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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?

536 replies

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:04

So we were walking our doodle on the beach who's about a year old and 4kg. Most the beach is no-dogs allowed in summer but this is the only bit they are allowed on. She's usually really good but sometimes has bad recall if she sees someone she knows. There was a guy in a red coat who I think she mistook for my dad as he has a similar coat/ build and she ran over to him and put her front paws up on his knees. We were running after her apologising when the guy tries to repeatedly stomp and kick her. She ran back to me terrified. This guy is now screaming at us and swearing really badly. He has a little kid with him (maybe three) so we say sorry but he needs to calm down. He then threatened us and was trying to square up to my husband. We're just trying to get round him but he's blocking our way (we need to continue along the shore line to get back to our car). In the end we get past but I was on the verge of calling the police.

So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny. I think he massively overreacted and shouldn't come to the dog beach if he feels that strongly and is liable to loose his temper like that. AIBU?

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 05/10/2023 22:08

Totally avoidable by keeping your dog on the lead or correctly training the recall. A dog that doesn’t listen when it feels like it is not a trained dog.

i say that as the owner of 2 dogs. Both raised and trained the same, 1 has perfect recall, the other has selective and is never off lead except when we hire secure fields for him.

PaprikaPlease · 05/10/2023 22:08

If I’m out with my toddler, my first instinct is to kick any dogs bounding our way too. Poor guy was probably in flight or fight. Put your dog on a lead ffs.

ElleCapitaine · 05/10/2023 22:08

Wick55 · 05/10/2023 22:00

Looks like most people here are absolute killjoys but a grown man trying to stomp on a 4kg dog is absolutely pathetic. It is an ‘unreasonable’ reaction. Then again I don’t trust people that don’t like dogs. And I also don’t think dogs should spend their whole poor little lives tethered to a rope, they should be allowed to have a little run around now and again. People are so bloody miserable and have no compassion for animals. No doubt lots of nauseatingly over sympathetic people saying he might have a phobia or whatever - let’s be real it’s not very likely. Just an absolute misery guts kicking off about two little paw prints on his jeans.
I will die on this hill, friendly dogs should be allowed some places to run free and actually enjoy their lives. People have literally everywhere and anywhere else they want to go.

Oh get a grip. If you want a dog to run unfettered then make sure it’s trained not to jump on people who neither asked for it or like it. If you can’t control your dog to the extent you allow it to launch itself at strangers then you shouldn’t own a dog.

GuardiansPlayList · 05/10/2023 22:08

Do not let your dog run right up to people OP.

sleepyscientist · 05/10/2023 22:09

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 21:51

Don't forget if the dog knocked over the child they could be dead or brain damaged.

Please don't tell me you have a child older than a toddler! Kids fall all the time a broken wrist is more likely!

OP take it a lesson, yes he way over reacted if he was scared for his child he could have just picked the dog up at 4kg. As a dog owner my worry would be some idiot who had a reactive dog out without a muzzle, that's before you consider the idiots with bull breeds they can't control that attacks my baby!

Shade17 · 05/10/2023 22:09

FFS keep your dog on a lead if doesn’t have 100% recall. Ours will never be able to be off lead outside of secure areas due to his prey drive, we knew this before we even started looking for a puppy.

Hawkins0009 · 05/10/2023 22:10

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:36

To clarify my dog was 11 months old and usually has perfect recall and on this one occasion did not. She never jumps up at people she does not know apart from this one time which is why I'm sure she mistook this guy for my dad.

For those who asked she's a bichon poodle cross and was 4kg then and 5.4kg now fully grown.

I don't think one isolated incident makes her an 'out if control' dog as most of you seem to think. Even the best trained dog can't be 100% reliable at all times, just like people they can get confused and make mistakes so unless you want all dogs on leads at all times (which would potentially be a fair argument) I will respectfully disagree with most of you.

to be fair i understand your points but all dogs should be on leads, as it only takes one incident etc

Vistada · 05/10/2023 22:11

Unless your dog has bomb proof recall they should not be off lead. Ever.

YABU

Cuttysark4321 · 05/10/2023 22:13

Not a good reaction from this man bit if you're dog has a bad recall it ought to be on a lead. Period. It's not a case of it liking dogs it's just not safe.

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 22:16

sleepyscientist · 05/10/2023 22:09

Please don't tell me you have a child older than a toddler! Kids fall all the time a broken wrist is more likely!

OP take it a lesson, yes he way over reacted if he was scared for his child he could have just picked the dog up at 4kg. As a dog owner my worry would be some idiot who had a reactive dog out without a muzzle, that's before you consider the idiots with bull breeds they can't control that attacks my baby!

Let's hope you don't if you don't understand that a dog at head / shoulder height the same weight as a toddler is not in any way similar to a slight fall. Bowled over backwards! Jesus.

Playingintheshadow · 05/10/2023 22:16

JanglingJack · 05/10/2023 21:12

As for 4kg... My cat is more than 4kg 🙄

Was about to say the same!

