To wonder why people with lots of money dress their kids so badly?

The reason they've got lots of money is because they don't spend it if they don't have to.

But this thread shows that people are judging the wealthy. It is just the wealthy don't really care what others think.

I assumed this thread was pretty lighthearted, it’s just clothes after all? My post was making a broader point.

I think there's sometimes the other order of cause and effect here. They're wealthy because they make decisions carefully and that includes not spending money on things that don't really matter to them. This sort of mindset creates an edge in progression towards higher paying jobs and also allows them to save towards the other external indicators of wealth that you can see.

My kids don’t generally care although my 5yo has just requested a Christmas jumper so I’ve been on vinted and bought him a few. 🫣

Exactly

Fashion is subjective and some parents regardless of their financial circumstances don’t have an eye for coordinating clothes .
The clothes worn by the children from wealthy families are probably expensive ( unlikely to be primani) , it is just that their parents don’t know how to dress them

Yes

I dressed my kids much as you described and am probably what you'd consider middle class. Why? Well the hair - DD had terrible fine hair and got bed head super easily, i did not find it worth the discomfort it caused her to pull it into super neat styles. I'd often let my kids pick exactly what they wanted to wear, which sometimes ended up in bizarre outfits, because they will spend the rest of their childhood in school uniform so why not. And otherwise we dressed them almost exclusively for comfort and practicality.

I think it's just (if not more) difficult to understand babies with hairgel, or dressed in outfits they can't properly move in or possibly be comfortable in. What on earth is the point? They are children and just need to be able to play and be comfortable.

Oh and in terms of shpping I always prioritised natural materials and good quality over "fashion". Plus, personally, disney characters and Nike ticks aren't my personal fashion cup of tea.

I think some parents of the middle/upper class persuasion are scared of upsetting their little darling or causing a tantrum at the sight of a hairbrush.

Whereas many working class kids are immaculately turned out with tidy hair.

I knew you’d get the responses you’re getting, but I know exactly what you mean OP. My kids went to a posh area state school and the kids of literal millionaires would come in with massive ill-fitting holey coats, or no coat or gloves at all until the deepest depths of winter, filthy matted hair, and clothes that looked like they’d been patchworked by Victorian orphans.

And no, I’m not one for fashion or brands or whatever for my kids and did always shop second hand when they were little. Their clothes were always fresh and clean and fitted them, though! My kids were always bathed with clean hair. Some of the kids with curls were in a dreadful state, with the mum gliding in dressed head to toe in something chic like Sezane with pristine hair and nails. I couldn’t understand it myself. The kids looked like urchins.

Oh and my kids were clean and bathed daily - despite looking sometimes a bit dishelved. I also was never a fan of wet wipes, especially scented ones, and DD had senstive skin. So she wasn't wiped down every time she touched something that might leave a mark like some kids are. Plus she was encouraged to play as she wanted, not to be kept prestine. So she probably did, occassionally, look a bit dirty.

Quoting myself just to add, my kids were always getting filthy and muddy, I encouraged it and they were brilliant at climbing trees and getting stuck into activities. My answer to everything was always “we’ve got a washing machine” and I just chucked them in the bath after a day in the forest or whatever, and their clothes went in the wash. You can have free spirited and happy, outdoorsy children and still keep them mostly clean and well cared for. I can tell the difference between a kid who’s been wearing the same filthy T-shirt for days on end and never gets their hair brushed, and a kid who’s been at nursery all day and just got in a mess enjoying themselves. There’s a difference. I remember one posho crunchy mum wheeling in a baby maybe 12 months-ish in a buggy at morning drop off and the kid had on a babygro covered in what looked like bolognese or something stains all down the front. She said something like oh don’t mind the baby, he’s still got last nights dinner on his babygro. Now to me, that was gross. I don’t care about the whole ‘immaculate kids are miserable’ argument, or that it’s chavvy for kids to be neat and clean. Getting into bed covered in food is disgusting, and to continue into the next day appalling. It’s neglect to me, I don’t care if their investments are doing well and they’re rich because they don’t care about trivial things like kids cleanliness, soap and water cost pennies and it takes minutes to wash around a baby’s mouth and neck and change a babygro. I see it also as vaguely linked with very permissive parenting, where little Tarquin can go round battering everyone because he’s creative or whatever.

