Evening all! Next thread ready...

Date a week ago came inside me without asking. Is this just normal since we weren’t using protection so ‘anything goes’ type thing.

Before anyone has a go at me, it’s my first time doing this (unprotected sex with someone new). Date went well, we booked a last minute hotel after it and he did actually say ‘by the way, I don’t have any condoms’. I shrugged and then he completely dropped the subject of contraception. Didn’t ask me if I was on the pill etc

Had great sex and he finished twice over the evening/morning. Both times inside me.

The first time he didn’t actually say he was about to. The second time it looked like he was about to and I said ‘tell me when you are’ and he told me as he was doing it. Too much info but the second time around was asked from a sensual erm point of view. Not so I could get off him in time

Given that any unprotected sex can cause STI, and pregnancy, why if so would he need to ask or tell me he’s going to finish inside me?

Or is it just a case of you already agreed to the no condom thing?

Really like him. He’s on holiday for two weeks now but seeing each other when back etc

So feel a bit confused as I’ve read something on another thread on a different website that spoke about something similar and views seem to be it’s not okay

My ex and I have been separated since June 2024. He suggested every other weekend as his contact. Before he left, he worked away sunday evening to Friday morning. I have been the primary caregiver and secure attachment to my 3 year old since birth. Since leaving, he has been incredibly inconsistent. Cancelling multiple times for personal holidays, family visits, work. 5 months after leaving he tells me he has met someone, is moving 50 minutes away from my child (as he doesnt know anyone) and conveniently means hes closer to the new gf. Stating he wants to see child more when his life is more settled in January. This coincides with his move and him stating when he woukd introduce my child. He moved in with this woman and did not tell me. I found out after sending divorce paperwork to the old address. He stated he didnt live there anymore and was moving to a new town 30 minutes away from primary home next week. Had to bave contavt in a temporary housing for the weekend. The whole relationship lasted 11 months. He stated he ended it as child's behaviour not good for our child. 3 months kater, a new woman and child was introriced to my daughter. He did not tell me this was happening. Now less than a year after meeting he has moved in with her. Again, I was not informed. Only told me the address when I asked. In July, he reduced his contact time iver 2 weekend blocks to go away. He saw child for 22 hours within a 6 week period. Told me this was happening. Did not ask. I quietly absorb. 2 weeks later he says he wants more time, I say no as he is not consistent with time he does bave. He tells me he will be seeking a fornal route. I say thats fine. 2 weeks later attended 1st day of pre school but has to ask me what time it starts the nigjt before. 1st day if pre school I am sent a formal letter asking for a significant amount of more time and it says we will go to mediation and court if no agreement can be made. He has moved roughly 6 or 7 times in 27 months. Rushed child into 2 co habitation and different family dynamics in that time. Has cancelled at keast 16 times. Additional mid week comtavt was trialled. I had to stop them because he cancelled so often. I offered 2 additional hours to his weekend at the same time. I have facilitated hokidays, additional time and changed consistently. Proactively tried to arrange meaningful x mas time, birthday time and father's day. He declined additional x mas time. I have had multiple court threats when I set a boundary. I get accusatory messages right before asking for more time and litigation threats. Constantly lectures me about how we need to come parent better. Asked if my 2 year old coukd go ton hokiday gf he has known 4 months that I had never met. I said no. He went anyway and missed contavt time. Blamed me, said I was restrictive and threatened court. I facilitated a hokiday in UK with new gf. Tried to compromise him doing it over his weekend but extend it to keep routine. Said no those are the dates. I had to tell him by the end of the day. This hokiday did not happen as he broke uo with gf. Instead took child to see family in UK. Asked fkr child's passport as were flying down. I gave it to him no problem. He has not asked for a single hokiday block this year before proposing a significant increase in time. I bave asked a solicitor to review evidence, sent my proposal and have asked for a consent order. I bave proposed every ither weekend. Father's day birthday and Christmas Day evening to boxing day contavt and 7 consecutive hokiday block. Bank hokidays if it falls on his weekend. Please let me know your thoughts if this were to go to court, how would cafcass and a judge view this. Is my proposal likely to be agreed with?

