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AIBU?

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Employee on onlyfans

404 replies

Oceniam · 21/11/2023 22:22

I'm going to keep this as short as possible. My husband works in administration in a hospital environment. It was brought to his attention today by another colleague that a female colleague is on OnlyFans. As my husband is her manager, I asked him what he was going to do, and he isn't sure what to do. What would you do in his situation?

OP posts:
nightinorout · 21/11/2023 23:28

Surely he shouldn't be discussing work matters like this with his wife?

ArcaneWireless · 21/11/2023 23:30

Depends on the contract/social media policy etc.

If I were your husband,I’d be thinking a lot less of the one who chose to be a clype.

If I were your husband’s manager? I’d be thinking less of him for gossiping about it.

TeaGinandFags · 21/11/2023 23:31

Oceniam · 21/11/2023 22:29

Did I not just say that he’s her manager?

You did.

What you failed to mention was how he's impacted by this woman's moonlighting. And why the colleague feels it appropriate to complain about non work related activity when they should be winding their neck in.

haribosmarties · 21/11/2023 23:35

I'd mind my own business. Even if he's her manager he has no right to dictate what she does in her free time as long as its not illegal or she's using NHS branding or making videos at work or something. Leave her alone.

Midwinter91 · 21/11/2023 23:37

Mind his own business

Mejustme4 · 21/11/2023 23:37

HNRTF . How does your husband know? I personally think that it has absolutely nothing to do with him. Does his employee get a decent wage?

ChocolateCinderToffee · 21/11/2023 23:37

Most places I’ve worked you had to declare any other jobs you had.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 21/11/2023 23:39

Assuming this is the same colleague, 24 year old female, that he was sexting previously, he's likely gutted he now has to pay for it.

Was he ever disciplined for sexual harassment in the workplace, or was his younger female colleague enjoying their sexting?

I'm wondering if this post of yours is more to do with you wanting the 24F out of the way as your husband clearly cannot control his sexual urges.

StockpotSoup · 21/11/2023 23:41

What would you do in his situation?

Well for a start, I’d remind my wife not to post about it online.

Pipou · 21/11/2023 23:45

Firstly, you come across as very sanctimonious. Your faux outrage has nothing to do with OF and more to do with your husband's previous bad behaviour.

In a previous life I managed large groups of people and as long as it was in line with HR policy then I'd have no issue with it.

However, you're not her manager and it's not your place to be asking for advice. Frankly, your husband should have been sacked for sexually harrassing a colleague.

nightinorout · 21/11/2023 23:45

ReadingSoManyThreads · 21/11/2023 23:39

Assuming this is the same colleague, 24 year old female, that he was sexting previously, he's likely gutted he now has to pay for it.

Was he ever disciplined for sexual harassment in the workplace, or was his younger female colleague enjoying their sexting?

I'm wondering if this post of yours is more to do with you wanting the 24F out of the way as your husband clearly cannot control his sexual urges.

This all makes sense now, previous thread of OPs?

ValerieGoldberg · 21/11/2023 23:46

Unless said lady has a neon sign on her profile that flashes I work at blah blah blah, there’s nothing he can do. What she does in her own private time is her business. I am curious to know how your husband knows she is on only fans though

ReadingSoManyThreads · 21/11/2023 23:52

ValerieGoldberg · 21/11/2023 23:46

Unless said lady has a neon sign on her profile that flashes I work at blah blah blah, there’s nothing he can do. What she does in her own private time is her business. I am curious to know how your husband knows she is on only fans though

Because he was sexting her for free a year ago and is now bitter she wants to charge him a subscription fee.

ValerieGoldberg · 21/11/2023 23:59

Ah, after reading some of the other pp’s I’ve clearly missed a whole other story here!

StaunchMomma · 21/11/2023 23:59

There are professions in which this would be a problem, eg teaching, especially if content was sexual in nature, but admin?!!

ilovesooty · 22/11/2023 00:03

If he's a manager he's paid to know what to do or take appropriate professional advice if he doesn't.

That doesn't include telling you.

Floatlikeafeather2 · 22/11/2023 00:04

So, OP, is this girl from your husband's work the same girl (from work) that he sexts and the same girl (also from work) that he follows on Instagram, where she posts pictures of herself in her undies? Do you really want everyone to say that he should get her sacked? Was there really a colleague who informed your husband about her OF activity or were you doing a bit of detective work?

MercanDede · 22/11/2023 00:04

OF is anything from wearing sexy outfits and reading fairy tales to sniffing your dirty knickers dramatically on camera and posting them to fans to full on raunchy sex. So hard to say. I have no moral objection to any of it.

So long as it’s not a health risk to any patients. As in she’s not risking passing on herpes to babies in the NICU or HIV to cancer patients, then not a problem.

I guess I’d “randomly” select her for a full blood panel that includes checking for STI antibodies to start.

InSpainTheRain · 22/11/2023 00:04

It will depend on the employer's social media policy and conteact re second job I'd say. He should read the relevant policy and contract and seek advice from HR.

All those saying ignore it are wrong because he is the manager, it has been brought to his attention so I'd if it is forbidden and he did nothing about it, then he could also be disciplined.

Tryingmybestadhd · 22/11/2023 00:07

Depending on her contact really . Is she allied to have another job ? If not us a issue , if age is then unless this has caused issues I don’t think your partner needs it should do anything

Longsight2019 · 22/11/2023 00:07

My tenant was on only fans. Initially I thought like you and your husband in that it had something to do with me.

I was absolutely wrong as I soon realised it did not.

leave her alone.

What does “Manager” even mean in the employed PAYE world anyway.

Tryingmybestadhd · 22/11/2023 00:07

I meant contract

Longsight2019 · 22/11/2023 00:08

Also, he will want to join her page.

momonpurpose · 22/11/2023 00:08

Is that the 24 year old girl he's been texting? If I were him I'd be really worried as that could easily turn into her saying harassment and him being fired. I say that as a manager.

Cheshiresun · 22/11/2023 00:14

Is he still seeing her, the same girl a year later? Or is it a different one now?

Not much detail in this post, as your last one, so of course you're going to get flippant and unrelated replies without added context.