To wonder why people with lots of money dress their kids so badly?

Her clothes were classic and very fashionable at the time. Not cheap either. Obviously it was a style of dress, she clearly wasn't into punk. I don't think she looked frumpy at all and her hair style was much the same.

Old money, old clothes. New money, expensive display 😊

So was mine 😂

It’s really not. I assumed it was the nice thing to do a s didnt realise our kids were being judged for not looking spotless.

You just sound really snobby im glad I’m not in any of your toddler groups

Quality hand me downs.

@OnlineHead I agree that it is contrived, we live a few miles from a nice mc small
town, it’s now a joke that you can spot the ‘rich/posh kids’ the oh i’m scruffy flung together but the clothes are actually very expensive , little girls always in mismatched tights and dresses and posh wellies, boys with long hair and every item of clothing is a different colour ; jacket usually a very expensive outdoor brand.

Wgmhere in earth do you live?I would love to know. Never ever niticed it. Have niticed nicely dressed mums have niceky dressed toddlers. Regardless if money.

It’s ironic how the middle classes of Mumsnet make judgements about working class parents trying to look like they have more money than they actually do by dressing their children in expensive outfits (even though many don’t), while simultaneously dressing their children like they’re eccentric landed gentry. Middle class parents didn’t dress their children like hobos or neglect their cleanliness twenty years ago. It’s clearly a trend that they’re trying to emulate. Trying to pretend they’re super-posh when they aren’t.

And maybe you have money because you spend it on what matters as opposed to an endless supply of disposable plastic fashion clothes for children.

Yes exactly. I don’t think the look is as casually put-together as people think. It is often contrived.

Yes!

My DD has fine, silky hair that is a mix of curls and coils and loves wearing hats. I’ve tried doing her hair the night before but because she moves all over the place, it doesn’t last. I’m lucky she will sit in my lap and let me do her hair before nursery because she is used to watching me do her brothers and my own. Super neat styles would mean using gels so it would last and not unravel and I’m not putting gel in a toddler’s hair so some stranger can judge my parenting and I also don’t want her associating doing her hair with pain.

My mother has similar views to OP but being her child was exhausting, limiting, uncomfortable and embarrassing. My mother was not fashionable in the slightest but she was popular in secondary so thought she knew better. Clothes were uncomfortable and scolded for squirming, wasn’t allowed to play because I might get my dresses dirty. My hair was always neat but my mother was never gentle and any time I said that hurt or winced, she would call me too sensitive, prissy, or mocking me for being delicate. My comfort didn’t matter to her whereas dad was more about practicality and comfort along with appropriateness. I just learned not to say anything about my discomfort because it didn’t change anything and/or I was ridiculed for it. I didn’t know someone doing my hair wasn’t supposed to hurt until my aunt did it and I was a teenager by then.

I rather had had the mother who was more about comfort and practicality than being treated like a doll.

YABU because kids are not a fashion accessory!

When DD was around 11, we were given a bag of girl’s clothes by a woman DH knew who had a DD a year or 2 older. The woman is very well to do. The clothes were Boden smocked dresses with appliqué motifs on, cute little cardigans from Swedish brands.. you get the picture. We’re working class and Northern so DD flatly refused to wear any of it and went back to her Nike, Primark and sports direct gear.

I guess when you have the money to buy what you want , you get what you want rather than aspiring to what people tell you you should want

Am I the only one who bring spare clothes out with me?

With my 1st I couldn’t drive so I always had spare clothes packed in the change bag ready in case he got dirty or wet. We went everywhere on public transport and there was no nipping home, it took a while, so I just prepared for everything. The habit has persisted a bit with my 2nd even though I can drive now. I don’t mind my kids getting dirty, but I don’t like them staying in dirty clothes throughout the day if I can help it.

It makes sense to me.

Kids just need to be warm (or cool in the summer) and comfortable in their clothes and able to play. They are likely to end up getting their clothes dirty anyway.

Also maybe because they don't have anything to prove to other parents and don't need to show off by having kids in trendy, designer clothes? it is a waste of money as well and is not a good thing if you are into recycling and not wanting to throw clothes out to end up in landfills.

As long as the clothes and kids are cleaned :) up regularly then why does it matter?

I spend most of my free time wearing layers without worrying about what colours or patterns I throw together and wooly hats to cover my messy hair, most of it covered in oil paint and pet hairs. Could not care less about judgement and it fits in with my lifestyle.

