Just as it says in the title really.
Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.
I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.
We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.
Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.
He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.
I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?
Thank you

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

I only want to wear trainers but honestly it looks mental on me wearing socks or tights - I just can’t get over myself!

Boots are completely fine in winter, love them. But I need a solution for spring/autumn. Summer I can wear flat sandals.

I feel like I’m a Bobby Soxer or in Grease if I wear them with my usual white socks. I think I’m just too old for that look.

So... sunday lunch/ dinner at someone's house, what time would you reasonably expect to eat?

One side of the family (a) thinks 12-1 for lunch or 5 onwards for dinner. There are young children in the family and this makes sense for their meals, but also this are the general times in mind when planning the day.

The other side (b) think any time between 1 and 4 - usually around 3.30, but this changes, as this is the general vibe in restaurants etc.

A thinks b are ruleless heathens, b thinks a is uptight and inflexible.

Oh the poll hasn't worked! I had put who was right a b or neither but for some reason it hasn't saved that way

How fabulous did Joan Collins look at Cannes yesterday! That dress accentuates her strengths...shoulders, legs and camouflages her midsection and arms. She carries it off with her usual style and elegance. In my opinion she looks amazing!

Morning all. I sold an item yesterday (leggings), which came through with a message saying they had let someone buy using a disabled postage method but I could cancel if I wanted. I decided to proceed even though I'd have to go to the Post Office which is why I disabled Royal Mail in the first place.

Anyway, label comes through for a small parcel and it's Large Letter which has just been added to Vinted as an option. The Vinted guidelines for a small parcel I'm sure are for a padded envelope as medium is for items that would go in a shoebox.

I did manage to squeeze them into an A4 envelope and hope for the best but I would advise you to select medium if it's not going to go through a 2.5cm slot!

A friend thinks that it’s a ripoff but it seems like a pretty good deal to me and I’m curious to know what it would cost in your area?

12 inch pizza with two toppings. Fish and chips for one(Two pieces of fish) A portion of chips, a portion of onion rings and a 2 litre bottle of Coke?

TIA

I am making plans for summer 2027. My son would like to visit the BMW museum in Germany and would like to plan a 7-10 day road trip around that.
We would be travelling from Wiltshire, through the tunnel to France. No plans beyond that. It would be nice to visit some other countries too. I don't want to be driving miles and mies every day.
I like countryside, peace and quiet and nice views. Ideally we would mostly stop rurally or in pretty little towns.
Any suggestions for routes, places to stop/stay would be gratefully received.
Also, any other suggestions for good car related stops? He would also like visit the Nurburgring andIunderstandthat the Porschemuseum is in Stuttgart. He will be 16 next year and this may well be our last overseas holiday as a family so happy to tailor it to him to some extent.
Just 1 x 16yo and 2x adults.
Thanks.

Not stylish AT ALL but I have finally found a housecoat after months of searching. I have a white cat with longish fur and a black cat so everything I wear in the house is instantly a cat fur magnet and I have spent a fortune on sticky rollers and invariably go out looking like a furry mess....lovely.
I had given up hope of ever finding one. I remember my grandmother wearing one round the house. She was incredibly stylish and well dressed and would never have exposed her nice clothes to children, animals or housework but would take it off if she was going out or expecting visitors.
I think they are due for a comeback 😀

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09RPX62RS/ref=syn_sd_offsite_mobileweb_50?ie=UTF8&psc=1&aref=z12Im60v0s&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zZF9vZmZzaXRlX21vYmlsZXdlYg&tag=dradisplay0bb-21&th=1

Please can people suggest shoes and a jacket/shawl/something to keep me warm or if it's raining?
It's for DC graduation and also a wedding.
I'll need super comfy shoes and something for if it's chilly.
I'm normally a jeans and jumper person, so not sure where to start!
Thank you!

Could anyone offer any thoughts on any of these names please? Rosanna, Amy, Bethany, Cara, Christina, Abigail, Faith, Hope, Joanna, Holly, Rhiannon, Tessa, Leona, Alice, Leah, Mariah. Really struggling to narrow it down! Thanks!

I've been at my job for 3 years and recently raised to my manager that I do more than is in my JD and would like my salary to be reviewed. They agreed and also said they would like to change some aspects of my JD. I was then informed that because my JD and salary are changing I will need to re-interview for my job and it will be externally advertised too.

I have a job interview for another job of much higher pay for similar work, I'm in the mindset now of fuck my current job and put all my time outside of work towards preparing for this other interview.

Any advice or thoughts on this??

