To not be ok with race-based segregation?

It's all fine and dandy until someone sets up an event for whites only

Then the shit hits the fan........

You can't ignore the history when looking at these things. It's not segregation and to call it that is a massive insult to people who suffered actual segregation.

Again, that’s because white people are the majority in those spaces. You cannot ‘exclude’ the majority. Do you also look at women only groups and say ‘if men did this, shit would hit the fan’? Groups for people with disabilities and say ‘if people without disabilities did this, shit would hit the fan’?

" If white people did it, they would absolutely be vilified."

Yes. And rightly so.

But a large-scale social event is exclusionary

It’s 6 BAME people, how’s that a large scale social event?

Maybe when white people aren’t the gate keepers of BAME progress at work then they can have events.

@LakeTiticaca well, I have never attended an event that was specifically billed as being "for white people" only. But I'll tell you this... the vast bulk of the work-related events, meetings, activities I have attended over the years have been made up of only white people.

So let's be clear, white only events are the defacto events, whether or not you want to admit that.

It's all fine and dandy until someone sets up an event for whites only

Groups meeting together to discuss specific matters that affects them in specific contexts as a group is perfectly legitimate. It's not segregation.

The issue I have is an overall assumption is that if you belong in a majority group, there can't possibly be any matters that affect you as a group that you might want to only discuss with people belonging in this group.

The problems are when those selective 'groups' dwell in matters that affect other 'groups' and when some groups are encouraged to meet separately but others are criticized for doing so.

I don't have an issue with the OPs example, it's none of my business and obviously beneficial to the participants.
Although I do wonder about the baby groups, I know black and mixed race Mums are being failed by health services, which is bloody shocking. But would it not be beneficial for mums of all colours to be sharing their experiences, which would highlight any prejudice and failings in their local services. Surely if they are only meeting with women who are experiencing the same then how will the difference be apparent. I realise I'm explaining that badly.

@RancidRuby @LusaBatoosa White people are in the majority in some areas. I have lived in many places where white people are in the minority. And there was certainly prejudice against them that I saw clear as day (not from all, but it was significant enough to be noteworthy).

This doesn't minimize the experiences of POC who, by and large, have had worse and more if these experiences. But as a "white" woman who is ethnically Jewish, I have been discriminated against on many occasions, you just wouldn't know it if you saw me.

I addressed men and women having groups in my previous post.

It's absolutely hideous to see people obsessing over race so much that they divide people up by skin colour. My mixed race family and I are appalled by it and would never attend such an event. It sickens me to my stomach. I hate that it's been so ingrained in UK culture now that people here actually think this is reasonable! Genuinely despair for the future of the West.

@Ktime I don't have an issue with this particular event. I said I would take issue with a large-scale social event with a political nature.

So let's be clear, white only events are the defacto events, whether or not you want to admit that
Really? Any specific examples? I can't think of any such event.

Exactly - I’m part of a group for black and mixed race babies and there are a couple of proactive white mums to mixed race kids in the group. A mixed race child of a white mum will have similar experiences of race and racism outside their family as a mixed race child of a black mum.

My eldest had his first racist experience (that I know of) aged 3. Now age 7 he’s recently come home upset that white boys in his school have taken to faux naively asking him what the ‘n’ word means. His first time hearing the ‘n’ word was from them, and he came home asking us what it meant. This is one of many shit experiences he’s had of racism in his short life. Hence why the group is needed- both one for black mums, and one for black children.

Because in groups where there are white mothers, if those white mothers are genuinely willing and able to listen to the problems faced by their brown and black peers, great. Except, speak to any person of colour and they will tell you that the vast majority of the time, their experiences are dismissed.

I've seen it on here in this exact context loads. "I'm sorry to hear that you personally had bad maternity care but I don't think that was because you are black. I have a white friend who also had bad maternity care so of course, it's just bad luck" etc etc etc.

Are you an All Lives Matter type? Because it's really quite obtuse not to recognise the difference between racial segregation - something imposed on the oppressed race for the benefit of the oppressors - and an event celebrating the achievements and acknowledging the experiences of an oppressed minority. Can you really not see it?

Are you mixed race, white or black?

How is the fact that you’ve (allegedly) been discriminated against relevant to this conversation? I’ve been discriminated against, as well. What does that have to do with whether or not minorities can have groups and events?

And this post is about Boston. White people are very much the majority there.

You didn’t answer my question. Do you also look at women only groups and say ‘if men did this, they’d be vilified’? Groups for people with disabilities and say ‘if people without disabilities did this, they’d be vilified’?

I guess this all depends on the individual.

If you feel you're underrepresented, have a day for your 'type'. If you want to blend in and be treated equally, then these days are promoting segregation.

And it will never be popular when someone highlights the obvious... Black days but no white days. Female-exclusive events but no male exclusive events. LGBTQ+ events but no heterosexual events. It used to be that the white male may have had advantages, but now inclusivity quotas mean he's often the last to be employed

As a woman in technology I am there to work on behalf of all of my customers not just the female customers

But when I meet with the women in technology group I'm part of we are more focused on how the job affects us, issues we encounter as a minority (80% of our company is male) etc etc

It's about how we navigate through our work lives and the challenges we face

This meeting is not to do with the people they represent, they have all the rest of their work for that. Can you really not see the difference? Or do you just choose not to because it's an easy way to take a pop at people of colour?

Um, I already said - at work, over many years. I worked in finance. Now I consult to finance, professional services and technology firms. In the last 6 months, I think I have attended two client meetings or events at which someone who was not white was present. Two. Many of my clients do have people of colour working there, but inevitably, I am working with senior leaders and you guessed it... they are almost all white.

Amazing you don't know that.

Go take a look at the management teams of the vast bulk of larger firms. "diversity" usually means the odd woman. Very occasionally, one person of colour.

What this means is that an event for senior leaders... white people are the only ones present.

Is this difficult to understand?

It can be different, for mine it was. Other mixed race children in my family from a different racial mix have no issue at all and why would they?

What do you mean, specific examples? Are you in the U.K.? It’s a white majority country (by a massive margin). There are areas with almost zero diversity. If you go to events in those areas, they will only have white people. Even in ‘diverse’ areas of industries, there are often very few non-white people.

Some of these comments. Wow.

It used to be that the white male may have had advantages, but now inclusivity quotas mean he's often the last to be employed

Categorically not true. At "worst" for white men, if a firm is trying very hard to improve its diversity, and the choice comes down to a white man OR someone else with similar skills etc, the white man MIGHT be passed over. But in real life, in light of the fact that white men are still very much dominant, what really happens is that if a mediocre white man is up against a very compelling person who is NOT a white man, he now only has a 50/50 chance of getting the job vs his previous 90% chance.

I thought the rule of thumb was that it is ok to discriminate when the purpose is to empower a minority (black politicians, women in tech, etc).

But in the case of a baby group I genuinely don’t get it. One of the few things that women share universally. I would go as far as saying that if a woman only feels comfortable going to a playgroup limited to her race then she has a racism issue.