Hi all. I've got an 18mo DD who is just, a firecracker. She's always called a happy baby by everyone, and she is, but she's also absolutely savage and insane. Everything is a delight and a game and a reason to get overexcited.

Sometimes she gets handsy, other times she throws toys or pulls hair. With us, we don't mind so much but nursery have now put her on a behaviour plan! I never heard of such a thing.

When she started to be like this around 12-14mo we used to firmly tell her not to, remove her from the situation or toy or person, but not over labour the point so as not to give her attention over it. She loves the attention. We also got given a sticker chart and a set of laminated cards with red stop signs or happy or sad faces etc to help her identify her feelings or to know when to stop.

I know all toddlers can get this way but my older DD who's now 6 was never this bad. She's now on a behaviour plan where the nursery tries to track any triggers or particular people but they're not spotting any pattern. They ring us almost daily now with something she's done, and mostly she's not hurting other kids though there have been a couple of occasions of pushing or pulling. She knows how to say sorry and does it well, so understands the concepts of no or kind hands. But the thing is, for her, it's never a tantrum or upset or malicious behaviour it's the opposite- she's just happy and overexcited and misplaces the energy. She doesn't realise when she could hurt someone, she just has this thrilled look in her eye like it's all play.

At this point I genuinely feel like my little happy girl might be the first ever baby to get expelled from a nursery! I half feel indignant because, why are the nursery staff ringing me to check if I've been using the sticker chart properly when I'm at work... she's literally a 1 year old baby who can't speak yet. She's just about starting to pick up single words now. On the other hand, I know she's more demanding than my first and handsy and I'm starting to feel like a bad mum. But I literally don't know what else I can do? If I tell her off even more she just wiggles away or gets happier from the attention and eye contact. She's kind of feral but we love it and think it's just her baby nature and will grow out of it. But is there something I'm missing? Could we be trying something else? Any advice much appreciated! At this daily rate I'm sure they're going to tell us they can't handle her and we need to leave soon!

Hoping for some advice please!

DH and I have 2 DDs, 9 and 7. He has a DD from a previous relationship, 17.

In a bit of a tricky situation. Over the years, contact has dwindled from around 40% to 1-2 nights a month. Mostly due to her age, outings with her friends etc.

It’s now been 6 weeks since she has been here. She did pop in for dinner a couple weeks ago but abruptly left when DH asked her what she’d like to do after college/if he could help her search for a job or apprenticeship etc. - she got really annoyed and told him to basically keep his nose out of her life (paraphrasing - she was very rude). For full context: she has always been reluctant to talk about it and has said she wants to do nothing, so nothing sinister going on just a being teen I think! (Hope!). Whilst this is an ongoing theme we are worried about her prospects, lack of drive and qualifications at the moment. Especially since this outburst. She’s never been that rude to DH before.

We haven’t heard from her since. Her little sisters are missing her terribly and don’t understand why she left abruptly.

Here’s the other issue: we’re meant to be going to Spain on a family holiday in half term. It’s our first abroad holiday in a few years due to cost, and we saved hard to make sure we could bring all of the girls. We don’t know if she’s expecting to come or not. DH is of the opinion if she only wants to see her sisters when she’s getting a holiday he’d rather she didn’t come.

WWYD? About her options post college and also the holiday?

thanks in advance x

Have been going a bit mad lately trying to work out my style after a few years of living rurally and losing my way a bit. I really love the style of Me+Em and COS - simple, one point of interest, no fuss or flounces type thing, but although I can find the odd piece that works for me, I’m just too short at 5’2” for most of their clothes. Suspect I’m looking for the holy grail here but can anyone please suggest any brands that have a similar vibe but that work for petites?

A friend is getting married in NYC later this year. The dress code is black tie. The venue has not been disclosed and will not be disclosed until the day of the event to avoid media attention as they are within the celebrity sphere (I know them through family and am very much not from this world)
Any advice on something suitably glamorous given there may be a few A listers present and I don’t want to look out of place? I’m 5’7, size 8-10. Budget not really an issue

My parents separated in my childhood, which meant I travelled back and forth between their houses. Once they both got new partners and had more children, I never felt truly welcome in either home because my step mum or dad prioritised their own nuclear family by blood.

My parents were deeply unsuitable for each other and would have made each other and me very unhappy had they stayed together, so despite the pain it caused me being divided between two families, it was the right decision.

However I often read on here or hear in real life the advice “is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Divorce him” in response to someone in a marriage which has lost its shine or there are some differences in lifestyle etc.

A couple chooses to have children, I think keeping the home together for the sake of them is more important than meeting their own wants and whims. Even if that means therapy, hard work and agreeing on differences.

I am not talking about relationships where the couple is deeply unhappy and has unresolveable differences (for example one isn’t pulling their weight), which are making for an unhappy home.

AIBU to think the instinct to break up a family is too quick now?

I mean the stuff you mix with water; not the stuff in cartons!

I'm aware you can get it with orange but does it exist by itself as squash, does anyone know?

I would like to take my daughter to Africa on holiday. For context, I am Black British and my husband is white. He does not like long-haul flights and is refusing to agree to the trip. His view is that because I visited South Africa four years ago, there is no need for us to travel to Africa again, and that we should choose a closer destination such as Europe instead.
My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

My husband is threatening to divorce me, should I go ahead and book the holiday?

I didn’t know which category to put this in! Would especially love to hear opinions from seasoned campers and vanners.
we need to release money for our sons house deposit. We don’t have it all so would remortgage for some of it.
we have a VW campervan which we could sell
basically the financial difference between keeping or selling the van would be around £400 over 4 and a half years.
just writing it out here it seems like a no brainer!
but we do love our weekends in the van. Anyone switched to a tent from a van and kept their relationship intact? We tend to just do weekends.

I feel soooo cold unless it's 20° or more! I need a jacket to go with light coloured Spring clothing, preferably cream coloured, that looks right but feels like a North Face puffer! Any ideas?

I’m a nosy (English teacher of a…) year 6 parent.
Any idea what was in this year’s SATs papers? Any of the spellings? Sort of thing in the reading paper? Child can’t remember and not going to pester on at them to remember just because I am so keen to know! :)

I am desperate to find a pinky nude matte-ish lipstick similar to the ones Lucy Punch wears in Amandaland. I’m quite pale and find Pillow Talk comes out REALLY orange on me.

Does anyone have any ideas?

I’m in my 20’s, mum is in her 60’s.

I’ve asked her if she wants to go on a girls trip at the end of the year. 4 nights in a city in Europe (we’ve not chosen yet).

Would you do this? I don’t know if It seems a little odd to do or if it’s totally normal.

I bought a tiramisu from a supermarket yesterday. It was maybe 10 cm squared.

DH doesn’t usually buy desserts, he prefers to make them fresh. So I buy for myself and offer him some and sometimes he says yes. I think of them as mine though I’m usually happy to share. We don’t have a dessert every night.

I ate about 20% of it yesterday - it was delicious but it’s pretty rich and few spoonfuls are enough. I cut another 20% today after dinner for myself. I reminded DH we had tiramisu if he wanted some.

Baby was crying so I rushed through the tiramisu and went to settle them. I came back to find the rest of the tiramisu had gone! DH said I had eaten “half” (!) (Tbf he probably didn’t know I had some yesterday) so he had the other “half”. I’d been thinking I was going to save some for tomorrow. I’ve just looked at the box and it says it is 4 portions.

Is it fair to think of the desserts as mine? (DH is very generous with his baking but he’d definitely comment if I scoffed down most of his biscuits or whatever.)

Was it fair for DH to eat the rest of what I thought was my dessert?

Would it have been fair for me to have three portions (one yesterday, one today, one tomorrow) while DH has just one?

Semi-lighthearted. I’ll provide a bit more context later.

