Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Inappropriate ambulance ride

283 replies

Mooshamoo · 15/11/2023 13:21

I couldn't get up out of bed two days ago. I woke up with a really bad back. Every step that I took was agony.

I couldn't move off the couch to even get into my car, to go to the doctors. I waited a couple of days to rest my back, it didn't get any better, I called the doctor and she advised me to get an ambulance to bring me to a+e.

The ambulance arrived. I could barely walk. The paramedics were two men in their fifties. They were totally unprofessional. They were laughing and joking and rude.

I think the way they treated me was absolutely shocking.

They sat me in a chair in the ambulance. First of all they were asking me where the pain was. I said that it was in my lower back.

The first man said "ah it is probably tight arse syndrome. You probanly have a tight arse hahahaha.
Well You're not getting any younger are you? How old are you?"

I said that I'm in late thirties
.
He said "see youre not getting any younger. You probanly have a tight arse. I'm old myself".

Then he came right up to me and said these exact words.

"Im old , I have rust on my undercarriage ".

Talking about his genitals. Isn't that shocking.

Then the second guy asked me "are you married.". I said "no".

The first guy said to the other guy "ah Jim you should ask her for her number then hahahaha".

The second guy said "no I wont". And then he said to me "he is always trying to set me up with people".

He didn't seem to realise that it is completely inappropriate to ever try to set up a paramedic colleague with a female patient who is alone, vulnerable, in pain, in the back of an ambulance.

All the while this "banter" was going on I was sitting there in a lot of pain, feeling a bit nervous.

The first paramedic then gave me some pain relief that I had to inhale. He asked me "do you drink". I said "occasionally". He said "how often". I said "about once a month". He said "this medication will be like a free night out for you hahahaha". "You'll have a good time on this".

He then shouted at me about the way I was holding the pain relief thing. He said "no don't hold it that way, oh for god sake I'll put it on you, I'm getting fed up with you". Because you had to loop a part of it around your hand.

I was at this stage worried about taking anything that would make me a bit lightheaded in front of them
Then I inhaled it. And the paramedic said to the other paramedic "ah you can tell that she's done this before ahhhahahaha" .

I wasn't laughing back at this. And the second paramedic glared at me and said "she's a very serious girl". I was thinking "of course I'm serious and not having a hilarious laugh, I'm in pain, in the back of an ambulance!". They were so unprofessional it was shocking.

When we got to the hospital, the first guy wheeled me in, brought me to the nurse and said "here is this one with back pain. Wait till I tell you - she asked me in the ambulance to go for a drink with her after this ahaha".I said "no I didn't". The nurse said "is he telling fibs". And rolled her eyes a little bit.

They were absolutely shocking. I couldn't believe the two of them

OP posts:
MyHornCanPierceTheSky · 17/11/2023 19:48

Fabulous op! Does that challenge previous beliefs of 'women are awful, horrible, evil....etc' or men too if some of them from men.
What a positive!

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 20:01

MyHornCanPierceTheSky · 17/11/2023 19:48

Fabulous op! Does that challenge previous beliefs of 'women are awful, horrible, evil....etc' or men too if some of them from men.
What a positive!

You certainly don't challenge it anyway!

OP posts:
MyHornCanPierceTheSky · 17/11/2023 20:18

Am hurt, you absolutely sound like someone who's opinion I'd value. (Am sure it's reciprocal!)

BrightLightTonight · 17/11/2023 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lookingoutside · 17/11/2023 20:36

OP what exactly is there to ‘weigh up’.

Report them. Don’t fuck about on here all night.

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Read the thread. I rang the doctor and the doctor told me to call for an ambulance. There is no way I would have called for an ambulance myself without asking the doctor first.

I couldn't get up off the couch or even take one step, so how would I get into the taxi?

It wasn't "back pain". I was in absolute agony. So much that it it took me about twenty minutes to move from a lying position on the couch to a sitting position. Every tiny move was agony. I could not stand up at all. I could not walk. This had gone on for three days.

That is why the doctor advised me to call an ambulance. If a person is immobile and not able to walk, the advice is to call an ambulance

OP posts:
Jingleeaster · 17/11/2023 21:06

My aunt's ex was a paramedic. I can completely believe it. Poor you.

creditdraper · 17/11/2023 21:20

I believe you@Mooshamoo .
Your experience needs reporting and hopefully there will be evidence on the CCTV to back you up.
I had to go in the ambulance with my mum who was in late stages Alzheimers. The care home had arranged it. I hate to think what might have happened if I hadn’t been there.
She had night clothes on and no bra. My mum and myself were/are not small in the boob area.
Again, one male driver and one male inside the ambulance. My mum was distressed as she didn’t know what was happening and jiggling about quite a bit as she didn’t want to be restrained by the seat belt. He positively leered at her the entire time and seemed to enjoy her distress. His body language was completely at odds with his words of comfort. I was fuming inside. I wish I had complained at the time.