Just wanted to give anyone who is interested a heads up about a place to avoid for a Christmas Day out. Last year we went to the Four Kingdoms and I honestly could have wept. It was awful. Think Nessa’s (Gavin and Stacey) Christmas grotto and you’re not far off. The place is filthy. I spent a considerable amount of time filling out profiles for each of us, with information to be used for said visit. Hardly any of it was used. IT COST A FORTUNE. I’m talking over £400 for 3 kids and 2 adults. I thought maybe a post about places to avoid would be helpful. This year we are doing the polar express at Churnet, if that’s crap I’m quitting Christmas for good. 🎅🏽

As the title says, I hope I am not alone in living in dread of Christmas. This rising sense of panic starts about now and ends when I load them all on the train back to London on the 27th.
I have adult children, all in their 40s. They are well off (more than I could have ever dreamed of) and have very busy jobs.
Because the DH and I are retired, it's " Oh, good news. We are coming to you this Christmas".
Now, while most parents would be overjoyed, I struggle...the reason: VEGANS.

Not just your easygoing (is there such a thing) vegan, but no onions. Garlic, chives, nightshades (whatever the hell that is), no alcohol (including in the pudding), no nuts, no flour, no dairy.
I know you will think... well, make them bring their own food, but two travel by train from London and so can't really drag everything with them.
Last Christmas I really tried; I cooked beforehand, got the local bakery to make special mince pies, the local vegan cafe did some great salads and soup.

My son sniffed at the food and said, "I can smell garlic." - I felt my heart sink as I scraped £80 worth of salads into the bin.

I realise, as friends and my DH have said, ask them what they want to eat, buy it and tell them to cook it. But it's more than that - my husband is an absolute darling of a man and loves cooking and a traditional Christmas, but he is older now and a bit precious around his kitchen. So now the kitchen will be reduced to my daughter-in-law (who I love more than my next 3 minutes of oxygen) peeling endless potatoes and getting underfoot.

My biggest problem is that I am trying so hard to make Christmas joyous, and this requires me to keep the peace all the time. My daughter-in-law is incredibly brilliant but autistic, so she has no filter and just argues with everything she does not agree with. We do not share the same political ideas but hell's teeth she will not shut up. So certain subjects such as politics, religion, food and certain jokes are off the table. My son is incredibly docile and lets her have her way. Last year my DH said that he has never felt so insulted in his own home in his life....with the picking at the food and my son spending most of the lunchtime meal on the phone to his father back home.

Thank goodness my daughter, also a vegan but much easier to please, is coming - she helps me drink a lot more than I should, so things go a bit easier. My son-in-law is a carnivore like us and super easy to please.

I know what I have to do but I'm really on here to say.....anyone feel the same or am I making a massive pain in the arse for myself.

I have this dress for an event at a local hotel but I am not sure what shoes to wear with it. Any ideas?

www.warehousefashion.com/product/warehouse-printed-shoulder-pad-v-neck-tie-detail-midi-dress_bww09335?colour=brown&size=10&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=24255972922&gbraid=0AAAAACGfhaMwVtyOnGkQNRBpqIpL81Sjz&gclid=Cj0KCQjwt9jVBhDXARIsAFSP-6c4N5NerQkm6_qjrFN2-NkuVQztWzTliobALc0lk9jDKdfpeZDiN3YaApnWEALw_wcB

Hey! Im off on holiday in a few weeks to Europe with nearly 3 year old twin boys and a 6 year old.
Can anyone help with a packing list, mainly looking for ideas to get through the flight and travel but any holiday essentials too please

DH and I (British passport) have recently moved to the UK. Every year or two, I come down with a bout of Bronchitis which requires a dose of antibiotics to deal with the infection. In Canada, I'd go to my doctor, be given a Rx, and Bob's your uncle. I came down with a heavy cold 2 weeks ago and by last week was coughing up green (sorry, tmi). So I dutifully trotted off to my GP's surgery and asked about making an appointment. I was told to go on the surgery's website and do it that way.
Well, apparantly if you're not actually dead, it's not possible to be seen by a doctor (and yes, I did try the pharmacy first just in case that was the route to go). Obviously, I won't be going to a&e so is there such a thing as a drop in clinic? How should I have handled this?

Thought it would be fun to wait together and see how many get lucky! Me, DH & BIL in the ‘draw’ here.