I'm so annoyed and humiliated that I'll possibly lose my current job to a better candidate

It can be anything!!

I will start..

I am a food safety inspector (local authority) and have been for over 15 years, working in two large cities, and my current job in a smaller local authority. The same theme...

Food handlers do NOT wash their hands properly after using the toilet / before preparing your food.. lack of antibacterial soap in a toilet cubicle or in a kitchen is common place.... even when I am there, hands are not washed, it is an absolute bug bear of mine.

Preparing with raw meat then handling food ready to eat.. not uncommon

Handling cash / touching screens then handling food.. not uncommon.

Yes it does put me off eating outside of my house unfortunately 🙃

I have come across a LOT worse but this example irritates me.

Your turn!!!!!

I have seen quite a few posts on here about people looking for private secondary schools for their ND children.

Having been through this process relatively recently (and still feeling pretty bruised by it!) I wondered whether a thread for others to share their experience might be useful?

personally, we were looking for a school in London/ SE. My DS is clever and high functioning ASD but the private schools locally didn't want to know - he passed the entrance exams (I had to do DSARs for a couple of schools as they were not willing to admit it) but was always told that they could not accommodate his needs.

However, his prep and Educational Psychologist both said his needs were minor. The LA said his needs were minor and he would be fine in mainstream school, he got a place at the local comp. The different interpretation of the same reports is wild.

I honestly don't know what to think anymore. His current school are very happy with him and apart from using a laptop to write extended pieces of English work he has no different treatment to anyone else.

It still pains me a bit though - he is at a smaller school that I worry might close for financial reasons, he will probably have to move for 6th form (few exam choices)and he has less options (educationally and extra curricular) than his friends who went to bigger independents. He still asks if transferring to these other schools (where his friends have gone and he hears how wonderful they are) now he has "proved himself" is possible - they don't want to know.
He isn't massively happy at school (not made many friends- he still has his friends from primary) and it is an annoying journey to get there but we have no other closer (private) options - I have kept him on the waiting list for the state school we think will suit him but there has been little movement over the past year (in fact we have moved down the list since December).

I just feel we have massively failed him and regret ever getting his diagnosis. He is going to be held back forever as a result.

Coming to London from NI this coming weekend (Sat - Mon).

Will be Ryanair hand luggage only so really limited.

Live in NI and atm its flitting between absolutely freezing and jumper/tshirt weather.

Going to Chelsea/Belgravia to see the on street floral displays and to 1 show. Shopping, some nice food and a bit of wandering about.

Had hopes for nice dresses but think it's possibly a bit too cold?

Atm planning to bring

Slightly mad trousers, tshirt, long denim shacket

Jeans, vest, shirt

Jeans, tshirt/jumper, denim shacket

Trench coat.

Trainers.

Too hot/too cold? Thoughts?

Just to update you all who were so lovely last night - I was even worse overnight so called 111, they said to wait to GP appt this morning.

At the appointment GP did my vitals, checked my ear (which is now fully closed shut) and advised me to go straight to A&E to get IV antibiotics.

Still waiting as need to be assessed by ENT but they are taking great care of me. Decent pain relief, have fed me and going very regular obs. They’ve also done swabs to see what infection we are dealing with.

People moan about the NHS but honestly, I cannot fault the treatment I’ve had, even if it is taking a bit longer to be properly admitted than I thought.

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

My Man had this emotional web situation with this girl back a year ago. They ended up meeting once. He claims they never did anything. This was before I met him, by the way. I heard around that he would call her on blocked numbers every month since then.

I’ve found some texts in his phone which are questionable. About two months ago, they got back into contact. He was sending her messages telling her that she’s still in love with him, like a lot of teasing on his part. She texted him asking for advice regarding a man, and he went off. She’ll block him, then unblock him, and every time she does, he comes running to text her.

Him: “Don’t ever play on my phone like that.”

Him- don’t ever contact me about another man, so and so. He then blows her up like 5 times.

I confronted him about this. He said it was all jokes and how this is how they play. Yet from the texts, he came off very upset and bothered that she was dating other men.

Fast forward to now, I seen they got into an argument and he called her out of her name, vice versa. Then he calls her 5 times. Kept telling her that he knew she was going to unblock him. Then he sent her three voice memos telling her to admit that she misses him, and how he might miss her a little and care for her a little.

Then I seen that he called her at 3 a.m. She cussed him out and told him not to ever call her at that time.

He later on admitted that he only got love for her as a friend. Then I seen messages of him telling her he has feelings for a girl, that he’s pretty much in a relationship, and how his girl goes through his phone and is cool with it, which I’m not.

Him:
“We homies lol.”
“My girl not even tripping fr.”
“She be in my phone, she seen it all.”
“But you know I got love for you (her full name).”

Yet he just blew her phone up two days ago and called her at 3 a.m. last night.

It seems like she contacts him when she’s bored, and they get into these mini arguments, yet he blows her up and gets emotionally involved with it. I know it’s not good, yet I don’t want to end things over something that isn’t serious.

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

Sorry this is long.

My Dad has very very kindly paid off my mortgage but I am unsure about advice they've been given by their financial advisor regarding inheritance tax.

I don't think the IFA will know as much as a solicitor on this and after I did a Google I am a bit concerned.

Basically, I know that if Dad does within 7 years then if it is a gift it will go back into the estate and there may well be IHT to pay.

Dad has been advised to make this a loan and he has written a letter for me to sign to say I don't have to pay it back but it is a loan. They think this makes it excluded from IHT. From my googling, I don't think it does. (I haven't asked them to do this at all btw..any of it).

From what I understand, it would either be regarded as a legitimate loan in which case it is owed to the estate on his death unless the letter clearly states it is written off when he dies. Then it would just be regarded as a gift anyway, particularly if it's a loan from family with no repayment plan

I don't see any benefit to me for this to be a loan. I don't think it gets around any IHT implications and could just make things more complicated?

There's certainly no intention for me to pay it back by Dad and he thinks he's doing it to benefit me and get out of IHT liability if he does die within 7 years.

Does anyone know about this ?

Also, he said if I did end up owing IHT, he thinks if it is a gift then I would owe it from my half of the inheritance (not my sister). But again, I think this is wrong. Wouldn't it just go back into the estate. It wouldn't be me personally owing the tax. It's be the estate and then whatever is left after IHT would be divided between me and sis?

I hate all this stuff. It was an incredibly kind thing to do (done because I may not be able to carry on working to 67 due to health issues) so he's trying to look after me now. I'm just nervous that this is just going to cause stress later.

He hasn't done his will yet either and needs to do this.

A bit of a whinge really and wondering if it is the same for other people. I find sandals so bloody hard to find.

Criteria
Leather
Comfortable
Look stylish - not orthopaedic or for the very elderly
Absolutely no velcro
Can't have a solid strap across the toes, as I have skinny feet and they are always too wide
Ankle or heel strap needed
No wedge heels
No high heels
Not completely flat either
No toe posts
No studs, sequins or anything sparkly

Realise that is a lot of criteria, but it must be possible!

WTF if going on with jeans?

Why are they all messing with my lady parts? Like literally squishing and smooshing them in not a pleasant way. My poor parts feel a little bruised and chaffed.

1. I’m not wearing small knickers
2. sizing up or down makes no difference
3. this is from m and s pricing upwards (via John Lewis to Me +Em)

Has the COL shortened gussets?
have my perimeno labia grown to ridiculous sizes?
is it just me?

I'm posting here as it tends to get the most responses and I am trying to make a hard decision.

I have 2 beautiful little boys (2 and 8 weeks) I love them more than I ever thought I could love anyone. However, I feel a constant feeling of wanting to have a little girl. I have spoken to my partner about having a 3rd in 2 years or so and he has agreed but I can't quite bring myself to commit the thought in my mind.

Part of me thinks my partner is agreeing to it as he knows its what I want but he isn't overly invested in the 2 we have currently so I'm not sure.

I am also very concious that I could have a 3rd and it would be another boy (I would love him dearly but would I then want a 4th to try for a girl again)

Thirdly I am very aware that the world is bloody expensive and I am trying really hard not to work (or not more than very part time at a minimum wage job) during my boys childhood. We could technically afford 3 without me working/part time but it would be a very basic life for their entire childhood with very little outings or trips etc.

I know in my heart I want more children but would it be unreasonable given the above?

The en suite sink has been very slow draining and sometimes water has been sitting in sink until following day..I’ve tried vinegar and baking soda twice a few days ago, drain snake nothing unblocked it.
So this evening about 7pm dh decided to put sink unblocker into sink but he had to remove stagnant water that had been sitting there first then he poured the unblocker into sink and its still sitting there it hasn’t moved.
I’m really stressed about toxic gas so I’ve come downstairs to try and sleep on settee not happening! dh is mad thinks I’m overreacting as I left the en suite light on for the vent and opened the bedroom window a bit.. I was scared fumes would get into our bedroom ..so I’m worried the chemical will still be sitting in sink in morning what do I do obviously we can’t get it out