My mum would say they've got dressed in the dark.... Stripes, florals and anything else in the mix! 😂 I'm not sure if it's money or just that it doesn't bother them.
Another thing my mum would say is that you only get one chance to make a first impression, so make sure you are always clean and tidy and well turned out. I'm still the same, some people have no interest in fashion etc. Funnily enough IME they are always the ones to criticise those that take pride in their appearance... I would rather be known as someone who is dressed up than a scruffy bastard!!

I didn't buy expensive clothes for my toddlers as they're bound to get paint/food/mud etc all over them. Also even at that age DD had strong ideas what she wanted to wear, so long as it was decent and weather appropriate I picked my battles and let her get on with it. I also seem to remember clothes fit properly for about 2 minutes, and when they got too small I bought the next size, which started off way too big.
I did brush her hair, but between her aversion to hairbrushes and her habit of spinning/bouncing/doing cartwheels frequently, it may not have been obvious I had.

Yeah, first impressions are terribly, terribly important when you’re a toddler at a playgroup. Research shows matchy-matchy toddlers with tiny, gleaming pigtails are disproportionately likely to become QCs and CEOs because of the good first impression they made at messy play.

This is not the case for a lot of people though. I work with families and many think that a large part of being a good parent is about them buying outfits for the kids. This very much boils down to class, it's much more important to be outwardly seen as "looking the part" than to have good food or enrichment activities. The lower down the socio economic group, the more important fitting in with the latest trends is. When you are poor and have lesser prospects, sometimes all you have as a status symbol is the most recent tracksuit. When you are higher up, there is more space (and money) to create your own trends, or go completely off piste altogether.

Edited: I joined tiktok recently and so many "forced adoption" accounts appeared on my fyp. This is a perfect arena to illustrate how appearance can trump everything for some parents. So many comments of "you are the best mummy ever, your babies are always in the best gear". No mention of the babies being surrounded by drug users and not being fed though.

My DCs never wore designer clothes. They wore comfortable, practical clothes (usually supermarket or high street joggers, leggings, sweatshirts, t-shirts and shorts). I would just tell them to come and get dressed, and clothe them in whatever weather-appropriate outfit I’d chosen. They never showed much interest in what they wore.

They were always clean. I might have sent them into nursery in a top with a bit of an old paint stain on, but never covered in last night’s dinner. They were bathed and their hair was tidy. They might not have looked so clean and tidy at pick up, but they certainly did when they went in!

At home, if they got mucky during the day I would change them once they’d finished their mucky activity. Hands and faces were washed after meals, and a snotty nose quickly wiped. It’s just basic parenting.

😂😂😂

I buy my kids clothes from Next because I like their designs etc. The rich people I know don't ever seem to buy at next , they get hand me downs from cousins and maybe the odd supermarket brand thrown in. They sometimes buy lelli Kelly for school shoes but that would be about it with the glam. I love buying clothes for mine and can't imagine having raggy hand me downs for them - the bits they wear look at least 10 years old.

It makes sense to me.

Kids just need to be warm (or cool in the summer) and comfortable in their clothes and able to play. They are likely to end up getting their clothes dirty anyway.

Also maybe because they don't have anything to prove to other parents and don't need to show off by having kids in trendy, designer clothes? it is a waste of money as well and is not a good thing if you are into recycling and not wanting to throw clothes out to end up in landfills.

As long as the clothes and kids are cleaned :) up regularly then why does it matter?

I spend most of my free time wearing layers without worrying about what colours or patterns I throw together and wooly hats to cover my messy hair, most of it covered in oil paint and pet hairs. Could not care less about judgement and it fits in with my lifestyle.

Am I the only one who bring spare clothes out with me?

With my 1st I couldn’t drive so I always had spare clothes packed in the change bag ready in case he got dirty or wet. We went everywhere on public transport and there was no nipping home, it took a while, so I just prepared for everything. The habit has persisted a bit with my 2nd even though I can drive now. I don’t mind my kids getting dirty, but I don’t like them staying in dirty clothes throughout the day if I can help it.

I guess when you have the money to buy what you want , you get what you want rather than aspiring to what people tell you you should want

When DD was around 11, we were given a bag of girl’s clothes by a woman DH knew who had a DD a year or 2 older. The woman is very well to do. The clothes were Boden smocked dresses with appliqué motifs on, cute little cardigans from Swedish brands.. you get the picture. We’re working class and Northern so DD flatly refused to wear any of it and went back to her Nike, Primark and sports direct gear.