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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?

536 replies

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:04

So we were walking our doodle on the beach who's about a year old and 4kg. Most the beach is no-dogs allowed in summer but this is the only bit they are allowed on. She's usually really good but sometimes has bad recall if she sees someone she knows. There was a guy in a red coat who I think she mistook for my dad as he has a similar coat/ build and she ran over to him and put her front paws up on his knees. We were running after her apologising when the guy tries to repeatedly stomp and kick her. She ran back to me terrified. This guy is now screaming at us and swearing really badly. He has a little kid with him (maybe three) so we say sorry but he needs to calm down. He then threatened us and was trying to square up to my husband. We're just trying to get round him but he's blocking our way (we need to continue along the shore line to get back to our car). In the end we get past but I was on the verge of calling the police.

So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny. I think he massively overreacted and shouldn't come to the dog beach if he feels that strongly and is liable to loose his temper like that. AIBU?

OP posts:
ThatMrsM · 05/10/2023 21:56

You are being unreasonable. Even small dogs can do a lot of damage, especially to small children. He shouldn't have threatened you but I completely understand why he was angry.

I love dogs, but I really wish people wouldn't let their uncontrollable dogs off leads. I have young kids who are both a bit nervous when dogs run up and get too close. It seems to have happened to us quite a lot recently, I think most of the time the dogs are being friendly but who knows how they would react if my child screamed or shouted.

Mumsanetta · 05/10/2023 21:57

If enough people react in the way that man did every time your dog is out of control you might eventually put a lead on it until you can perfect its recall. Well done that man.

CatamaranViper · 05/10/2023 21:57

Aha

AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?
AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?
StarDolphins · 05/10/2023 21:57

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 21:12

Your dog attacked him. It actually put paws up on him. I would have a heart attack, in front of his kid who he must have been scared for, what if your dog knocked over the 3 Yr old and they hit their head?
You are bring v v v vvv u.

Attacked him is stretching it a bit.

Op, I agree with the others that your dog needs to be in a lead unless recall is 100%. I do think the guy is a dick for his overreaction though. Who squares up to people with kids there.

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 21:58

As a child and teen I'd often go in the road rather than near a dog, I've more trust that a human driver will swerve / stop than a dog owner will keep me safe. You can't trust them. On another thread more than one poster says they put their dog over other people's children. For real.

Lostcotter · 05/10/2023 21:58

Mariposista · 05/10/2023 21:54

What a moron. If you shriek and shout the dog will get more wound up. Turn your back on it and ignore, it will most likely back off.

If someone is fearful of something telling them to turn their back and ignore it won’t help and it is very lacking in empathy and understanding of peoples fears to suggest that .

Additionally I know people who have been bit on their arse by dogs. So they would be right not to want to turn their back to the dog as they probably want to keep an eye on it .

You shouldn’t have to modify your behaviour for a dog you didn’t choose to own. He was just minding his own business with his child. Not the dogs fault either but it is OPs fault.

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 21:59

How? It jumped up on him more than once with claws. That is a pretty serious attack? You want him dead with his throat bitten to call it an attack?

PortalooSunset · 05/10/2023 22:00

"I know some we should have her under control"

Fixed it for you @MrsH1992 👍

Lostcotter · 05/10/2023 22:00

Mumsanetta · 05/10/2023 21:57

If enough people react in the way that man did every time your dog is out of control you might eventually put a lead on it until you can perfect its recall. Well done that man.

That’s what I started to think once I saw that man in the hotel kick the dog that jumped on him. The woman only moved along from him after that. Before she stood there letting it jump all over him.

Wick55 · 05/10/2023 22:00

Looks like most people here are absolute killjoys but a grown man trying to stomp on a 4kg dog is absolutely pathetic. It is an ‘unreasonable’ reaction. Then again I don’t trust people that don’t like dogs. And I also don’t think dogs should spend their whole poor little lives tethered to a rope, they should be allowed to have a little run around now and again. People are so bloody miserable and have no compassion for animals. No doubt lots of nauseatingly over sympathetic people saying he might have a phobia or whatever - let’s be real it’s not very likely. Just an absolute misery guts kicking off about two little paw prints on his jeans.
I will die on this hill, friendly dogs should be allowed some places to run free and actually enjoy their lives. People have literally everywhere and anywhere else they want to go.

Original poster
MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 22:00

So I've just joined and enjoyed reading the AIBU threads so thought I'd post a few experiences I've had over the past few years that I still think and wonder about. I was just interested to get some outside opinions...

OP posts:
PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling · 05/10/2023 22:00

You sure your dog is 4kgs? Put your dog in a lead!

amicissimma · 05/10/2023 22:01

"I don't think one isolated incident makes her an 'out if control' dog as most of you seem to think."