I’m not talking about abuse, toxic dynamics, safety issues or situations where the friendship had clearly broken down.

I mean situations where the friend had done nothing obviously wrong, you liked them, valued the friendship, things seemed broadly fine… yet you still abruptly stopped replying, drifted away completely or effectively ghosted them.

I find it such a strange and painful thing to experience and I know quite a few people it’s happened to.

After enough time passes, I imagine reaching back out probably starts to feel awkward or loaded, which maybe makes the silence continue even longer.

But if you’ve done this, why? What was going on for you at the time? How do you feel about it now? Do you ever think about reconnecting or apologising?

I’m genuinely trying to understand rather than attacking anyone.

Not stylish AT ALL but I have finally found a housecoat after months of searching. I have a white cat with longish fur and a black cat so everything I wear in the house is instantly a cat fur magnet and I have spent a fortune on sticky rollers and invariably go out looking like a furry mess....lovely.
I had given up hope of ever finding one. I remember my grandmother wearing one round the house. She was incredibly stylish and well dressed and would never have exposed her nice clothes to children, animals or housework but would take it off if she was going out or expecting visitors.
I think they are due for a comeback 😀

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09RPX62RS/ref=syn_sd_offsite_mobileweb_50?ie=UTF8&psc=1&aref=z12Im60v0s&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zZF9vZmZzaXRlX21vYmlsZXdlYg&tag=dradisplay0bb-21&th=1

i have very long cycles 40-45 days. No health conditions. Always have awful PMS and have had swollen boobs frequent urination cramps no period.

Did two clearblue tests. First one I can definitely see a pink line and it wasn’t evap it was after 2 minutes. Then bought two digital ones and both said not pregnant.

Which should I believe?

I recently worked out my pension (combo of state, private and work) is worth £57,000 a year. This might not sound like a lot but I currently earn £45,000 a year. It struck me as strange that my pension is more than my current salary. I started my private pension in my early 20s and am now mid 40s so have been contributing a long time.

Everyday currently feels like a slog and the money doesn’t go far. I am working hard on trying to increase my income but not making much progress.

I am still 20 years off retirement so there is still hope for progression but at the moment it seems so strange that I have to wait for retirement to be better off.

Am I doing it all wrong and putting too much money in my pension pots? Or am I deluded and this is actually a measly pension?

Hi,

Can anyone recommend a non uv nail polish that’s long lasting for a 2 week holiday, preferably tried and tested. I tried Essie gel couture on a recent holiday and it didn’t last well at all.

My best friend (54M) is getting married next year. to his fiancée (35F) been together years and have a young child together.
She is moving into his home permanently and giving up her own place in the process. He has more savings and assets than she does, & she has zero. which is why he originally wanted a prenup as he had been stung in the past in relationships.
From what I understand, she was very hurt by the idea and basically said she wouldn’t feel able to go through with the marriage if there was a prenup involved. she has said that marriage should mean full commitment and security, especially when she’s giving up independence and financial stability to build a life together.

He ended up deciding he would rather marry her without a prenup than lose the relationship.
i personally think he’s being naive and worry that refusing any prenup is a red flag.

Unfortunately, for a teacher,I look much younger than my age of 24. I am short and have long naturally light blonde hair. People say I look like a teenager. I have grown relationships with the kids in my current school whete i have been for 3 years, so i can manage them well.
I am moving to a new area in September and have got several interviews coming up for upper ks2 teacher. I want to look, sound and generally portray a more commanding teacher presence, because i dont tbink mt first impressions work with me in that respect.
I am fine in my own school because i have developed good relationships with the kids. I am aware though, based on first impressions, SLT of any schools i interview at may think I look too young and lack authority especially if i am nervous on the day.
I have booked a lesson with a coach to work on body language and tone.
How can i style myself to look more mature, authorative and professional, yet still warm and approachable. I am pear shaped and 5 foot 2.My work wardrobe needs to 'grow up' a bit, i think!
Any suggestions?
**I have probably made loads of typos and errors because i have iritis and cant see clearly!