Chewings · 17/11/2023 21:33

I needed an emergency operation a while ago and I was terrified. I asked the surgeon to just clarify the surgery for me and he said 'basically I'm going to stab you multiple times (then he mimicked stabbing me)' then he laughed and walked out.

I wish I'd complained, it was horrible.

I believe you OP.

BrightLightTonight · 17/11/2023 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 21:39

Its not unheard of for medical professionals to be uncaring/cruel. It is not safe for patients.

A lot of them are not watched and it brings up the argument that their should be cctv everywhere, or there should be always two staff present or there should always be a female member of staff present. I know all these things bring challenges, but they should at least look at how they can make things safer for patients.

I've seen so many stories in the news of medical professionals abusing sick/weak people. There needs to be more done to protect people.

OP posts:
Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Well then you don't know much about back pain.
You said "back pain is not an emergency".

You are wrong. Severe sudden back pain can be classed as an emergency.

I copied this from an online medical source:

When is back pain an emergency?

If back pain is a medical emergency, you’ll likely feel intense, sudden symptoms. You usually also experience one or more red-flag symptoms along with such as:

  • Difficulty standing or walking
  • Loss of bowel or bladder control
  • Loss of consciousness
  • Pain that extends from the lower back around to your abdomen
  • Sudden numbness in your pelvic region or in one or both legs
If you experience any of these symptoms, seek emergency care or call 999 immediately. These symptoms can indicate a problem with your blood vessels, spine or nerves that could cause lasting damage if you don’t receive treatment right away..

I could not stand or walk. I could not walk one single step without being in agony. I could not get up off the couch at all.

I rang my doctor, told her my symptoms, and she told me to call an ambulance immediately

OP posts:
Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 21:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Why do you not believe me? Because you think medical professionals wouldn't be verbally abusive to people?

Have you not seen all the stories in the news of medical professionals abusing people?

So why don't you believe me. You haven't said why

OP posts:
BrightLightTonight · 17/11/2023 22:06

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 21:46

Well then you don't know much about back pain.
You said "back pain is not an emergency".

You are wrong. Severe sudden back pain can be classed as an emergency.

I copied this from an online medical source:

When is back pain an emergency?

If back pain is a medical emergency, you’ll likely feel intense, sudden symptoms. You usually also experience one or more red-flag symptoms along with such as:

  • Difficulty standing or walking
  • Loss of bowel or bladder control
  • Loss of consciousness
  • Pain that extends from the lower back around to your abdomen
  • Sudden numbness in your pelvic region or in one or both legs
If you experience any of these symptoms, seek emergency care or call 999 immediately. These symptoms can indicate a problem with your blood vessels, spine or nerves that could cause lasting damage if you don’t receive treatment right away..

I could not stand or walk. I could not walk one single step without being in agony. I could not get up off the couch at all.

I rang my doctor, told her my symptoms, and she told me to call an ambulance immediately

Stop digging yourself a hole. Your back pain was not an emergency - how do I know that? You waited 3 days to ask for medical help.

From previous posts you have made, every man who comes into your world makes inappropriate comments. From a few days ago, a doctor made inappropriate comments, meet-up.com - men make you feel uncomfortable. You are a fantasist, and I don’t trust one word you type.

runningonberocca · 17/11/2023 22:11

I believe you. I work in the NHS but am Irish and worked there previously including working closely with paramedics. Most of them were amazing - lovely people, hard working, competent, doing a really tough job .. but I remember a few who were exactly like this. Arrogant, misogynistic fuckers who thought they were hilarious. I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s not acceptable. And hope you get some relief from your back pain soon

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:11

BrightLightTonight · 17/11/2023 22:06

Stop digging yourself a hole. Your back pain was not an emergency - how do I know that? You waited 3 days to ask for medical help.

From previous posts you have made, every man who comes into your world makes inappropriate comments. From a few days ago, a doctor made inappropriate comments, meet-up.com - men make you feel uncomfortable. You are a fantasist, and I don’t trust one word you type.

So you think that you know better than a doctor, is it? You certainly think alot of yourself.

I waited three days to call for help, because I am not a person who likes to make a fuss.
I wanted to wait a couple of days to see if it would fix itself.

However on the third day it was even worse. My friend who came to visit me tried to help me get off the couch to get into her car. She couldn't get me off the couch and I couldn't get myself off the couch.

She rang out local doctor and then I also spoke to the doctor. I told the doctor that it has been bad for three days. We asked the doctor what we should do as I couldn't get myself into a car and my friend couldn't lift me into the car to bring me to a doctor. The doctor advised me to call an ambulance to go into a + e.

That was my doctor's advice.