But for this poor guy 100% of the times he's met your dog he's been jumped on. It's not 'one isolated' incident to him. It just looks like yet another out of control dog with an owner who doesn't seem to think it's a big deal.

CatamaranViper · 05/10/2023 22:01

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Portakalkedi · 05/10/2023 22:02

Clearly not the reaction you were hoping for OP, but you sound very inconsiderate and a bit dim if you think letting your untrained dog run at people and jump up at them is OK. People like you, and there are many, are the reason I can no longer go to beaches, parks etc as a disabled person, I fear dogs jumping at me and knocking me off my crutches (again). That poor guy was well within his rights to do what was necessary to get the animal off him and his child. Do you not read the news?

AvengedQuince · 05/10/2023 22:03

Dogs can run free on their owners property, they can be on a lead in public places unless they have perfect recall and are trained not to jump at anyone.

ColleenDonaghy · 05/10/2023 22:03

Christ I hate it when dogs do this. It's annoying at best and very scary at worst. The worst one we had included a terrified two year old and muddy paw prints on my 36 week bump.

I have two kids who loved dogs from their buggies and are now terrified thanks to shit like this.

There is nothing friendly about a dog approaching a stranger, and jumping up is completely unacceptable.

Shumpalumpa · 05/10/2023 22:03

Anybody who starts sentences with ‘so’ should be banned for life.

Lostcotter · 05/10/2023 22:04

@MrsH1992 btw, it wasn’t the “dog section” as you call it, it’s the “dogs allowed section” of a beach - not a dog park. I think that’s an important distinction.

And regardless, the dangerous dogs act still applies, which basically says your dog should be under control at all times and not acting in a way so as to reasonably cause fear in someone.

It’s not about not liking dogs. Many dog lovers and dog owners are saying YABU too.

My friend has had dogs since she was 11, and hates strange dogs approaching her.

Dollyparton3 · 05/10/2023 22:04

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:36

To clarify my dog was 11 months old and usually has perfect recall and on this one occasion did not. She never jumps up at people she does not know apart from this one time which is why I'm sure she mistook this guy for my dad.

For those who asked she's a bichon poodle cross and was 4kg then and 5.4kg now fully grown.

I don't think one isolated incident makes her an 'out if control' dog as most of you seem to think. Even the best trained dog can't be 100% reliable at all times, just like people they can get confused and make mistakes so unless you want all dogs on leads at all times (which would potentially be a fair argument) I will respectfully disagree with most of you.

My mini doodle is 4.5 years old and only now has perfect recall, for that reason in public spaces he's off lead until we see ANYONE up to 50 yards away and he's back on the lead. JUST IN CASE.

Sorry OP but this is on you, your dog ran to someone and you couldn't call it back. Not his fault at all

Oilyoilyoilgob · 05/10/2023 22:04

JanglingJack · 05/10/2023 21:12

As for 4kg... My cat is more than 4kg 🙄

@JanglingJack it honestly can be true! We have a rescue mini cavapoo and she is 3.7kg. I’ve had cats previously and they weighed more and were a bigger build 🙈😄

VintageBlossomHill · 05/10/2023 22:06

I like dogs but I’m a little scared of small dogs - I’ve come across a lot of small aggressive dogs and they tend to be like a whirlwind.

CatMadam · 05/10/2023 22:06

Wick55 · 05/10/2023 22:00

Looks like most people here are absolute killjoys but a grown man trying to stomp on a 4kg dog is absolutely pathetic. It is an ‘unreasonable’ reaction. Then again I don’t trust people that don’t like dogs. And I also don’t think dogs should spend their whole poor little lives tethered to a rope, they should be allowed to have a little run around now and again. People are so bloody miserable and have no compassion for animals. No doubt lots of nauseatingly over sympathetic people saying he might have a phobia or whatever - let’s be real it’s not very likely. Just an absolute misery guts kicking off about two little paw prints on his jeans.
I will die on this hill, friendly dogs should be allowed some places to run free and actually enjoy their lives. People have literally everywhere and anywhere else they want to go.

Many people do have phobias of dogs though- where’s your compassion for them?

Dogs should be allowed to run free in dog parks and nowhere else, imo. I don’t trust dogs, too many stories of the gross little buggers mauling/killing people. Not to mention the heaps of dog shite all over my neighbourhood which their owners never seem to pick up!

Titchyfeep · 05/10/2023 22:07

If your dog doesn’t have good recall you shouldn’t let them off the lead.I don’t particularly like dogs and especially hate if they jump on me so I can understand why the man would have got angry.

AvengedQuince · 05/10/2023 22:07

I will die on this hill, friendly dogs should be allowed some places to run free and actually enjoy their lives.

They can, on their owners' property.

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