We went to Wembley last time which was incredible but we are in the NW so ideally looking for the Etihad but have Knebworth & Glasgow as options.

Good luck to everybody waiting!

Did anyone’s child do the Cambridge chemistry challenge this year and remember any of the questions?
thanks

Normally have Tesco delivery because convenience...
Had a look around the newish Aldi today and I'm going to give it a go for next week's shopping.
Are there any 'this is excellent' or 'avoid this' things that you want to tell me about?
Shopping for 2x secondary kids (who have lunchboxes). 1x vegetarian. 1x wheat free if that info is useful.
Work on the assumption that I mostly cook stuff, e.g. make the chicken pie filling, but buy the pastry kind of idea (if that makes sense).

Thanks!!!

Leaving partners and children themselves out of it 😄 — what’s one thing that repeatedly wastes your time, costs you money or drives you mad?

Something you dealt with this week would be ideal. What would you want a product, app or device to actually do for you?

Have you bought anything to solve it already? What was still missing?

I’m exploring potential product ideas, so this is market research. There’s nothing being sold here.

A few weeks ago I caught up with my friend ‘Ruth’ we’ve known each other for more than 30 years. We were talking about books and she said I’ll never lend you a book again as years ago you borrowed a book from me and you never gave it back (as in more than 10 years ago). She said she couldn’t remember the name of the book but it still annoyed her and she’s never forgotten about it. Obviously as she couldn’t remember the name of the book I had no recollection of this but it could well have been possible so I said if it is true then I’m sorry. She just said well it’s definitely true.

So today she messages me and says she’s remembers the name of the book and if I have it can I give it back. It doesn’t look remotely familiar or like the kind of book I’d want to read. I replied and said sorry it doesn’t look at all familiar and I’ve definitely never read it. She’s just replied and said well you definitely took it but oh well. I’ve not relied because what is there to say to that?

I know it’s not a major in the scheme of things and as my name says it’s a petty argument but

Am I not being unreasonable to think it’s just a bit weird and overly intense for a book potentially borrowed years and years ago?

or

I am being unreasonable and it’s understandable she’s annoyed and I should maybe apologise properly or even offer to replace the book. I mean as I said to her initially it’s not outside of the realms of possibility that I borrowed a book and didn’t give it back.

What support do people give to their kids and grabd kids in their retirement? Money? Childcare support? Fees?

We are trying to plan for this. It will be important for us to be around to help with childcare if our health allows regularly (we dont have that, I think its crucial for relationship development in families). But other than that, we dont know what is reasonable to expect to give in our retirement.

Hello mumsnetters, I need some views please as I don’t know if I’m being completely unreasonable here.

I don’t have children of my own (hope to in the future though) but I am in a relationship with a man who has 3 kids (ages 7, 9, 12) and they are with him around 50% of the time. After around 12 months together we felt it was right for me to meet them and start to get to know him and we’ve just started that process over the past few months.

I’ve now met them about a half a dozen or so times, and most of those times have involved eating together, a couple of times at home and a few times out somewhere. This is where the problem has started for me. The kids have no table manners whatsoever, it doesn’t make any difference where we are, and their dad doesn’t seem to notice or care. They don’t use cutlery at all, don’t sit at the table (getting up and chasing each other around in restaurants/cafes), play with their food with their hands, talk with food in their mouths etc. Last time we ate together was at my boyfriends home, I cooked a spaghetti bolognaise for us, and all three of them were running around the house screaming, grabbing a handful of spaghetti as they passed the table and eating it with their hands whilst playing.

On one occasion in a pizza restaurant I could see their behaviour was really upsetting other diners as they were getting up constantly from the table, throwing bits of their pizza toppings at each other and making a large amount of noise. At one point one of them was even standing up on their chair.

It had never occurred to me that I would have an issue with this, but I really do. I cannot stand it. And I cannot stand it that their dad just sits there and seems to not even notice or care.

What can I do here, given these are not my children and I don’t have any real ability to influence this? Could it be that they don’t do this the rest of the time and it’s a reaction to me being there? Am I just being horribly old fashioned and children just don’t learn this stuff these days? Do I have to say to him that I can’t ever eat a meal with his children? I’m even considering ending the relationship over it.

