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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?

536 replies

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:04

So we were walking our doodle on the beach who's about a year old and 4kg. Most the beach is no-dogs allowed in summer but this is the only bit they are allowed on. She's usually really good but sometimes has bad recall if she sees someone she knows. There was a guy in a red coat who I think she mistook for my dad as he has a similar coat/ build and she ran over to him and put her front paws up on his knees. We were running after her apologising when the guy tries to repeatedly stomp and kick her. She ran back to me terrified. This guy is now screaming at us and swearing really badly. He has a little kid with him (maybe three) so we say sorry but he needs to calm down. He then threatened us and was trying to square up to my husband. We're just trying to get round him but he's blocking our way (we need to continue along the shore line to get back to our car). In the end we get past but I was on the verge of calling the police.

So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny. I think he massively overreacted and shouldn't come to the dog beach if he feels that strongly and is liable to loose his temper like that. AIBU?

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 05/10/2023 21:08

He absolutely should not have threatened you or squared up to your DH, but you absolutely should not have your dog with poor recall off the leader.
If he had had a reactive dog with him and yours ran up, your dog could have been bitten or even killed.

You need to put your dog's safety much higher.

WetBandits · 05/10/2023 21:08

He overreacted but you need to gain much better control of your dog. No recall = no off lead privileges. If she’s 4kg (what kind of doodle could possibly be 4kg?!) then a kick/stomp could easily kill her.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 05/10/2023 21:08

Your dog should not be off the lead unless he has perfect recall. End of.

Myrkwood · 05/10/2023 21:08

If you don’t have control over your dog (which you obviously don’t) then she should be on a long line.

On the surface he overreacted badly.

BUT that is inconsequential, what you actually need to think about is how to be responsible.

Your dog could terrify someone with a dog phobia.

Your dog could get torn to pieces if they run up to ‘someone who looks familiar’ and encounters a reactive dog.

Your dog should never be in a situation where they are running and jumping up strangers legs, no matter what size they are.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 05/10/2023 21:09

He didn't respond rationally but you should have your dog on a long line if she doesn't have a reliable recall, she should not be doing what she did. My son-in-law was hospitalised as a small child after a dog attack and dogs can still scare him.

Dunnoburt · 05/10/2023 21:09

You should have your pooch on a lead if it has bad recall.

SecondUsername4me · 05/10/2023 21:10

He sounds like he was absolutely terrified. Which even I (as a dog lover) would be if a dog bounded at me and jumped up. It's unreasonable of you not to take complete responsibility here.

LemonLight · 05/10/2023 21:10

You were both unreasonable. You were not in control of your dog, being tiny or on a dog friendly beach is irrelevant. Equally, based on what you've described his reaction was disproportionate even though he did have a right to be pissed off.

JanglingJack · 05/10/2023 21:11

Have you seen the news today regarding the toddler OP.

Keep your pet on a lead if you cannot control it.

londonrach · 05/10/2023 21:11

Control your dog or put on a lead. Yabu and you know it. Suspect this isn't a proper thread and deleted as you can't believe really this guy over reacted.

OneAtATime · 05/10/2023 21:12

As other posters get your dog on a lead please.

JanglingJack · 05/10/2023 21:12

As for 4kg... My cat is more than 4kg 🙄

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 21:12

Your dog attacked him. It actually put paws up on him. I would have a heart attack, in front of his kid who he must have been scared for, what if your dog knocked over the 3 Yr old and they hit their head?
You are bring v v v vvv u.

Citygirlrurallife · 05/10/2023 21:12

His reaction was pretty extreme but god how sick I am of small dogs jumping up at me and scrabbling at my legs. My dog is 36kg so of course one of the first things we trained was never to jump up but I wish small dog owners would give the same courtesy

itsmylife7 · 05/10/2023 21:13

The instinct to protect his child kicked in and it's fight or flight.

Cantfindutrogestan · 05/10/2023 21:13

Yeah you were unreasonable,there are loads of reasons why your dog shouldn't run up to strangers and jump up.

Mumof2teens79 · 05/10/2023 21:13

Just because dogs are permitted on that part of the beach does not mean they have free rein! It's not a dog only beach

CatamaranViper · 05/10/2023 21:15

I've just googled and an 8 week old mini doodle puppy is around 4-9lb which is around 4kg.

OP how old is your dog? If they're that young they might only be going on their first walk surely?

Pootle23 · 05/10/2023 21:16

With all the dog attacks because of rubbish owners I’m not surprised he was terrified.

He is on a beach, with a toddler and an unknown dogs runs up to him and jumps up…

You’re surprised he is angry?

Train your dog properly and if you can’t be bothered, keep it on a lead.

Nevermind31 · 05/10/2023 21:16

He had a small child with him and your dog jumped up on him. Could have bitten him. Both he and his child could be terrified of dogs.
your dog should not be off the lead, it is dog owners like you who are responsible for people acting like that guy.

Loverofoxbowlakes · 05/10/2023 21:16

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 05/10/2023 21:08

Your dog should not be off the lead unless he has perfect recall. End of.

Yup, this. You have zero comeback unless your dog has perfect recall, which it very much does not.

The man had every right to react to an out of control, unknown dog (yeah, right, 4kg? My cat is 4kg!) jumping up at him even on a beach where dogs are permitted.

yogasaurus · 05/10/2023 21:17

Yabu. Your dog shouldn’t be off in beaches etc if they run up to people and don’t have proper recall.

The size of your dog is irrelevant.

Myrkwood · 05/10/2023 21:18

Citygirlrurallife · 05/10/2023 21:12

His reaction was pretty extreme but god how sick I am of small dogs jumping up at me and scrabbling at my legs. My dog is 36kg so of course one of the first things we trained was never to jump up but I wish small dog owners would give the same courtesy

My dog is 6kg and when in private I’d say almost has perfect recall.

But the terrier in her is just too unpredictable when it comes to squirrels/birds, and I’m fairly certain she’d try to say hello to any dog she sees, friendly or not.

So she is always on a longline when in public.

DinnaeFashYersel · 05/10/2023 21:18

People are being killed and mauled weekly by dogs.

I don't know one dog from another and have no idea which ones are really dangerous as opposed to yours that's just out of control.

I'd be pretty scared and then very angry at a dig running and me and putting it's paws on me.

He shouldn't have threatened you or sworn but I kind of understand abet he did.

You need to get control of your dog or keep it on a leash.

TryAgainWithFeeling · 05/10/2023 21:18

If your dog had been under control there wouldn’t have been anything for him to overreact to, would there?