I buy my kids clothes from Next because I like their designs etc. The rich people I know don't ever seem to buy at next , they get hand me downs from cousins and maybe the odd supermarket brand thrown in. They sometimes buy lelli Kelly for school shoes but that would be about it with the glam. I love buying clothes for mine and can't imagine having raggy hand me downs for them - the bits they wear look at least 10 years old.

😂😂😂

My DCs never wore designer clothes. They wore comfortable, practical clothes (usually supermarket or high street joggers, leggings, sweatshirts, t-shirts and shorts). I would just tell them to come and get dressed, and clothe them in whatever weather-appropriate outfit I’d chosen. They never showed much interest in what they wore.

They were always clean. I might have sent them into nursery in a top with a bit of an old paint stain on, but never covered in last night’s dinner. They were bathed and their hair was tidy. They might not have looked so clean and tidy at pick up, but they certainly did when they went in!

At home, if they got mucky during the day I would change them once they’d finished their mucky activity. Hands and faces were washed after meals, and a snotty nose quickly wiped. It’s just basic parenting.

This is not the case for a lot of people though. I work with families and many think that a large part of being a good parent is about them buying outfits for the kids. This very much boils down to class, it's much more important to be outwardly seen as "looking the part" than to have good food or enrichment activities. The lower down the socio economic group, the more important fitting in with the latest trends is. When you are poor and have lesser prospects, sometimes all you have as a status symbol is the most recent tracksuit. When you are higher up, there is more space (and money) to create your own trends, or go completely off piste altogether.

Edited: I joined tiktok recently and so many "forced adoption" accounts appeared on my fyp. This is a perfect arena to illustrate how appearance can trump everything for some parents. So many comments of "you are the best mummy ever, your babies are always in the best gear". No mention of the babies being surrounded by drug users and not being fed though.

Yeah, first impressions are terribly, terribly important when you’re a toddler at a playgroup. Research shows matchy-matchy toddlers with tiny, gleaming pigtails are disproportionately likely to become QCs and CEOs because of the good first impression they made at messy play.

I didn't buy expensive clothes for my toddlers as they're bound to get paint/food/mud etc all over them. Also even at that age DD had strong ideas what she wanted to wear, so long as it was decent and weather appropriate I picked my battles and let her get on with it. I also seem to remember clothes fit properly for about 2 minutes, and when they got too small I bought the next size, which started off way too big.
I did brush her hair, but between her aversion to hairbrushes and her habit of spinning/bouncing/doing cartwheels frequently, it may not have been obvious I had.

My mum would say they've got dressed in the dark.... Stripes, florals and anything else in the mix! 😂 I'm not sure if it's money or just that it doesn't bother them.
Another thing my mum would say is that you only get one chance to make a first impression, so make sure you are always clean and tidy and well turned out. I'm still the same, some people have no interest in fashion etc. Funnily enough IME they are always the ones to criticise those that take pride in their appearance... I would rather be known as someone who is dressed up than a scruffy bastard!!

Quoting myself just to add, my kids were always getting filthy and muddy, I encouraged it and they were brilliant at climbing trees and getting stuck into activities. My answer to everything was always “we’ve got a washing machine” and I just chucked them in the bath after a day in the forest or whatever, and their clothes went in the wash. You can have free spirited and happy, outdoorsy children and still keep them mostly clean and well cared for. I can tell the difference between a kid who’s been wearing the same filthy T-shirt for days on end and never gets their hair brushed, and a kid who’s been at nursery all day and just got in a mess enjoying themselves. There’s a difference. I remember one posho crunchy mum wheeling in a baby maybe 12 months-ish in a buggy at morning drop off and the kid had on a babygro covered in what looked like bolognese or something stains all down the front. She said something like oh don’t mind the baby, he’s still got last nights dinner on his babygro. Now to me, that was gross. I don’t care about the whole ‘immaculate kids are miserable’ argument, or that it’s chavvy for kids to be neat and clean. Getting into bed covered in food is disgusting, and to continue into the next day appalling. It’s neglect to me, I don’t care if their investments are doing well and they’re rich because they don’t care about trivial things like kids cleanliness, soap and water cost pennies and it takes minutes to wash around a baby’s mouth and neck and change a babygro. I see it also as vaguely linked with very permissive parenting, where little Tarquin can go round battering everyone because he’s creative or whatever.