Was Paul Newman, discuss

I've decided to treat myself, but I don't know where to start.

Firstly I don't know what else to call the kind of bag I'm after, hence "status" bag. I like Chanel, LV, which I know some fashionistas like to sneer at, so please, if that's you, respect that we all have different preferences.

I'm looking for a lovely every day bag, that I don't look stupid with on the school run etc. We live rurally, and didn't before, so all my Chanel and LV with chain straps etc would look majorly over done and I'd feel ridiculous wandering round town on casual shop with one. I do sometimes take my neverful but I'd like something much smaller. Slouchy and comfy as opposed to stiff leather.

What's a casual but still "status" bag that I could go for? I don't like massive gold logos etc like the GG Gucci bags, or the ones with big YSLs down the front. I would like it to be recognisable as branded, but from close up, not from across the street if you see what I mean.

Thank you.

Not a real scenario, watching eastenders, and have thought about being asked to donate something to an unknown sibling

I dunno, I dont know if I would 🤔

DH has bought something for the house without mentioning it to me and I am honestly a bit annoyed.

It was about £40 so its not like he's gone mad or anything but its something we absolutely did not need and I would have rather the money went towards other things tbh.

I only found out because the parcel turned up and when I asked what it was he said he'd ordered it a couple of days ago. I said I wish he'd mentioned it first and he said why, its hardly a big purchase and he doesn't ask me before buying things for himself.

I do see that point but I don't really think its the same when its something for the house? Especially when we've got other things coming up that we need to pay for.

I am not saying he needs to ask permission every time he spends money btw. If he wants to buy himself something with his own money then obviously thats different. But if its coming out of our joint account for something that is basically unnecessary then surely its reasonable to discuss it first?

He thinks I'm being controlling and making an issue out of nothing.

AIBU?

I have been trying to grow out my grey with "grey blending" for several years now - the first attempt 3 years ago was a disaster and I lost 12 inches of hair due to over-processing. I'm having another go since the damage has grown out and I'm 9-10 months in, but I feel like it still looks awful.

Bearing in mind the images won't load immediately while they're waiting for approval, the first two are what I was looking for; the others are my actual hair which is 3 sessions of "grey blending" using high lift, not bleach, approx 10 months after I last had it dyed one colour at a salon. At the last scheduled session 3 months ago I mentioned that I hadn't actually wanted to go lighter all over to disguise the grey (I only have grey at the front and temples, very little anywhere else), I had just wanted to smudge the line as it grew out but otherwise stay dark throughout the rest. I also asked if there was a way to tone down or break up the warm ends. They seemed very sceptical, said a toner to get rid of the yellow/copper tones wouldn't work and there was no point putting any darker sections back in (?), so this is what I'm left with.

I accept that there will be warmth where there was previously salon dye. What I wasn't expecting, was for the rest of my hair to be light - so now I have the opposite problem (dark roots and gold ends) on the rest of my head. How do I ask a stylist to break up the warmth at the ends with some cool/neutral browns but preserve the grown out grey? Without it going wrong again? Surely there's something I can do to get closer to what I wanted, without cutting it all off again?

My ex brother in law has booked a holiday next week for a week. He is a single Dad to my nephew. He had child care sorter, I thought anyway. This childcare turns out to be a bit flakey so he has asked me if I can do a few days to help. It would mean staying at his house cos of their pets. I work full time and have a 6 day week next week. He didn't give ne any warning just turned up this evening to ask

Yet another new thread for more Sussex shenanigans!

Is this too much to wear to the office? I wore it with a belt so wondering if I was over dressed?

Is there any thread on here for those who have trouble sleeping at night? Just to keep each other company and feel less alone? Would be great if there is x

Currently having an actual panic attack about Russia bombing the UK and me and my kid dying.

