What support do grandparents give to their kids and grand kids, especially in retirement?

[Yammer94]

What support do people give to their kids and grabd kids in their retirement? Money? Childcare support? Fees?

We are trying to plan for this. It will be important for us to be around to help with childcare if our health allows regularly (we dont have that, I think its crucial for relationship development in families). But other than that, we dont know what is reasonable to expect to give in our retirement.

Surely that will depend on the circumstances in which someone is when they retire. Relocating to the other side of the country (or even to another country) may be a good decision and enable you to offer childcare and perhaps have familial support for yourselves in older age. But it may not be feasible or recommended for other retirees. Giving money also depends on how much you have. If you are going to have an estate that's liable for inheritance tax, then, it's a good decision. If you're worried about how your own social care will be paid for, then it's not. It's also dependent on how many DC and DGC anyone has and where they are all located.

My parents helped me with childcare one day a week when they were retired (in their late 60s / 70s) and I had small children. Now they're in their 80s and my children are teenagers, they're more likely to help out financially- they give me a monetary gift (within the annual allowance) to reduce future inheritance tax and to help me and DH to support our DC at uni. Basically it depends on what they're able to give and what I'm most in need of at a particular time. My parents are lovely btw and I really appreciate all their support.

I would help with any childcare health allowing but I probably wouldn't have any extra money to help them as pension will be low but would if I could.

@Yammer94

Surely that depends on the resources available to you, what you want to give and physically able to do.

I've had zero financial support from my parents - they don't have it to give.
I did have plans to give my own son a contribution to a house deposit but I was diagnosed with cancer this year and lost my job. Fortunately for him I'll probably die before my home needs to be sold for care fees for me so at least he will have that.

My parents were not able to provide child care because they lived too far away. They did visit in May half term and would baby sit for me. They did have him in Feb half term and a few days in the summer but I had to take him and pick him up

Thanks, im interested in other people's experience of what they actually mamage to provide and why. Other than my sentimental dream of hanging out with grandkids I have no real understanding of what is the range of norms. Without kids and grandkids we could much more easily afford to retire soon.

FWIW my parents provided me no financial support other than roof over my head and then I left home at 18. My parents are completely reliant on SP and have poor health. Despite living an hour away they dont help with childcare. They somehow still find time to drive past us to go visit random other family though 🙄

In laws have lots of money, but chose to live far away, cant cope with kid(s) other than for an hour or two. So we only see them for a couple of weekends a year as we have had to limit their usual one or two week visits as it was too taxing for us to host them as well as look after 3 young kids. They gave us £3k for our wedding which i was grateful for and about 10 years ago helped us paint our house when we moved. Theyre too old for that now in their 70s but grateful we had that at the time.

Both sets of parents get frustrated theyre not closer to our kids, but I think thats not really on us.

Consequently I want to plan and do better for our kids. I just want ideas of what other people do typically to organise our finances/plan for retirement around it rather than for cruises (not for us, not judging others).

@TruffleSlinky I feel v jealous when I hear of grandparents supporting with care, though im probably over sentimental about it!

I don't do any set days of childcare because I have a life-limiting condition, which can involve several appointments per week and I frequently wouldn't be capable.
I take DGD for a day out or pay for a family meal most weeks. We've recently been to soft play, a play farm and Sealife.
I enjoy buying things for DGD. In the last few months I bought her a highchair, a new carseat (I bought the original one too), a lightweight stroller and a wooden swing and slide set for the garden.
I'm fortunate I can 'spoil' DGD with quite a lot of clothes (I've just bought her some Uggs), but I always run everything be DIL first and get her to choose larger items.
I also buy all their nappies, wipes, baby toiletries for DGD at Costco.
I wish I could physically be more hands on, but I figure what I spend on DGD helps to offset the two days per week she spends with her lovely childminder.