My husband has been acting strange/secretive with his phone for a couple of weeks now so I took it on myself to look at his phone. Yes I know it’s morally dodgy but we have each others log ins and I looked at it whilst he was feeding DS dinner (it was charging upstairs).

There is a woman who is obviously a co-worker. I only had time to look at messages from the past two days. He was in the office today. He messaged her to say please walk past my desk again so I can look at your arse. She said she’d be back up in an hour and she will walk slowly this time. He then messaged again (after about an hour) to say that was the highlight of his afternoon to which she replied she knew her trousers would get attention today and sent a peach symbol. That was the last message.

I confronted him straight away and he stormed off and hasn’t come home yet. Said how dare I look at his phone. I have tried to call him and he just declined the call. He sent a text to say I’ve betrayed his trust and he can’t believe I did that instead of speaking to him.

Am I wrong to have done this, I think that if you know something is up then it’s within your right to investigate?

NC for this.

I was out for dinner with BF, his DC and some friends for BF’s birthday.

He has full custody of his DC.

His xGF, mother of the DC, turned up at the restaurant and started screaming in my face accusing me of hitting the eldest DC and then started asking the DC if I had been drinking something alcoholic. I had one beer with my meal.

Just shocked by it all - she refused the take the children at the weekend when it was her EOW and just turned up with her other DC from another father.

I just don’t know how I should have reacted. I should have walked away and tried to ignore her. But I tried to defend myself. I did ignore at first and even turned my back on her but she came up to my face and pointed her finger in my face.

She can see eldest child’s location on Google Family. I find this a major intrusion in our lives. And must ensure that if the DC are at my house the eldest one doesn’t have their phone.

We've had a new mattress, so decided to clear everything off our ottoman. Our bed & Ottoman very rarely looks this tidy. Does this look dated?

A bit of a whinge really and wondering if it is the same for other people. I find sandals so bloody hard to find.

Criteria
Leather
Comfortable
Look stylish - not orthopaedic or for the very elderly
Absolutely no velcro
Can't have a solid strap across the toes, as I have skinny feet and they are always too wide
Ankle or heel strap needed
No wedge heels
No high heels
Not completely flat either
No toe posts
No studs, sequins or anything sparkly

Realise that is a lot of criteria, but it must be possible!

Just as it says in the title really.
Everything seemed fine until around 7 weeks ago. Then out of nowhere my husband accused me of being controlling, saying that over the course of our relationship, I had stopped him doing things he enjoyed and that I had said some hurtful things during arguments, which we were said in the heat of the
moment.
I held my hands up to saying hurtful things and said it came from a place where I felt as though there has been no consideration for me and as though my feelings aren’t worth anything. He often stays in bed on a morning while I sort out our kids who are all still young and I have said I have expectations that he helps out on a morning too. As for the controlling him, I have said to him over the years that sometimes it’d be nice if he would miss football for the odd weekend so we could do things as a family or have expressed my dislike at him coming in from a night out at 5am when we have children and other responsibilities.
He has mentioned occasions from 10+ years ago where I’ve asked him to forego football to spend the day with me after we’d been at work all week and I honestly don’t know how he can even remember specifics from that far back.
We both work full time and I work nights predominantly due to childcare.
Around 6 weeks ago he said he had hit his limit and wasn’t sure if he wanted to continue with our relationship. This threw me into a very dark place and I said I would take a step back in terms of losing my temper when I feel like I’m not being heard, which I’ve done, although he said this isn’t enough. I’m now on antidepressants, signed off sick from work and have a therapy appointment booked.
He has said he is done and is now looking for somewhere else to live but refuses to leave our home (rented not bought) until he has found somewhere. He has turned so cold towards me and acts like he hates me. I go from feeling devastated to angry and at this point feel as though I’m stuck in some awful limbo.
I’ve been in touch with a solicitor but was just hoping others who have been in the same boat could give me words of wisdom that things will feel less dark in time?
Thank you