Did you consider motherhood when chosing your career?

[shoedweller]

I always had it at the back of my mind. I always planned to work part-time when I had kids too. I wonder how many of us "sold ourselves short" career wise at a young age.

elliott - no, I never considered it. I never considered anything. I planned nothing, had no idea what I wanted to do and wouldn't have known how to get there even if I did. Since my mum's working life was a catalogue of missed opportunities and thwarted ambitions, just like everyone else in my family, it wouldn't have provided much inspiration even had she not killed herself when I was a teenager, thus ensuring that I was way too fucked up to plan ahead in any reasonable manner.

I've never had a job I gave two shits about, much less a career. Now I've got a kid and am blundering through parenthood in the same half-arsed way I blunder through everything else.

Nope, it wasn't a consideration at all.

However as I didn't meet my DH until I was 33 and didn't have DS until I was 35, I might have regretted choosing a career based on its family friendliness.

I do think that having a reasonably senior position once you have a child is a bit of a double edged sword. I got promoted through working long hours in my twenties and now its really galling to think that if I was a grade or so lower it would be a heck of a lot easier to get reduced hours agreed ( although I have a 4 day a week compromise).

TBH though I don't really know how you can factor having kids into the equation though as so much depends on your employer and your line manager rather than the career you have chosen.

No. I thought about my career while I was at University and in my early twenties. Having children came later.

Some careers are obviously far more compatible with family life than others, but it wasnt something I gave oodles of thought to tbh. I never saw it as something that was purely my domain, anyway. Once you have have children, hopefully you are wise enough to pick a partner who will see themself as an equal parent.

My priorities changed, naturally, once I had children, but the same is true of my dh. Neither of us ever saw family life as something incompatible with having our own lives and career though.

AND CAN I JUST ADD
i am feelign mighty smug now all the peopel who looked down their noses at teachign in their early 20s are retraining and finding ti really hard

< mishceivous snigger>

I do think it's probably wiser to choose your career without too much worrying about parenthood though, as 20% of women don't have children these days, and a higher percentage of higher educated women. At least if you choose a career you like you have that. And then you might or might not have children.

whereas I know a few women who chose a career which would be compatible with family and didn't actually have children, for a variety of reasons. That seems a shame. One of my friends decided not to be an architect because she thought the long training wouldn't be compatible with having children. But eventually she decided she didn't want children anyway. So she might as well have done the career she realy felt passionate about.

Yes.

Had a stretch of seriously considering being a doctor. I shadowed several doctors and asked for their opinions on things, including family. Two of the doctors told me to go into business because it makes more money and healthcare is mainly business anyway . Residency, they said, was brutal and not family-friendly. I decided it wasn't for me... wasn't so in love with the idea, I guess, but the family thing was the big point.

Don't regret it... though I think that many doctors are able to make it work very well for them. (And perhaps it's better here in the UK... I did my shadowing in the US.) I've got a good thing going now. Maternity leave's almost up, and I'm heading back next month, part time, and with a promotion! Yowza!

In my teens and 20s, I wanted to be a SAHM. Now 30, part-time work feels better... I wanna keep on the up'n'up. Interesting point that you make about selling short, though....

I must admit I never gave it a thought. I worked and thought I'd have kids one day, then I was getting a bit older (all of a sudden) and had older DH so thought maybe it just wouldn't happen. The we had a "romantic" holiday and bugger me up pops DD. (Not ideal as I was on a secondment in Ireland where 12 hour days were required and I commuted back to kent each weekend) But hey, you get on with it.

I would suggest, if you really want to plan ahead, work for a BIG company. They can cope with almost anything. People sick, people pregnant, mothers who need to leave in the middle of the day because the nursery has called.

absolutely not!

I never wanted kids, but somewhere along the line things changed.

now I have 2 children and am working p/t in a second career unrelated to my first

Sort of. I knew that I should reach as far as I could so that by the time I wanted DCs, I would have a career in place.

I also picked a career in an industry with lots of companies in and around the regional area, so that if one went bust there was always another... and another.. etc. ie I wouldn't have to move regions, which would upset any family life. All this was semi-conscious.

I have friends who dabbled half-heartedly in looking for a career, had the DCs mid 20's and only now are struggling to get any decent paid work due to lack of career before having kids.

The roles that lead to decent pay are often based out of the area, requires 2 years training elsewhere in the country, early starts/late finishes etc - in other words, the sort of roles that attract graduates with no ties - in their early-mid 20's.

My friends now want a well-paid meaningful career with lots of opportunities BUT that starts at 9.30, finishes at 2.30 and the option to do P/T, because of the kids. Quite obviously they are finding it impossible. It is more likely this is negotiated when you have proved your worth than found when you are starting out.

I am now pg with DC1 and am able to go back to work P/T building up to F/T if I want plus they are negotiable on start/finish times. This is the reward as such for spending all my 20's slogging. I don't feel smug at all, but I do feel that this is payback time career-wise and I am reaping what I sowed earlier.

I am working p/t at the moment in construction industry. At 17 when I started, I was so pessimistic I thought I'd never meet anyone to settle down with. I did wait to start a family until I'd passed my professional exams, so I had a "benchmark" qualification if I had to take a break.

Have thought on and off about teacher training (science or maths) but I do actually like my profession.

I am working p/t at the moment in construction industry. At 17 when I started, I was so pessimistic I thought I'd never meet anyone to settle down with. I did wait to start a family until I'd passed my professional exams, so I had a "benchmark" qualification if I had to take a break.

Have thought on and off about teacher training (science or maths) but I do actually like my profession.

no of course not
I was young and had no knowledge of such things

No I chose my career to fit in with my kids !

I had my dds and chose to become a cm, and I love it, motherhood and my career.

Before kids all I really wanted was to have kids, and be a writer.

I still write lots in my spare time of which I have very little. So I guess things could have been different had I pursued that side of things more, but there is always another day !

Wouldn't change a thing.

No, I was a Feminist you see and actually thought that if I had a family I would put my career before my children! As if!

Luckily my job is family-friendly as jobs go, easy to do part-time or locum if you want. The only downside is being expected to work fecking Saturdays when most other people are off! In fairness that has worked out OK-ish for us in that dh has the boys to himself on Saturdays meaning that we need less childcare during the week but it means we don't get proper weekends, except once a month.

My mum is I am planning on going back to work after having DC1. Having seen the struggles of my friends without a career, also given the current market climate, I am she thinks it's a possibility not to.

DH has a good job and earns well but who's to say how long that will last, companies are going down all the time. I am determined to cling onto career, now more than ever with having DC(s - hopefully in future) to support.

well i did think about it. unfortunately in my 20s i vaguely decided that a baby wouldn't change my life and there was no need to make a fuss about it. needless to say it hasn't worked out quite like that
if i was doing it all over again i'd do the same thing (journalism) but i'd work for a nice big well-behaved corporation like the bbc with proper flexible working policies where you can take a career break. rather than a part of the industry that sacks women for getting pregnant.