If you’re married with young kids, how do you share finances?
Do you have a joint account?
I’m 30 and married and we have 2 toddlers.
I prefer to keep my money separate to my husband. For a long time I was the breadwinner as he was in training for his role and so I built up savings and investments. We both contribute to household bills and things for the kids, and have roughly an equal amount of “fun money”.
Recently he’s brought a well run franchise and needed money for the deposit (around £30k) so of course I gave it. When I told my friends I expect it back later they were surprised and said it’s his too.

My sister went through a messy divorce and ended up with nothing and me and husband are happily married I just feel more comfortable having my own foundation, is that unreasonable?

I've just come to bed and I'm disappointed again by the terrible quality of the items I bought.

I paid for next day delivery several hours before the cut off (I paid at 2pm and the cut off is 7pm) but my items didn't arrive until three days later.

I ordered one pair of soft feels like down king size pillows and one pair of 200 thread count plain pillowcases.

The pillows are incredibly flat and feel empty. Yes, I chose the soft version but they're about an inch thick and don't feel soft at all. My old pillows have been in use for about 18 months now and are still double the thickness. One pillow has a section with no filling at all.

The pillowcases are genuinely awful; incredibly rough even after washing several times. They're so rough they've irritated my skin and I can't use them. I washed them at 30c as the label advised, using Fairy laundry detergent which I use for all of my washing. One case also had a long piece of cotton hanging from it. When I looked more closely there is a hole in the seam.

Overall I'm incredibly disappointed because the quality of both products is absolutely shocking. I can't return the pillowcases because I've washed them, and I removed the tags from the pillows so they can't go back either.

I'm genuinely considering asking my back to do a charge back because the items were not worth the money.

dusk.com/products/pair-of-feels-like-down-pillows

dusk.com/products/pair-of-plain-dye-classic-pillowcases-200-thread-count-white

Be it Vinted, EBay or charity shops.

What brands were or are known for quality in design and materials like wool and silk?

My partner was on a tram with our 4 year old and a woman was having a loud call on speakerphone so the whole tram could hear and was swearing loudly so my partner told her to stop swearing in front of our child. I think he should have avoided a potential confrontation and just moved away or got off. His argument was there was nowhere on the tram you could go where couldn’t hear her. Am I being dramatic or is it really not that much of a big deal.

DC is starting year 11 in September. They are not academic and don’t want to do A levels. They want to go to college. They have always said they want to be an actor and done some performing related stuff but not a lot. They want part time studies so they can work too.

I not sure how to guide them towards other courses and which ones ? They also mentioned music.

They will probably do part time acting course but need a backup career/job something that provides a steady income so they can make a living. They also said they didn’t want an office job.

The first I met this guy was at an event, felt an immediate strong connection to him like I need this person in my life. I had the best day for a long time just being with him.

Anyway I am quite content single after my break up last year, so really not too fussed about dating! But when he was quite persistent in going out, I thought why not.

We went out today and we were together for 10 hours! At one point we bumped into my friends too and they loved him. Now here's the thing - I felt there was flirting banter, lots of extended eye contact etc...he rubbed my shoulder at one point and took my hand in his briefly to inspect my fake tattoo from a festival we went to (and I did the same with him!) - but no kiss! I put myself right up close to him on two occasions, once in the bar, and when we were lying down in the park, that would've given him the chance. I'm kind of wondering if the attraction wasn't strong enough for him because of this?

We hugged at the end and he immediately suggested meeting up again. AIBU? I worry we're going to fall into the friendzone. I don't know if it's my expectations.

11yo DS is autistic and has an eating disorder called ARFID. Im begging for help but no-one seems concerned.

When diagnosed 4 years ago he was between 25th - 50th centile for weight. Since then he has gradually slipped down the char until now hes off the bottom (below 0.4 centile).

Hes so weak and tired that 5 minutes at a park completely wipes him out. Hes breathless walking up the stairs. Because of the autism he struggles hugely with demands so I cant just tell him to eat/drink.

Though he does eat its very restrictive and every day there's a calorie deficit of 800-900 calories. He has several vitamin deficiencies but cant tolerate the oral supplements. We've attempted what feels like all supplement drink/shake options and he just gags and refuses them. Fljid kntake is a huge concern also - drinking around 500ml a day (can be less) is normal for him.