Motnight · 05/10/2023 22:16

A 4kg dog must be tiny. My small, aging cat is just under 4kg.

Zapzep · 05/10/2023 22:17

People are so intolerant and irrational these days I despair for society, there was a thread about the subject a week or so ago.

Itrymybestyesido · 05/10/2023 22:18

I'm my mind I liken it to someone letting their child jump up on a stranger. That would not be acceptable behaviour and the same applies with a dog.

Lostcotter · 05/10/2023 22:18

CatMadam · 05/10/2023 22:06

Many people do have phobias of dogs though- where’s your compassion for them?

Dogs should be allowed to run free in dog parks and nowhere else, imo. I don’t trust dogs, too many stories of the gross little buggers mauling/killing people. Not to mention the heaps of dog shite all over my neighbourhood which their owners never seem to pick up!

This, and I don’t get the implication that people can go everywhere and dogs are limited. They get free run of a LOT of places and as you’ll see on this there’s a lot of people are avoiding certain places due to having been knocked down, bit or clawed at by a dog.

I pay a lot in Council tax as someone who lives alone and after living 18 months in my area I haven’t gone into a park in my area once due to the risk of dogs jumping up at me. I see them everywhere and they are off leash in cafes, in hotel lobbies, in parks, in trains. There is not one cafe in my area thats dog free. It’s me who has limited my movement!!

Ironically I still had a dog jump all over me in my own flat building 🙄

BruceAndNosh · 05/10/2023 22:18

CatamaranViper · 05/10/2023 21:57

Aha

The OP should be banned for starting EVERY thread with "So..."

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 22:19

But it's a million times worse as a child won't kill you but a dog might. They do weekly in England right now.

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 22:19

Pretty rational to be terrified in the face of all the evidence!

Justgorgeous · 05/10/2023 22:20

Put your dog on a lead.

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 22:20

Ok I can see this is getting a super strong reaction.

Just to clarify, our dog had (up to this point) had reliable 100% recall for probably about 5 months when out with strangers. She didn't have 100% recall when greeting friends and family which we were working on. As she'd never approached a stranger when out walking we felt comfortable taking her off lead at this point. Obviously this incident proved she wasn't 100% but I can't help feeling a bit hurt that I'm being called a terrible and lazy owner based on our experience and training up until that point. They are animals at the end of the day.

Also to clarify we were apologising before she reached him, we were about 4m away and it was obvious what she was going to do. As soon as she reached him and he looked down as her she obviously realised is was a stranger and started retreating to me which was the only reason she didn't get stomped on. The child was nowhere near at this point, only came over once the commotion started.

I can't help thinking it's a sad that most people seem to think it would be ok to stomp a 4kg puppy that was obviously confused.

OP posts:
Prescottdanni123 · 05/10/2023 22:21

@Boomboom22

Bugger off please. It wasn't a dog attack. Fucking hell.

FrancisSeaton · 05/10/2023 22:21

I can't see anyone saying it's okay to stomp a dog but you are totally wrong to allow this situation to occur. You are the type of dog owner that gives all owners a bad rep

Hawkins0009 · 05/10/2023 22:23

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 22:20

Ok I can see this is getting a super strong reaction.

Just to clarify, our dog had (up to this point) had reliable 100% recall for probably about 5 months when out with strangers. She didn't have 100% recall when greeting friends and family which we were working on. As she'd never approached a stranger when out walking we felt comfortable taking her off lead at this point. Obviously this incident proved she wasn't 100% but I can't help feeling a bit hurt that I'm being called a terrible and lazy owner based on our experience and training up until that point. They are animals at the end of the day.

Also to clarify we were apologising before she reached him, we were about 4m away and it was obvious what she was going to do. As soon as she reached him and he looked down as her she obviously realised is was a stranger and started retreating to me which was the only reason she didn't get stomped on. The child was nowhere near at this point, only came over once the commotion started.

I can't help thinking it's a sad that most people seem to think it would be ok to stomp a 4kg puppy that was obviously confused.

hurting any animal is wrong, and his behaviour was omg.

StarDolphins · 05/10/2023 22:23

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 21:51

Don't forget if the dog knocked over the child they could be dead or brain damaged.

brain damaged from a fall on the beach? I don’t know what sort of concrete beaches you’ve been to.

Also, the dog wasn’t violent at all. A nuisance yes.

All your replies seem quite hysterical in reaction to what actually happened.

JoanDarc · 05/10/2023 22:23

I’m scared of dogs and having a dog jump up on me, even a smaller dog would be absolutely terrifying for me. To the point fight or flight would definitely kick in. Having my kids with me, who are also terrified due to previous bad experiences from irresponsible owners would amplify my reaction.
Unfortunately, people who let their dogs off lead in public spaces are the reason I carefully chose where I run/walk. Our large local park is so bad, I can’t run through it anymore as I’m permanently on high alert.
Many dog owners don’t realise how utterly paralysing the fear is of a dog running towards you, off lead, is for those who are phobic.
In short, he reacted badly to your poorly judged action.