We have talked about potentially having our own children together in the future, and there is zero in hells chance that I would want to allow my own future children to behave this way around food. Am I the one with the problem here?

Please help!

Day off today and I’m doing a big clean/declutter of the house… and apparently I’ve decided to prepare for the apocalypse 😂

I’m a hope for the best but plan for the worst type of person, so while I’m sorting the house I thought I’d also get my emergency supplies organised.

So far I’ve got:

12L water
5 tins of soup
2 tins of tuna
16 toilet rolls
1 hand soap
1 shampoo
1 conditioner
1 tin of rice pudding 😂

What am I missing from my list?

I’m going to have a good search around the house first to see what I already have, then buy anything I’m missing.

I’m thinking food, water, toiletries, household stuff etc. Basically things that would be useful if we had a few days without being able to get to the shops.

What would you make sure you had? And what things have you got tucked away that you’d never normally think of? 😆

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst!

I have recently become a grandmother, first grandchild. There is a step grandchild who is treated as my own also.

My dilemma is I just do not want is too much.

The baby is 10 weeks and I have seen him 4 times.

My son tells me to call up whenever, I am nanny I don’t need an invite. My son is working so it is just my DIL, with GC during day, whom I love

I am staying away as I have read enough threads about MIL invading DIL space if I call up.

AIBU to not visit as my DS is not there even though it means very limited seeing my GC?

There is no background history except the fact that DS was raised in council housing which she looks down on and is genuinely embarrassed by.

what do I do? Kept staying away.

I have a lovely housekeeper who comes every other day (not weekends). Yes, I know this might seem like a lot to some, but I don’t like cleaning. It is the last thing I want to do when I finish work. I like everything to be done so I can just get on with making dinner and spending time with my family.
Yet, every time my sister calls (we live in different parts of the country), she seems more interested in what my housekeeper has done today rather than me and her nephews. I just do not understand why she is so invested in it.
Would I be rude to ask her to stop asking about what the housekeeper has done? I just want to catch up with my sister, not talk about chores.

Housekeeping : If the thread goes down like last week it’s not anything to do with me, complaints to Site Stuff

100 posts left on previous thread but majority agreed to a weekly thread so here we are, please board the glitterbus

I’ve put NO SPOILERS but I don’t think we have an elimination this week. In any case the Spoiler Thread is here :

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5578073-strictly-2026-spoiler-thread-for-results-and-couplings?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Cheers

KEEP DANCING

I saw the most awkward situation at work today and have to share it because I keep thinking about it.

I work in a small team and we had a new person start today who unfortunately seems to have foot in mouth syndrome.

She's already accidentally insulted the business owner by making a bad joke about his car. (He's a farmer and drives a mildly battered pick up)

She then made a thoughtless remark because I put a spoonful of sugar in my coffee. Fat people shouldn't have sugar, apparently.

The thing that's making me cringe is a conversation I only got the last bit off but it was awful.

The business owner's wife also work for the business. New hire said "sorry, I have CDO. It's OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be."

That's cringe enough but it was incredibly awkward and horrible because the couple who own the business have a teenager daughter who has been suffering very badly from (diagnosed) OCD and is currently in hospital because of it.

Would it be weird if I took a few treats in tomorrow? They're both lovely people and the family has been through so much I'd like to do something to show them we care!

Husband and I have had very rocky few years. We have sorted everything out. (Both in the wrong at various different points)

we are moving next month and this week was stressful with solicitors and chasing ect…I recently gave up smoking and I’m so proud of myself but I feel like I could easily go and buy a box 😩

lovely evening chilling on the sofa and he gets a call from the app X (twitter) some random foreign name. Automatically told me what he used this app for and said what the hell why is someone calling me. (I looked it up and it’s common) I just got so pissed off because it brought back a lot of trauma. I made him sleep downstairs because I just knew I wouldn’t be able to relax with him next to me. I didn’t really want to talk about it and hear him out as he tried to blame me for getting annoyed about it and i shut it down. I don’t really know what the point of this post is but am I being unreasonable for wanting to be by myself and having space?

All my plans at getting organised in the last thread left me as I realised the thread with referrals was already up and running, so the one I set up I'll link to once the current one runs out!

Welcome one and all to this safe, warm and fuzzy place for people to share discounts, bargains and Christmas gift ideas both online and IRL. Please note the tone and intention of the thread and join with spirit as generous as DC helping themselves to the Christmas chocolate celebrations .

Here’s some useful information about how to save the thread or a specific post so you don’t need to have a message to check in for every thread so you have the thread saved:

To watch the thread - click on the little bell that has ‘watch’ under my first message. This adds the whole thread to your ‘watched threads’

You can also bookmark a specific post by clicking on the ‘bookmark’ under the specific post. This saves your exact place in a thread but doesn’t alert you to new replies.

If you have any referral links or codes, please share them on the referral thread here

A reminder that we don't use affiliated links on here please

If there’s anything you think would be useful or good to include in this post then please do tag me and let me know here (or DM me). Also always happy to hear nominations for a thread title.

So long story short, I have found myself organising an afternoon tea meets eighties children’s party in a work context, as a bit of a light-hearted team event.

Hoping to please mine some ideas from you nest of vipers... :)

We’re thinking retro party food, party bags, games, etc. Things like Party Rings, Hula Hoops, Monster Munch, Fondant Fancies, etc. as well as "proper" food like sandwiches too.

Any thoughts on any food/snacks would give proper 80s kids’ party vibes? Or what might put in an adult's party bag (obvs work appropriate). Any games or activities that could work for a work crowd? We’re not talking musical chairs or pass the parcel - more tongue-in-cheek quizzes, challenges, maybe something we could do on Kahoot, or anything that gets people involved without being too cringe. Any other little decorations, touches or ridiculous 80s details that would really make it?

Thanks in advance for anyone's ideas!

my Art is being displayed for the first time in a gallery which is 2.5hrs drive away. My husband says it’s too far to go and it’s not his thing anyway. AIBU to be upset by his lack of support? If it was the other way round I’d be excited to go and see it. He says it’s my hobby not his.

Taken from a book I found today in a charity shop. So much to say that its hard to know where to start!

The Radio Doctor's Dictionary of Health by Charles Hill, published in 1952.

There may or many not be seven stages of man. There are certainly three phases in the life of a woman. The first is the phase of childhood which passes with the physical and mental changes occurring at puberty into the second or middle phase of womanhood.
The third phase begins, usually between the ages of forty and forty-five, with the so-called menopause or change of life. Puberty, which may begin at the age of twelve or thirteen, come on with amazing quickness. The menopause on the other hand, develops slowly and deliberately. It marks the end of menstruation which first becomes irregular and later disappears. The change of life completed, there can no longer be childbearing.
The menopause is marked by both mental and physical changes. The warmth of physical feelings gives way to the calmness of serene affection, and quite often to a wider interest in the affairs of the world. The change may take one or two years, varying in length in different people. The reproductive organs, no longer functioning, become smaller. There may be symptoms which for a while unpleasant. For example, there may be sweating and giddiness, heats or flushes. These sensations may come on without warning. For most women, this is all that happens. Occasionally, however, there may be trying headaches and uneasy sensations, particularly in the breasts. At this time some women begin to put on weight. Much more rarely there are nervous troubles, particularly amongst those whose days are too leisured.
What can be done? For the most part, nothing need be done. It is best, though this is not always easy, to ignore what is happening and to carry on a normal life. The sympathy of others is no good. Giving in is a mistake. The less notice is taken of the change of life, the more quickly it seems to pass.
It helps to cut down diet, although nowadays our rations do that for us. Alcohol affords no relief. Indeed, it may make matters worse rather than better. The change of life, it must be remembered, is a normal, natural thing. It is not an illness or the beginning of an illness. It's a milestone, not a millstone.
The change may bring with it a release of energy, a need for activity in many new directions. Occasionally it makes a woman appear a little too managing, because she is filled with a desire to reform the lives of other. But most women suffer little or nothing. Eighty-five out of every hundred women pass through the menopause without being troubled by it. This is the occasion for an important warning. If the periods, having stopped, should appear to start again, a doctor should always be consulted,. There may be something wrong.

The third phase of life is sometimes the richest phase, the one in which to find tranquillity, and a full peaceful happiness.