OP posts:
Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:14

runningonberocca · 17/11/2023 22:11

I believe you. I work in the NHS but am Irish and worked there previously including working closely with paramedics. Most of them were amazing - lovely people, hard working, competent, doing a really tough job .. but I remember a few who were exactly like this. Arrogant, misogynistic fuckers who thought they were hilarious. I’m sorry this happened to you. It’s not acceptable. And hope you get some relief from your back pain soon

Thanks so much.

Yes I'm sure there are lovely paramedics. However there are also the misogynistic ones who think that they are utterly hilarious.

The nurse apologised to me when she heard the paramedics last joke. His last hilariulous joke to me was "she must sleep like an animal - to get back pain like that".

OP posts:
Lovemychair · 17/11/2023 22:15

I think people are doubting you because you are quite recognisable and have had quite a few threads where you claim to have been treated badly by gp's , estate agents , neighbours etc . A lot of your posts contradict themselves.
I do believe you have suffered from past trauma and you probably need some help.

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:20

Lovemychair · 17/11/2023 22:15

I think people are doubting you because you are quite recognisable and have had quite a few threads where you claim to have been treated badly by gp's , estate agents , neighbours etc . A lot of your posts contradict themselves.
I do believe you have suffered from past trauma and you probably need some help.

Why is it surprising that I've met more than one inappropriate man?

You write that list, like it is something shocking. It is not. Many women have multiple experiences of sexual harassment

Do you know any woman that has just had one experience of sexual harrasment in her entire life?
A lot of women that I know - have had multiple experiences of sexual harassment

OP posts:
Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:22

BrightLightTonight · 17/11/2023 22:06

Stop digging yourself a hole. Your back pain was not an emergency - how do I know that? You waited 3 days to ask for medical help.

From previous posts you have made, every man who comes into your world makes inappropriate comments. From a few days ago, a doctor made inappropriate comments, meet-up.com - men make you feel uncomfortable. You are a fantasist, and I don’t trust one word you type.

I'm not a fantasist. You have a cruel streak though. I can't really imagine talking to anyone the way that you do.

OP posts:
Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:26

BrightLightTonight · 17/11/2023 22:06

Stop digging yourself a hole. Your back pain was not an emergency - how do I know that? You waited 3 days to ask for medical help.

From previous posts you have made, every man who comes into your world makes inappropriate comments. From a few days ago, a doctor made inappropriate comments, meet-up.com - men make you feel uncomfortable. You are a fantasist, and I don’t trust one word you type.

You're kind of falling into that stereotypical nasty behaviour of women who side with the abuser, and who blame the victim.

You see those kind of women often calling the female victim "a liar and a fantasist".

I think that women like you get a thrill out of it.
-you get a sick thrill out of abusing people who have just been abused.

I hope it makes you feel nice and powerful tonight.

OP posts:
Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:31

Chewings · 17/11/2023 21:33

I needed an emergency operation a while ago and I was terrified. I asked the surgeon to just clarify the surgery for me and he said 'basically I'm going to stab you multiple times (then he mimicked stabbing me)' then he laughed and walked out.

I wish I'd complained, it was horrible.

I believe you OP.

Im so sorry it happened. It's shocking.

You poor thing. That is disgusting

I'm sorry that happened to you

OP posts:
BrightLightTonight · 17/11/2023 22:36

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:26

You're kind of falling into that stereotypical nasty behaviour of women who side with the abuser, and who blame the victim.

You see those kind of women often calling the female victim "a liar and a fantasist".

I think that women like you get a thrill out of it.
-you get a sick thrill out of abusing people who have just been abused.

I hope it makes you feel nice and powerful tonight.

And you are the sort of person that gives every woman a bad name. I think you need to get off social media, and have a proper look at yourself and get some help.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 17/11/2023 22:40

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:26

You're kind of falling into that stereotypical nasty behaviour of women who side with the abuser, and who blame the victim.

You see those kind of women often calling the female victim "a liar and a fantasist".

I think that women like you get a thrill out of it.
-you get a sick thrill out of abusing people who have just been abused.

I hope it makes you feel nice and powerful tonight.

And you seem to get a lot out of your posts and giving yourself the opportunity to be verbally abusive and aggressive to women while claiming victim hood.

Mooshamoo · 17/11/2023 22:40

BrightLightTonight · 17/11/2023 22:36

And you are the sort of person that gives every woman a bad name. I think you need to get off social media, and have a proper look at yourself and get some help.

The irony of you saying I give women a bad name when you are a victim blamer.

Instead of saying yes there may be abuse going on within the medical profession, as I and many other women have said (you can do a quick search online and see many other accounts where women have been abused by medical professionals) -

you instead instantly blame the victim. You should be ashamed. Your posts are disgusting. Go away. I won't engage with you anymore . Disgusting

OP posts: