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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU or did this guy overreact to our dog approaching him?

536 replies

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:04

So we were walking our doodle on the beach who's about a year old and 4kg. Most the beach is no-dogs allowed in summer but this is the only bit they are allowed on. She's usually really good but sometimes has bad recall if she sees someone she knows. There was a guy in a red coat who I think she mistook for my dad as he has a similar coat/ build and she ran over to him and put her front paws up on his knees. We were running after her apologising when the guy tries to repeatedly stomp and kick her. She ran back to me terrified. This guy is now screaming at us and swearing really badly. He has a little kid with him (maybe three) so we say sorry but he needs to calm down. He then threatened us and was trying to square up to my husband. We're just trying to get round him but he's blocking our way (we need to continue along the shore line to get back to our car). In the end we get past but I was on the verge of calling the police.

So I know some people really don't like dogs and we should have her under control but it was the dog section of the beach plus she's tiny. I think he massively overreacted and shouldn't come to the dog beach if he feels that strongly and is liable to loose his temper like that. AIBU?

OP posts:
CatamaranViper · 05/10/2023 21:35

2024815pm · 05/10/2023 21:32

I'm going against the grain here OP that guy was an aggressive bully. Yeah your dog shouldn't have run up to him but his response was off the scale aggressive. He kicked your dog and swore at you in front of his 3 year old child. What a prince 😡

He kicked a dog that ran up to him and jumped on him despite being called by his owners. For all he knew OP was calling her dog because it was aggressive and he had his small child with him.

He wouldn't have had a reaction if OPs dog was under control.

sprigatito · 05/10/2023 21:35

Of course he shouldn't have been violent, there's no justification for that. I do think dog owners as a whole need to realise how utterly fucking sick we all are of selfish and slovenly dog owners ruining public spaces, however. I'm afraid there will be more and more of these confrontations.

Mischance · 05/10/2023 21:35

Have you got the message OP? I certainly hope so.

Original poster
MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:36

To clarify my dog was 11 months old and usually has perfect recall and on this one occasion did not. She never jumps up at people she does not know apart from this one time which is why I'm sure she mistook this guy for my dad.

For those who asked she's a bichon poodle cross and was 4kg then and 5.4kg now fully grown.

I don't think one isolated incident makes her an 'out if control' dog as most of you seem to think. Even the best trained dog can't be 100% reliable at all times, just like people they can get confused and make mistakes so unless you want all dogs on leads at all times (which would potentially be a fair argument) I will respectfully disagree with most of you.

OP posts:
Lovingitallnow · 05/10/2023 21:36

Also- regardless of whether it's right or wrong- telling someone who's freaking out that you're sorry but they need to calm down is generally going to be fuel to the fire.

Kitanai · 05/10/2023 21:37

I hate dog owners like the op who give the rest of us a bad reputation.

It’s not rocket science is it?

Only you are responsible for your dog.

To you that dog may be an angel, but to the person with a phobia/reactive dog/child they are just another unpredictable and out of control animal.

Another in a long line of dogs off lead with shit recall and dopey fucking owners just hoping for the best. Probably the sixth he’s had to fend off that morning.

griegwithhimandhim · 05/10/2023 21:37

Yeah well. His knee height is toddler throat height. Maybe his reaction was over the top, but you were the one who was completely in the wrong.

Don't let your out-of-control dog run up to people like that.

yogasaurus · 05/10/2023 21:38

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Lostcotter · 05/10/2023 21:39

Hankunamatata · 05/10/2023 21:18

His reaction was exteme but I kind of get it. I'm sick of being on the beach with kids, building sandcastles etc and bloody dogs running through middle or jumping on the kids or peeing on sand

Or running through picnics and ruining the food!

If that ever happens again I’m asking the owner to reimburse me.

I had one dog stick its head in a large share pack of crisps during a work team day out to the park. We threw the crisps out afterwards.

But tbh as it was a pitbull type I didn’t want to get into an argument with the clearly irresponsible owner. My manager thankfully wasn’t scared of it and told the man to come and get his dog away as he saw my discomfort.

bravotango · 05/10/2023 21:39

She's usually really good but sometimes has bad recall if she sees someone she knows.

Got this far, YABU

Myrkwood · 05/10/2023 21:39

Mischance · 05/10/2023 21:35

Have you got the message OP? I certainly hope so.

Nope.

I don't think one isolated incident makes her an 'out if control' dog as most of you seem to think. Even the best trained dog can't be 100% reliable at all times, just like people they can get confused and make mistakes so unless you want all dogs on leads at all times (which would potentially be a fair argument) I will respectfully disagree with most of you.

And this is why there should be an IQ test before you are allowed a dog.

People can tell op she is unreasonable until they are blue in the face, selfish ignorant dog owners will sadly always remain so.

DNLove · 05/10/2023 21:39

Let me guess you shouted "oh he's really friendly". I despise any dog running at me, jumping up on, coming in my children's space. Your dog on the beach jumping on me with wet paws dirties my clothes. It scared me because I don't know the dog.
That man didn't stop to look and assess your dog for friendliness, nor should he have to. A strange dog comes running at you out of nowhere and jumping up on you, of course you're going to react negatively.
The news is full of dog attacks at the moment.
Take some personal responsibility. Your dog has no right to invade anyone's else space and it is your responsibility to make sure it doesn't.

2024815pm · 05/10/2023 21:40

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 05/10/2023 21:30

His reaction was obviously very extreme and not acceptable. That said, he was with a small child, and there is nothing more annoying than someone else’s dog running and jumping at you. It’s just not acceptable and the dog should be under control.

The very small dog approached a guy and jumped on him, reaching his knees. There's no account of the wee tiny dog anywhere near a child. The man is a bully, end of

CatamaranViper · 05/10/2023 21:40

MrsH1992 · 05/10/2023 21:36

To clarify my dog was 11 months old and usually has perfect recall and on this one occasion did not. She never jumps up at people she does not know apart from this one time which is why I'm sure she mistook this guy for my dad.

For those who asked she's a bichon poodle cross and was 4kg then and 5.4kg now fully grown.

I don't think one isolated incident makes her an 'out if control' dog as most of you seem to think. Even the best trained dog can't be 100% reliable at all times, just like people they can get confused and make mistakes so unless you want all dogs on leads at all times (which would potentially be a fair argument) I will respectfully disagree with most of you.

So why post a thread?

Your dog was out of control on this occasion because you could not control the dog. If your dog was not out of control, you would have been able to control her.

Sure she doesn't sound like a Cujo in the making level of out of control, but on this occasion, she was, which means you need to revisit your training before you let her off the lead again

78Summer · 05/10/2023 21:40

He may have had a bad experience with a dog and his child previously. A dog with poor recall should not be off the lead.

EtiennePalmiere · 05/10/2023 21:41

You're what's wrong with this country, OP

CatamaranViper · 05/10/2023 21:42

A bichon poodle mix is not a doodle... they're Poochon.

KajsaKavat · 05/10/2023 21:42

If they can’t be 100% reliable then they should not be off the lead. EVER!!!!!

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 21:43

Your dog is very violent, it touched him and attacked him, it didn't leave when you called and he had a small child!! You must be completely mad to think that could be ok.
@Lostcotter I do hope the police arrested the crazy dog owner and supported the poor man who had to defend himself from attack. Dogs are a weapon.

ActDottie · 05/10/2023 21:44

His reaction was over the top! and I totally get what you mean about when dogs see someone they think they know but it turns out it’s not! I think your dog needs better recall but from the reaction you describe he was waaaayyyy over the top.

kegofcoffee · 05/10/2023 21:44

YABU for having your dog, that you know had recall, off the lead in a public place.

If the guy really was as aggressive as you say, then obviously he was being unreasonable. But then again parents can do crazy things if their protection instincts kicked in.

My 3 year old daughter is terrified of dogs because a puppy with bad recall ran up to us all excited, jumping up. I absolutely adore dogs, but if I'm with her and a dog runs up to us, I get seriously peed off with the owner. It's always 'ohhh, im so sorry, they're friendly, they just want to save hello' downplaying it as my daughter is absolutely distraught by the whole thing. It's making it impossible to help her overcome her fear and I'm gradually getting less and less tolerant to the owners.

Cowlover89 · 05/10/2023 21:45

Yabu

Concernedfriend2023 · 05/10/2023 21:45

His reaction was may seem extreme, but I do understand it.

I like dogs, but was in the park with my two young children at the weekend, when a black lab bounced over because he wanted the ball we were playing with. Owners were way away, elderly with walking sticks so couldn't get to him quickly, dog had no recall whatsoever and was jumping up to try and get the ball. My 3 year old was in tears, and actually, I felt very intimidated in that moment and shaken for a while after. And black labs are my absolute favourite dog, so I'm not scared of them in general. Turns out he was a rescue dog they'd only had for 3 days, so not sure why it was off lead.

If the man had his child with him and is scared if dogs in general, can absolute see why he got in a flap. Keep your dog on a lead.

Boomboom22 · 05/10/2023 21:45

Also there is no such thing as a dog beach. Only ones where they are allowed. The law still applies in terms of always under control and humans always come first. Your dog should never be approaching other people. Really shocking people have to be told this stuff. 🙄

BabySharkDooDooDooDooDooDooDooDoo · 05/10/2023 21:46

I knew before I read the post that it would be majority YABU. But I can’t see how the guy didn’t overreact, it’s a tiny doodle, not a large ridgeback. Yes obviously the dog shouldn’t have approached anyone but the bloke should not have threatened anyone, would have scared his child more than a dog the size of a rat. Massively disproportionate reaction.