Dietitian said a few months ago that if things didn't improve he would need a feeding tube as the next step. DS wants this. He is excited to have pressure to eat and drink removed and wants to be healthier. It would mean medicines and supplements can be given through the tube also.

Hes been referred for a PEG but the waiting list is a minimum of 12 months.

Monitoring his intake, noticing cold extremities and mottled skin and trying to encourage without demanding are taking a huge toll on me. He is literally wasting away in front of my eyes. But because he is 'stable' (ha!) at home and not actively in organ failure it's apparently fine to just keep going.

Im so desperately worried for him but no-one seems to be taking it seriously 😭

Our 13mo will be going to nursery soon and I'm thinking through what clothes to send her in. Nursery have said waterproof and coat and warmer clothes when needed. In nursery they go on a few trips in the big buggies and play in the garden.

When it was last cold she was obviously a lot smaller and she was in pram suits in pram with a foot muff.

What I'm struggling with is firstly she can't independently stand/walk yet and does a lot of crawling around or pulling to stand with support, so any warm clothes would need to keep legs warm and dry too. And she doesn't have shoes yet as doesn't need but perhaps I buy now?

She's also quite skinny, 8.4kg ish in weight (9th percentile) so trousers don't stay around her waist, she wears tighter leggings but they're obviously quite thin and not suitable for winter.

Any help from those been through this please? Hoping to buy a few bits this weekend so it's sorted. Thanks!

Call me old fashioned, but isn't this sort of thing likely to provoke a run on toilet rolls? Couldnt find any other threads on it, but I think there is a "preppers" topic on here somewhere. In any case, what do you think? I'm sort of concerned, should I be? Or has this gone under the radar?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2026/aug/25/uk-to-warn-citizens-to-stock-up-on-food-amid-threat-from-climate-crisis-and-hostile-states

I met a woman through a local hobby (fitness group) that I volunteer for. When she became pregnant she stopped training. We realised we live on the same street (six houses apart) and I began going swimming with her to help keep her fitness up. I don't love swimming but it was nice for the company and it meant we could share a (my) car.

She messaged after she had the baby but said no visitors. Then when baby was there months old she offered to call over so I could meet him. I was delighted, had a gift, made the place comfortable for them both. She called over and stayed four hours even thought I was feeding DC around her. I was expecting a much shorter visit and had to get firm explaining I needed to get DC ready for bed. She ate dinner and dessert too.

Then she suggested visiting again so I said yes but let's go for a walk this time with baby and stop at a coffee shop. Three times she has come then said no it's easier to just come in, I've no blanket, it's going to rain, my hip is sore. Every single time I have to ask her to leave after the visit drags on saying "I'm sorry I have things to do" repeatedly. The last time she firmly said she wouldn't as baby was sleeping and she couldn't disturb. Then when he woke up she started setting him up for feeding and I had to carry him to his carrier, open the door and walk them home.

I don't have time to sit and chat for hours. I understand she's lonely but we aren't close friends and she never actually asks me about myself or let's me talk so it doesn't even feel like a friendship developing. I feel like some sort of public service that's there to support her keep her spirits up while she can't exercise with us.

A few days ago was the final straw. She had messaged and instead of ignoring it (as she often turns up then regardless) I replied and said don't call over, I'm far too busy. She read the message. My DH then came upstairs and told me she was in the sitting room waiting for me.

I came down and quite bluntly said "I told you I was busy, so I don't know why you're here. I'll have to ask you to leave."

My DH was horrified and said to me afterwards he was very embarrassed that I would be so nasty. He walked her around with the baby and he's not off with me.

I hadn't really spoken to him about how much she was annoying me as I thought I just need to deal with it differently.

I don't know what I'm asking but I'm feeling shitty now.

