7 year olds clothes are hand me downs. New clothes are a waste of money and terrible for the environment. What on earth does it matter what kids wear?

My kids do too. Some of them will have holes in the knees that need patching and last year’s scruffy coat.

This is horrible to read actually because kids have no choice in the matter.

It is different priorities though isn't it? I think clothes can make you feel good, and do for a lot of women. I wouldn't say it means you need loads of money, it doesn't cost a fortune. There is a fine line between being scruffy, and being a bit neglectful.

Because it doesn't occur to them to care what you think?

You don't need to be wealthy to style your child's hair and dress them in suitable clothing. The wealthy aren't immune to poor taste, mental health problems, bad time keeping or just plain laziness.

😂Brilliant x

I can’t believe you bother with matching kids clothes! 😆

Why? What does it matter?

I’m WC, but DS chose his own clothes from toddlerhood.

It’s a posho thing. They don’t give two hoots what anyone thinks of them. It’s why their homes are full of dog hairs and they drive beaten up old cars, they’ve nothing to prove and don’t care if people think they are scruffy. (Unapologetic massive generalisation there!)

We have money. We had money when the DC were small.

There were some.hand me downs; there was some new stuff (Boden, M&S, Adams, Gap, JL, Asda). When DD was three, Asda had a fab little summer dress for £3.99. DD had it in yellow, pink, blue and green. DS lived in M&S packs of 2, TShirts, shorts, joggers, sweatshirts, etc.

They had good start-rite shoes/doodles. One pair at a time.

I never worried about them getting messy but they always started out clean, even if there was an immovable stain, and their hair was always clean and brushed. If a t-shirt was filthy at lunchtime, they got a clean one.

I gave and still do give many shits about people.perceiving the dc and dh and me as clean. Trendy and designer can get stuffed. Clean is essential.

I wouldn't call anyone in today's toddler group wealthy. All the toddlers were well dressed and had tidy hair. So it seems to be an area/wealth thing. The same could be said of nursery were the people could be wealthier but I doubt it.

I'm considerably richer than you: My children are dressed out of a skip.

Yet if a poor person dressed their children like urchins and didn’t keep them clean, they be referred to social services for neglect.

im not judging the child I’m judging the parent brushing their hair and dressing your child in clothes that at least fit them is pretty bare minimum to me

If you saw my toddlers wild child hair you woukd have judged me ( I wouldn't have cared about your thought though). It looked like he rubbed a balloon over it to get Static.

Hair and poorly fitting clothes aren't the bare minimum though.

Good Nutrition, basic hygiene, a loving home , emotional warmth are the bare minimum, not a shabby jumper and sticky up hair!

Maybe they don’t want to look middle class? If you’re very wealthy there’s no incentive to try hard by having perfectly groomed kids.