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Original poster

Did you consider motherhood when chosing your career?

66 replies

shoedweller · 30/09/2008 10:39

I always had it at the back of my mind. I always planned to work part-time when I had kids too. I wonder how many of us "sold ourselves short" career wise at a young age.

OP posts:
compo · 30/09/2008 10:41

no not at all
you think about careers in your late teens, early 20s
I thought about kids in my late 20s early 30s

Anna8888 · 30/09/2008 10:41

Do you really think it is better to have a career that is so high-powered that it is totally incompatible with any kind of family life? Which means that you then have to go through a complex process of downshifting?

ForeverOptimistic · 30/09/2008 10:42

No I didn't give it a second thought. I didn't want children until I was in my 30's which seemed a long way off. When I left school I suppose I assumed that I would work full time and my children would go to some fab nursery, you really have no idea about the realities of bringing up a family at that age.

mazzystar · 30/09/2008 10:45

nope
didn't think for one moment and am glad because i did what i loved and had a wonderful time [visual arts curator]
it is totally incompatible with looking after small children, however, just freelance occasionally these days

Othersideofthechannel · 30/09/2008 10:49

No.

But in my experience it is not just children than affect your 'career'. If your partners career involves moving about, following them may not be compatbile with your chosen career.

LadyMuck · 30/09/2008 10:50

No. But the the world was my oyster and I was prepared to change careers at several points so that I could do everything that I wanted to.

Romy7 · 30/09/2008 10:51

yes. like i said on the other thread, when i joined the RAF as a chick you couldn't sign a contract without also signing the form which gave them the right to terminate your contract if you got married or had kids.
ah. if only i'd got pregnant, had an abortion, and then sued them years later like everyone else.
abiding by the rules can be a real pisser.

Anna8888 · 30/09/2008 10:52

Very true OSOTC.

cyteen · 30/09/2008 10:52
FioFio · 30/09/2008 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

deanychip · 30/09/2008 10:54

Good lord NO!
I never ever wanted kids.
I chose my career, trained hard and it never even crossed my mind.
Then i hit 30 and began to think seriously, got married and had ds.
Ive defo NOT downshifted, i have moved sideways then up LOL!
All in a part time manner.
Worked out bloody marvelous actually

PrimulaVeris · 30/09/2008 10:56

No - never wanted to "settle down" (now married for 20 yrs)

Never wanted children (until got preg as result of rather good hoiday)

Even when had child, never thought it would/should impact on work. Dream on.

fircone · 30/09/2008 10:59

I wish I had thought of this.

I flitted around various 'trendy' jobs, travelled, and then had the dcs. Some of my friends settled down in public sector jobs and bought houses in their early 20s. They are now reaping the benefit of this prudence big time, as they have been able to maintain careers whilst having children. And live in mortgage-free (London) houses.

I am now always going to be a sahm, have no pension... but I think I have a more colourful past!

Bramshott · 30/09/2008 10:59

Not initially, no (orchestra management - family friendly? ), but there was a point in my late-ish 20s when I knew I might want to have kids soon and I chose to gain experience in areas (like education project work) where it was more likely to be compatible with family life than areas where it wasn't (stage management, tour management etc). I still miss my old life/career with an almost visceral pang though.

CatIsSleepy · 30/09/2008 11:03

i didn't consider motherhood-I wanted to do medical research so that's what I did
think i always realised i wouldn't be very high-powered though!
am not terribly ambitious-just want to enjoy my work and earn ok money
so far it has combined ok with motherhood

things will inevitably become more complicated once I have children at school

am not on a great career path though (predictably LOL) so who knows how things will turn out...

AMumInScotland · 30/09/2008 11:15

No, I studied what I was interested in, and took a job which would make the bank manager happy (ie reverse the flow of funds back towards him!). I wasn't thinking about marriage or children at that stage in my life. Since getting married, I've studied again, then had DS, then took a job that fitted in with his needs at the time. It's only since he got older that I've been able to get back into a field I find interesting, and have anything which might count as a "career".

MrsMattie · 30/09/2008 11:24

I knew I wanted kids, but I didn't give it a moment's thought when I was thinking about careers. I wanted to be a music journalist, hob knob with famous artists and lead a glamourous life - and so I did in my 20s.

I'm 31 and about top have my 2nd child now, though, so thinking about something more child friendly, obviously.

I didn't have a clue how seriously having kids would affect my career. I couldn't have, really.

artichokes · 30/09/2008 11:26

No. I knew I wanted kids but it did not affect my career choice. As it happens my career is pretty family friendly but that is through luck rather than planning.

cmotdibbler · 30/09/2008 11:32

When I chose my career I can honestly say that the thought of children in my life had never even occured, so couldn't affect the career choice.

I didn't even seriously think about whether I wanted children till I was 30 though

MrsBadger · 30/09/2008 11:33

Nope

but then I chose my career (or at least my field) when I chose my A-levels
I was 15.
I knew nothing.

beanieb · 30/09/2008 11:36

I've never thought about a career. I have worked all my life in jobs I enjoy but I don't follow a career path. I have left it very late to have kids, not because I was following some career led dream but because first of all I just didn't want kids and then I wasn't with someone who wanted kids.

I would hate it if people viewed my life and thought I had made some kind of concious decision to put my work above my job. I have had to work to pay the bills and fortunately for me I have always loved what I do.

When I have kids (Am TTC with not much success) I will continue to work.

feeble · 30/09/2008 11:40

I chose to do the opposite
Have my children young then have a career afterwards so I don't have to take a career break.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 30/09/2008 11:46

I dropped out of uni at 19 and started work instead, I have done a variety of jobs which I have mostly enjoyed (especially my last job) and had worked up to a reasonable level of seniority in the 10 yrs before I had DS. I worked to earn money and because I believed what I was doing was worthwhile (mostly vol/charity sector).

In the next few years I'm happy for the balance to be more on family life, with a bit of part-time/freelance work.

I don't consider myself as 'selling myself short'. Paid work is only one part of life...

Fennel · 30/09/2008 11:48

No, I didn't consider children or money or any other practicalities.

And then when I had a double set of nursery fees I did wish I'd thought about financial factors a teeny bit in my career choices.

amidaiwish · 30/09/2008 11:56

i'm with Fennel here.
i was happy in my last company (big US multinational) and thought it was great i would work after having dcs - good maternity leave and enough flexibility to go part time (if you were happy to put any progression effectively on hold)

what i didn't bank on was needing expensive childcare to enable me to travel abroad, attend out of office meetings etc.

there are very few jobs where you can do regular office hours and no travel, yet earn enough to pay 2 sets of nursery fees. most of these jobs require a flexible live in nanny to cover you effectively but very few pay enough for this to be a realistic option (and i never wanted to go down the nanny route).

rambling!

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