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

Bear with me MN community as I try and articulate this.
Been married for 16 years. Two children, 12 and 9.
About 5 years ago I posted on here about finding a bag of cocaine on my driveway. It was 830 in the morning and my husband, when confronted said it was a one off, he'd been struggling etc. Said he'd felt suicidal etc. I helped him at the time.
Fast forward to now. No particular concerns since the last "one off" event. But I walked into the kitchen a week ago to find him with a rolling pin and a bag of powder, crushing it down. He immediately barged past me to get rid of it out of the the house and spend two hours lying about what it was. Initially tried to tell me it is was "German energy powder". He then said it was amphetamine he'd got from the dark web after feeling concerned about extreme fatigue and he was preparing it as a precaution rather than planning to take it. He was about to leave to pick up our kids from their grandparents.
I know the answer here but is there any chance he's not a complete addict who's had a problem since I caught him out the first time? I'm quietly planning a divorce. I am the bigger earner and the house is mine so it's not about assets, I just feel like a dick, especially when he is still saying these two times I caught him out were isolated incidents. I don't care about the marriage now - that's over - but how do I discredit his crap?

My fiance (M33) didn't come home last night after a night out in our nearest city. I (F33) am so shocked my anger hasn't kicked in yet. We get married in 7 weeks.

He had this night out planned for a little while, going out with a work friend for some food and one of those interactive game places to do darts etc. Later in the night he bumped into a mutual friend of ours who I know is a big drinker and one for nights out. The last time I heard from him was 9:30 where he sent a selfie of the two of them and a comment about our friend's crazy stories. He said he was getting the last train at 11:30 so would be home around midnight. So I went to sleep.

I wake up at 6am to our hungry cats, notice he is not in bed or the spare room and nothing on the Ring doorbell to show he had come home. I presumed he had stayed at friend's house in the city and just said 'look send me a message when you wake up and I can pick you up'. He replied quite quickly saying he was getting the first train home. I asked where he slept and he gave a garbled response saying our friend left him and by that time it was 2am. He went to a late night place and then just walked around and then slept outside a church. He had a thick rain coat on but I was so shocked at his response and disregard for his own personal safety. He had just been paid so could have afforded a taxi or got a cheap hotel or something. He was still quite drunk when I picked him up but he seemed remorseful and in fact quite shocked at his actions. He's sleeping it off now and we'll talk later. It was pouring with rain outside as well.

For context, my partner does like a drink but is not a frequent drinker. His last crazy night out was his stag in June and before that a few months before. We do drink together. I have no concerns about him cheating or anything like being aggressive. But it feels like a switch goes in his head and he just has no regard for his actions and keeps drinking.

He is a good, loving, kind, funny man, he is very loving, affectionate and we have a good relationship. But this has thrown me. If this happened more frequently I wouldn't be with him. If this was earlier in our relationship, it would be a big red flag. We got together in our mid twenties when this kind of thing could be laughed off as part of youth but at 33 you should know better.

I know I sound horrible. I know I’ll get lots of hate saying leave him the poor man but I know a lot of women feel the same.
I love him but he just gets on my nerves anyone feel the same? Give me stories / things your husbands do that grate on you like a fork on a brick wall. 😂 I know I sound vile. I’m honestly not, just ughhhhh shudder.

Long story short DH and I have been married 6 years and have 2 very young dc.
About 3 years ago I snooped and found sexual messages to a woman. I confronted him and he admitted it was an old flame and it was just a couple days of messaging, he was sorry etc. we’d been going through a short separation completely unrelated to cheating and we’d just got back together, so I couldn’t understand why he wound message her while he was reconciling. However I’ve never gotten over it and it’s spiralling out of control. I can’t bring myself to ever check his phone again, I’m so frightened. It’s made me deeply insecure, I even check the woman’s Facebook and torture myself. I get paranoid, like tonight his phone is on flight mode - It’s left out and I took it off flight mode just to see if anything popped up. I cannot live like this anymore. I feel like I am going crazy, I don’t know wether I am severely paranoid from this or he’s up to something all the time. There’s no talking to him either, I’ve tried and his answer is it’s been years and to get over it. Why can’t I seem to move on?